It has long been said that opposites attract, and many astrologers believe that a sign’s “secret ambition” can be uncovered by looking directly across the zodiac wheel. Then there’s the saying, “the grass is always greener on the other side.” Do the zodiac signs imagine their opposite signs leading the life they themselves can only dream of? Let’s find out…
ARIES (March 21 – April 19)
Secret Ambition: to link arms with a significant other and bring about reconciliation and justice on a global scale, while singing “Let There Be Peace on Earth” in 2-part harmony
Actual Job: enforcer for The Mob in Hell’s Kitchen, New York, while moonlighting as an insult comic
TAURUS (April 20-May 21)
Secret ambition: to be a sex therapist turned private investigator who operates an embalming parlour in what used to be Amityville House
Actual Job: wardrobe stylist for UPS
GEMINI (May 21-June 20)
Secret ambition: to be a freelance animal trainer and bungee jumping coach working aboard a cruise ship travelling to all seven continents during the course of each year
Actual Job: computer programmer working in the basement of a nondescript building in Manhattan, Kansas
CANCER (June 21-July 22)
Secret Ambition: to be a ruthless, over-achieving real estate developer who stops at nothing to ensure his rise to the top and works in a high rise that makes Trump Tower look like a pre-fab storage building
Actual Job: nursing assistant working with disadvantaged children in Liberia
LEO (July 23-August 22)
Secret Ambition: to be a radical, eccentric and utterly mad scientist and inventor working behind the scenes to overthrow the status quo
Actual Job: personal trainer for people who would rather be at a fine restaurant eating brownie sundae cheesecake
VIRGO (August 23 to September 22)
Secret Ambition: to be a psychic ghost-whisperer gypsy traveller in a billowing silk caftan who teaches lucid dreaming in a parallel universe.
Actual Job: professional copy editor in Gothenburg, Nebraska
LIBRA (September 23-October 22)
Secret Ambition: to rule the world as the leader of a military dictatorship in a country where bullying is a much sought-after degree at national universities
Actual Job: guidance counsellor at a middle school who works as a referee on weekends
SCORPIO (October 23 to November 21)
Secret Ambition: to be a salt-of-the-earth farmer who operates a seed-and-feed store and teaches 4-H participants how to raise longhorn cattle in Tyler, Texas
Actual Job: research assistant to a mortician named Miss Cleo
SAGITTARIUS (November 22 to December 21)
Secret Ambition: to be a best-selling author and Grammy-winning songwriter with multiple personality disorder
Actual Job: church secretary
CAPRICORN (December 22 to January 19)
Secret Ambition: to be a stay-at-home parent, home-schooling ten children plus a couple of neighbour kids, while filling orders for baked goods sold through an Etsy shop
Actual job: know-it-all IT manager
AQUARIUS (January 20 to February 18)
Secret Ambition: to be a cardiologist and reality-show personality, with a side job as emperor of a small country
Actual Job: social worker with responsibility for 100 cases
PISCES (February 19 to March 20)
Secret Ambition: to be a Nobel-prize-winning scientist in the highly specialized field of taxonomy while operating a home-based data processing company
Actual Job: psychic ghost-whisperer gypsy traveller in a billowing silk caftan who teaches lucid dreaming in a parallel universe
Sources: Tell My Tarot, Karen Black
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