Feb 17, 2014

Breaking the TEAL SPELL -- UPDATE: The Noncasts

Crossposted from Reflections Journal.

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Update: The Noncasts (See Below)

Further Update: Blake Addresses Jason Freedman Mystery (See Below)

Yet Another Update: Kicking "Tealers" Down the Memory Hole (See Below)

Some years ago, when I was doing the Flower of Life teacher training with Drunvalo Melchizedek, one of my fellow travelers shared with me that he was troubled by what he called the "Drunvalettes." The term was his own invention but there was no mistaking his meaning. He even pegged a few of our classmates with that term. He liked Drunvalo quite a bit but that there was this kind of adulation by some Flower of Life folks made him uncomfortable. He had some concern that Drunvalo might have been fostering this unquestioning sycophancy. So one day when we were enjoying a break, he asked Drunvalo very directly how he felt about his Drunvalettes.

Dru shook his head and sighed. "I just try to stay out of it," he said.

That's one approach. There's a conversation to be had, for sure, about whether ignoring the phenomenon and trying to distance oneself from it is enough. Is it necessary to more actively discourage such behavior? But I think the one thing we were all in agreement on -- Drunvalo, myself, and the gentleman who raised the concern -- was that such hero worship was not a good or healthy thing.

The term "tealer" has similarly been thrown around to describe those who've drunk the "teal-aid." Some of her more passionate and angry defenders who've posted on my blog have been quite pejoratively labeled "tealers" by other commenters. So imagine my horror when I read this in a recent TEAL post about her seminar in Atlanta.

I am struck by how much the imprint of the days of slavery still remains on some of the older buildings and railways here in town. It has soaked its way especially into the old wood that dots the brick walls. The venue for yesterday’s workshop was one such a building. It was a fitting energy, seeing as how the theme of the entire workshop was self-liberation.

This group which is being called the “Tealers” is the most open minded, eccentrically intellectual group I have ever beheld.  I think it is now my favorite part of holding these workshops.  Long-term friendships are formed.  People find their place to belong. And I get to witness the fact that this world is in good hands.  All across the globe, they form a supportive web of awakening.  They touch the lives of the people in the cities they live in.  It is like a little legion of enlightened spirits, whose practice is that of non-resistance and expansion.

You're Freeeee! Wait. Not so fast.

TEAL's posts are always a box of contradictions. The scenery is beautiful. The people are lovely. The town oozes its fetid history from every nook and cranny. Life is beautiful and filled with joy. I wander through a briar patch of PTSD triggers that hurl me into seizures and despair. My life is so rich and full that I've written a how-to book on self-love. Everything reminds me of my ritual abuse and being sewn into corpses.

And, bonus! This post comes with a healthy dose of bigotry... and, for good measure, a naked lady.

But I digress. She actually wants "tealers." It's positively Orwellian. You too can be liberated if only you will define yourself by your adoration of TEAL.

Teal 1984 photo teal1984_zps929f7b08.jpg

As I said in my first post on the topic, I have never seen a spiritual teacher who has so blatantly courted adulation and fostered dependency. What I've learned two posts and volumes of feedback later is that it's so much worse than I thought.

Recently, yet another TEAL related Facebook group launched: Teal Tribe Dating. That might not be so bad right? A nice little meeting place for people of similar interests under her general auspices. But then I read the copy.

Teal Tribe Dating

"Teal Tribe Dating" is a group for human beings(Well... at least in the 3D) who are single and looking for a loving relationship with a like-minded partner. Teal Tribe turned out to be an easy awesome way for people who are familiar with Teal to find their true friends and soul family, and now you have a chance to meet your true love too. That idea works by the law of attraction: The vibration in this group is high because of the high vibrational message of Teal Scott; Which means meeting high quality and spiritual-minded people. To break the ice, here is a suggestion for introducing yourself:

. . .

Favorite Teal's Video/Art/Quotes:

*To search for profiles go into the 'Photos' tab and click the desired category... [All emphases mine]

Yes, you are part of an elite group of "high vibrational" people because you like TEAL. TEAL's followers are your true soul family. And you can all bond based on your shared devotion to TEAL. You can even find the love of your life as long as it's really all about ♥ TEAL ♥.

This all looks more and more cultish by the day. I can't help thinking of the Moonies and their arranged, mass weddings.

Obviously, Teal Tribe is not a cult like Unification, Hare Krishna, or other highly organized groups. It's not a totalitarian regime. But there are definitely cultish elements. It's enough, in my mind, to be concerning. I say this, in part, because of what I'm hearing from people, publicly and privately, about having difficulty extricating loved ones or even disengaging themselves from her strange pull.

Much of the feedback I've gotten has been from people who described themselves as having been "obsessed" with TEAL, or words very much to that effect. Some said their interest moved rapidly from interest in what she was saying to fascination with her and the soap opera that is her life.

That she turned her life into a kind of reality show called Shadow House, which opened a window into her "intentional family," fed the fascination. Her life is decidedly more interesting than her spiritual teachings. It's full of sex, fights, verbal abuse, and melodrama. Some of these programs made viewers privy to things like TEAL's humiliation of the aforementioned Fallon and also of a gal named Cameron, whose major crime appears to have been that Blake was attracted to her. The fourth wall was torn down completely as viewers made the whole thing interactive. The audience participation portion involved TEAL fans taking to chat, Facebook, and Teal Tribe to verbally assault these people for their grievous mistreatment of TEAL. Anyone who questioned TEAL's treatment of them was likewise set upon by the group.

Anyone who has ever witnessed the vitriol that TEAL inspires in her fans when they seek to defend her would have to wonder just what is meant by "high vibrational."

As I said in that first post, the Fallon episode suggested the confessional element of cult behavior referenced by Robert J. Lifton, as Fallon opened himself to group abasement for his "sociopathic" behavior. As I've learned more about these Shadow House livestreams from those who've viewed them, I've realized that it fits that criterion even more directly than I'd first thought. In Shadow House events, TEAL puts her "family" members in the hot seat and scrutinizes their shadows. Any viewer of these broadcasts would become privy to very personal, private information about her inner circle. According to many accounts, Cameron was compelled to participate over her objections. It ended badly and ultimately caused her to quit the area. This description of the confession element of cult indoctrination is adapted from Lifton.

Sins, as defined by the group, are to be confessed either to a personal monitor or publicly to the group. There is no confidentiality: members' sins, attitudes, and faults are discussed and exploited by the leaders.

Closely related to the demand for absolute purity is an obsession with personal confession. Confession is carried beyond its ordinary religious, legal, and therapeutic expressions to the point of becoming a cult in itself. (Page 425.)

Public confessional periods are used to get members to verbalize and discuss their innermost fears and anxieties as well as past imperfections.

The environment demands that personal boundaries are destroyed and that every thought, feeling, or action that does not conform with the group's rules be confessed.

Members have little or no privacy, physically or mentally.

In assessing the shadows of her housemates, TEAL relies heavily on Byron Katie's "The Work" for methodology. Katie is, herself, on the radar of cult watchers and accounts of her antics certainly do raise an eyebrow. For instance, she also does a homeless exercise very like, if not identical to, the one practiced by James Arthur Ray that resulted in the mysterious death of Colleen Conaway.

I would encourage those familiar with TEAL's organization to look over some of the cult literature linked herein. These two pages include characteristics identified by a number of cult researchers: Intro to Cults 101 and Cult Characteristics. I'm not as acquainted with the inner workings of TEAL world as many readers are but even I can see that these pages point to any number of red flags.

For instance  Rick Ross claims, "Anything the group/leader does can be justified no matter how harsh or harmful." TEAL's vicious attacks on Fallon and Cameron as well as other thoroughly embarrassing Shadow House outbursts are not only justified but extolled as a virtue. TEAL is courageously showing the world her shadow side instead of hiding it like typical gurus, it is claimed. 

Cults are typically formed around charismatic leadership. Lifton observed, "The guru is worshipped, rather than the principles or doctrines (on which the sect is supposed to be based)." As stated, for many of TEAL's followers, the days and nights of Teal Bosworth Scott Swan have upstaged her spiritual teachings. She has made her personal life a major focus of her work, with her Shadow House livestream events and her confessional style blogging.

The American Family Foundation says, "The group is focused on a living leader to whom members seem to display excessively zealous, unquestioning commitment." As discussed, her defenders are passionate, indeed, as I and other critics have learned the hard way.

Carol Giambavo puts it like this: "Charismatic or messianic leader who is self-appointed and has a special mission in life." To say that TEAL is self-appointed and has announced a "special mission" would be to understate her accounting. As discussed, she has described herself as a Eucharist projected here by an Arcturian panel and genetically engineered to be white and beautiful enough to be heard on "every single continent." 

This, again, is the interview in which she explains in painful detail why it was so critical that she have universally appealing features. But not only is she more attractive than those poor, ugly African women, she's not like the rest of us mere mortals at all. She's not even really human.

(9:30) So I am a soul fork. What that means is from nonphysical energy -- so most people in the planet, they're non-physical energy that is projected forth into a physical human body. I am non-physical energy that is perfect-projected forth into an Arcturian body -- an extraterrestrial body. Now that extraterrestrial being has chosen to then project forth as a human body twelve times. This is the twelfth incarnation. And it's quite, it's quite funny, ironically, because before I even came down, um, there was an entire panel of beings, Arcturian beings, sixth dimensional beings, who even chose the way I would look in this life....

(16:15) I'm now three points of perspective. Most people are two. Most people are the higher self and their human perspective, two points of perspective. I'm three, human, extraterrestrial, and nonphysical.

Special. She's very, very special. She also has no idea what irony means, because there is nothing in that story that is remotely ironic.

By virtue of her specialness, her followers are also special. As stated, they are "high vibrational."

As per the American Family Foundation, "The group is elitist, claiming a special, exalted status for itself, its leader(s), and members (for example: the leader is considered the Messiah or an avatar; the group and/or the leader has a special mission to save humanity)."

You mean like a "supportive web of awakening" or a "little legion of enlightened spirits" who are devoted to an Arcturian projecting into human flesh to act as a Eucharist?

"Tealers" and "Teal Tribe Dating" members are told they've found their "place to belong" and their "true friends and soul family." It sounds an awful lot like the "love bombing" described by the Cult Information Centre: "Creating a sense of family and belonging through hugging, kissing, touching and flattery."

According to  the American Family Foundation, "Questioning, doubt, and dissent are discouraged or even punished." Or as Steven Hassan puts it, "No critical questions about leader, doctrine, or policy seen as legitimate."

Many people report having had their comments deleted from TEAL's blog, when they raised uncomfortable questions or pointed out discrepancies. References to these deletions -- or having such comments held up in moderation -- are peppered throughout the comments on the two previous posts. Notably, a frequent commenter on TEAL's blog named Lena had her account deleted with her entire comment history. When this deletion was called out in the comments on my blog and then by regulars on TEAL's blog, Blake finally responded. He claimed that it was an error on the part of an overzealous admin who did so out of love for TEAL. I asked Blake to explain how it was that his claimed no-censorship policy was never adequately communicated to the admin and why it was that so many reported having been censored. That was weeks ago. He has never responded to my query. That exchange, such as it was, can be found here.

More to the point, consider how TEAL has responded to the questions I have raised in my two posts. She has called me a "hater" who "crawled out of the woodwork" to try to co-opt her growing fame. She has accused me of causing her great emotional pain. Her posts in response to my questions serve to polarize her most devoted followers against the very act of raising questions or having doubts. It solidifies an "us vs. them" attitude towards anyone who would dare question, which Hassan identifies as one of the methods of "thought control."

"Whenever the group/leader is criticized or questioned it is characterized as 'persecution'," says Rick Ross. In TEAL's case, it's morphing into paranoia. In a recent post, she cites her critics as justification for ramping up the already very noticeable security.

I’m sure some people are wondering why I bother having security personnel at my workshops if I teach (and believe) the concept of “I create my own reality”.  So I wanted to explain it to you.

. . .

Part of the contrast involved with fame is the contrast of having “haters” and “antagonists”.  We chose the potential of this contrast before even coming into this life.  We chose it for the sake of our own expansion.  The experience of these types of interactions and people, leads to the desire and therefore creation of staying true to ourself regardless of opposition, benevolence, unity, appreciative focus and love within our own lives and within the universe.  This is part of why we chose the “fame path” to begin with over other paths we could have chosen.

Another cult indicator is a lack of fiscal transparency. As Rick Ross puts it, there is "No meaningful financial disclosure regarding budget, expenses such as an independently audited financial statement." The billboard campaign is illustrative. After a number of people mentioned in comments on my blog that they wondered what had happened to all the donations to this project, the issue magically appeared in a new blog post. (That there is a call and response thing going on between my blog and her posts has been noted repeatedly.) But this explanation was at least a day late and a buck or two short.

As per usual, there is an enormous learning curve with any new endeavor.  The first crowd funding campaign we did accomplished almost nothing.  The perks we offered turned out to be almost as expensive to create and provide as the money people were donating.  On top of that, one of the people helping with the campaign, offered a perk that wasn’t his to offer due to a copyright someone else had on his work, so we ended up being forced to pay a bunch of money to a third party person for a perk that had already been delivered.  In the end, we made too little money in profits to accomplish many of our goals.  But having learned our lesson the hard way, we are planning in the near future to start another campaign with the very same aim.

So, it would appear that TEAL's idea of financial disclosure goes something like this: All that money you all donated? It's pretty much gone with nothing to show for it. Can we have some more?

Use of "deception" in recruiting and fundraising is cited by Hasssan, Giambalvo, and the U of C, but it also kind of goes without saying, doesn't it? Aside from the murkiness about people's donations, there's a lot about TEAL's claims that raises questions. Of course, whether or not she was specially designed by an Arcturian panel is a little hard to validate one way or the other. Such "revealed knowledge" is integral to many a religious experience but the difficulty in fact-checking means we accept it on faith or we don't.

But there is also a lack of empirical proof to things like her very central claim of Satanic ritual abuse. Many such claims were made in the 80s and 90s. But TEAL herself admits that there's no evidence other than the say-so of victims like herself and claims that most of those are too terrified to come forward.

As I wrote before, to TEAL's great consternation, the FBI investigated claims of Satanic ritual abuse and found there was no real evidence. Psychologists and other experts who testified in court cases against abusers have since been discredited and largely discounted as it's come to light that false memories can be implanted during therapy. That said, a great deal of TEAL's narrative comes apart if that doesn't happen to be true. In fairness, she may believe it whether or not it's true.

When I was looking into Byron Katie for this post, I came across another troubling bit of information. Her story of awakening and TEAL's are strikingly similar. Both involve insects which inspired radical shifts in perspective during very dark passages in their lives.

TEAL's story of the "little ant" that awakened her to the awareness of life teeming merrily all around her even as she was confined to a hole by her Mormon Satanist abuser starts at about the 17:00 minute mark. The inappropriate laughter as she begins to tell it is particularly jarring.

Byron Katie's story of awakening while staring at a cockroach can be found here.

Less than two weeks after I entered the halfway house, my life changed completely. What follows is a very approximate account.

One morning I woke up. I had been sleeping on the floor as usual. Nothing special had happened the night before; I just opened my eyes. But I was seeing without concepts, without thoughts or an internal story. There was no me. It was as if something else had woken up. It opened its eyes. It was looking through Katie's eyes. And it was crisp, it was clear, it was new, it had never been here before. Everything was unrecognizable. And it was so delighted! Laughter welled up from the depths and just poured out. It breathed and was ecstasy. It was intoxicated with joy: totally greedy for everything. There was nothing separate, nothing unacceptable to it. Everything was its very own self. For the first time I — it — experienced the love of its own life. I — it —was amazed

In trying to be as accurate as possible, I am using the word “it” for this delighted, loving awareness, in which there was no me or world, and in which everything was included. There just isn't another way to say how completely new and fresh the awareness was. There was no I observing the “it.” There was nothing but the “it.” And even the realization of an “it” came later.

Let me say this in a different way. A foot appeared; there was a cockroach crawling over it. It opened its eyes, and there was something on the foot; or there was something on the foot, and then it opened its eyes — I don't know the sequence, because there was no time in any of this. So, to put it in slow motion: it opened its eyes, looked down at the foot, a cockroach was crawling across the ankle, and … it was awake! It was born. And from then on, it's been observing. But there wasn't a subject or an object. It was — is — everything it saw. There's no separation in it, anywhere.

In the midst of this experience, the four questions that would go on to define "The Work" were born: Is it true or can I really know that it's true? How do I react when I think that thought? Can I find one peaceful reason to believe that thought? Who would I be without the thought?

So, here we have two women, in the depths of despair, after years of suffering, who both realized they could simply shift their perspective while staring at bugs. It's a little coincidental, doncha think? And Byron Katie is one of the only sources TEAL acknowledges drawing from.

I still have a hard time seeing how either of these teachings differ from telling people they can heal themselves through willful denial, but that's probably a discussion for another day.

"To us it's all about truth. And we have an addiction to it. We have this absolute addiction. Worldwide addiction to the idea that we have to know what is true, which is just ridiculous. Because most of us are killing ourselves with what we think is true. So the question is why do you want truth to begin with? I want truth 'cause I think I will be happier if I have truth. Okay, well what if the truth is this and that makes you feel like crap. Does that really make you feel better? Why are we going about it the long way? Why not just decide that what matters is that you feel good? It's the only reason you want truth anyway. And most of the time when people realize that, life becomes a bit more soft. You know? It becomes a bit more about does this benefit me, not is it true." ~ TEAL

It has been suggested by many people, myself included, that TEAL sounds an awful lot like Abraham-Hicks. But TEAL says no. At around minute 20:00 in the Nova Zem interview posted above, she says she'd only learned about Abraham channeler Esther Hicks about a year before because "someone" who was listening to her drew the comparison. She gives Abraham-Hicks a pat on the head for being the "most accurate" of channelers but this comes in the midst of her explaining why what she does is so much better than channeling. She really is a higher consciousness being. She's not just channeling one, which is all we ordinary humans can do.

That interview took place in March of 2013. But Blake Dyer, who is pretty much her right hand, knew about the Abraham teachings at least as far back as March of 2011, two years, not one year before. Now is it possible that there's some confusion about the dates? Sure. Is it possible that she and Blake didn't confer? Maybe. Is it possible that it's entirely coincidental that TEAL's teachings are "effectively identical" to those of Abraham-Hicks, as a commenter noted in response to Blake? I guess it's possible. What is stranger is just how it is that we know Blake was familiar with Abraham-Hicks in March of 2011. It's because we know to a near certainty that Blake was at that time doing a lot of his TEAL promotion under the name of Jason Freedman, who wrote this comment on an Abraham-Hicks discussion forum.

Hello all,
I am a free lance journalist who is a long time devotee of a teacher called Teal Scott (The spiritual catalyst)
When I was discussing Teal's teachings to a friend a while back, they said wow... That sounds just like what Abraham is saying. So, I decided to check it out.
I love the messages of both these Teachers (which are so very similar) I can't tell you the good it has brought to my life. I believe we are presented teachers just when we need them most.

How do we know that this Jason Freedman was actually Blake? Therein hangs a tale.

Soon after I did my first post on the woman then known as Teal Scott, a gentleman commenting under the moniker Mykeyta offered some background. He had once considered her ex-husband Mark Scott a good friend. Blake Dyer had also been a friend. The friendships were strained by his growing discomfort with TEAL's many claims and their absorption in her ambition. When an opinion piece was published in the local paper, discussing TEAL's claims of Satanic ritual abuse, he was troubled by the swarm attack on the editor who wrote it and any other commenter who didn't accept her story at face value. More than one of them were evocative of his friend Blake so he came to the conclusion that TEAL's "army" was largely made up of sock puppets. In particular there are several comments in that thread by Jason Freedman. Mykeyta found that Mr. Freedman had written the "puff piece" I mentioned in that post. He also noted that the picture of Mr. Freedman looked an awful lot like Blake Dyer. He called the number listed for Mr. Freedman and found that he also sounded a lot like Blake Dyer.

I don't know Mykeyta any better than I know TEAL or Blake Dyer or anyone else in their sphere, but to me his story had the ring of truth. More than TEAL's stories do at any rate. A photo taken from a distance in front of the Great Wall of China -- a place he knew Blake had been -- and his account of vocal recognition make for an intriguing story, but they're not evidence.

Flash forward to a couple of days ago when, on my second blog post on the subject, Mykeyta recounted the story to someone who very understandably hadn't read the 1000+ comments on these two posts. Another person called Ima Guest had been having trouble posting some comments due to computer issues but emailed me something more like documentary proof that Blake Dyer and Jason Freedman are one and the same. And it all comes down to that phone number.

Here's the number for Jason Freedman:

Jason Freedman Number

Jason Freedman Detail

Here's the number for TEAL's Frequency Jewelry:

Frequency Jewelry

Frequency Jewelry Detail

Here's the number for Blake Dyer:

Blake's Number

Here's what happens when you put the phone number in Google:

google 8019499651

I think it's pretty safe to say at this point that Jason Freedman is Blake Dyer.

This would mean that Blake Dyer, under a pseudonym, wrote up an interview with a former girlfriend to promote a business, Teal Eye LLC, of which he is the Director. He did not disclose his close association with TEAL or her business. Instead he posed as a fictional reporter "who writes for periodicals both nationally and internationally," but whose byline, strangely, only seems to bring up that one story in searches.

Worse, he used this fake persona, once again, to comment on the Herald Journal piece where he argued from authority as a reporter with a twenty year career. These comments appear alongside other comments from sundyer, Blake's official moniker, and who knows how many other socks.

Mr. Freedman wrote three comments in response to that column. They are the only comments he has  posted to date to the Herald Journal.

His first comment, posted at 10:25 am on Mon, Mar 28, 2011:

I'm totally appalled by the mocking and disbelieving tone of this article. "Just another reader" and "Bluto" and "DL in Den"... you are full of crap. I have worked for 20 years in investigative journalism,. I have seen reports like this one float across the desks of reporters only to be ignored because no one likes to touch these stories. Not because they are not true but because society is not ready to face the bitter reality that it does happen and did happen this time. Society's blind ignorance to this happening is why it continues to happen. I'm totally Ashamed that any of you would think this woman would have anything to gain from telling her story. Instead, she risks everything. She risks her own safety, credibility and connection by admitting these things. Women like her are the rare, brave, exception to the rule of silent victims. Anyone who does not stand beside her participates in silencing victims and therefore siding with perpetrators everywhere. Perpetrators BANK on victims being discredited as some of you have done.
the only reason the columnist mentioned her book (which aside from the foreword has nothing to do with abuse) is because he saw an interview with her in it talking about the book on Park City TV. The book is the reason he even heard this story.
He admitted this himself.
I thought this editor did an injustice to victims everywhere by releasing this column with a "tale tale" tone to it.
That was the only thing "LAME" about this article.
I'm embarrassed to be human today having read some of the un supportive comments that are being written about this.

His second comment, posted at 6:57 pm on Mon, Mar 28, 2011:

I got very upset about that. I did not mean to be insulting. The issue is this... I happen to have done a lot of journalism in jails where I talked to three separate prisoners who confessed to me directly about how they would go about mentally programming children. I have heard it from the horse's mouth. Not the victim's mouths.
Visit this link for a bit...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sUfzWTem15E (first of eight videos)
and http://ritualabuse.us/ritualabuse/studies/satanic-ritual-abuse-evidence-with-information-on-the-mcmartin-preschool-case/

His third comment, posted at 9:02 am on Tue, Mar 29, 2011:

The only reason I can see for people to be so adamant to discredit claims of ritual abuse is if they themselves where practicing participants.

Mr. Freedman also wrote a letter to the editor, making basically the same case.

In response to the article titled “Claims of local torture cult got this editor’s attention,” featured March 27, I am appalled by the disbelieving tone of the article addressing the ritual abuse suffered by the subject of the aforementioned article, “Teal Scott.” I am a freelance journalist who has seen reports of ritual abuse in our state float across the desks of reporters and be ignored for 20 years. This ignorance to the validity of these stories is exactly why they continue to happen in our community. As a result of this article, I have researched Teal Scott myself only to find that she is not to be discredited. It is time that the citizens of Utah came out of ignorance about the ritual abuse (especially satanic ritual abuse) that continues to go on in the state and stood behind those who are brave enough to come out of hiding and say something about it.

If Blake and Freedman are one and the same, as they surely appear to be, that would mean that in order to attack and shame people for questioning the veracity of TEAL's story, he's adopted a fake persona and proffered as evidence prison interviews that never happened during a journalism career history he's made up. Blake Dyer has raised mendacity to an art form.

Pay attention, TEAL. That is irony.

Speaking for myself, a realization of that kind of fraud would cause me to become disillusioned. Disillusionment is painful, but I prefer it to the alternative -- believing in an illusion. I guess I'm one of those people who's addicted to truth.

I have experienced similar disillusionment. I have learned to my great dismay that teachers I have followed were not what they appeared to be and even that they were baldfaced liars. I have discovered that I was being manipulated and mislead. It was painful. It did not "feel good" to learn it. I'm still glad I learned it because it freed me up to seek elsewhere for spiritual education and guidance.

And I have felt very foolish. Like many people, I used to think that I was too smart to fall for con artists and cult leaders. I was wrong. It was humbling. But humility is a great place from which to start over.

"When I hear someone say that only stupid people fall for fraud, I feel like asking for that person’s phone number. But here’s the thing: I didn’t want to talk to stupid people, because stupid people don’t have $50,000 lying around to give me. You would be amazed at how many doctors, lawyers, engineers, and college professors I have ripped off. The bottom line is, fraud is a crime that can happen to anyone, given the right con artist and a victim with the right set of circumstances." ~ The Anonymous Confessions of a Con Artist

In the comments, following my last post on TEAL, a woman named Becky asked what I and other commenters recommended for spiritual guidance and inspiration to fill the gap left by TEAL. It was a good conversation that can be read in full starting on the first page of comments on that post. I'd like to address it here because my rather lengthy attempt to address it in the comments was eaten by blogger. But also because I think it's a good jumping off point to a larger conversation about healing after this kind of disillusionment.

I was thinking about how defensive people get on the whole Teal subject, and why that is... It occurs to me that maybe it's because in a way she gives a lot of people hope. People hear her story and feel empowered by it, if she can "beat those odds" maybe they can too.

I think they start to get angry because they might feel betrayed by Teal when the story starts to fall apart, and that hopeless feeling starts to return. That's probably a space a lot of people don't want to go back to, so they live in denial about the story crumbling, but they still have to direct that anger somewhere.

Somehow the phrase "Don't shoot the messenger" comes to mind. A lot of people are taking this stuff very personally and it might be a good idea to ask why that is?

I was just thinking about my thought process through all of this, how my emotions came into play when I was trying to figure out where I stand on all this Teal stuff.
I guess I'm asking, what else has helped you, what gives you hope? What inspires you? What's helped you grow as a person?

I'm curious about what resources you trust that you would direct people to if they wanted better themselves, but didn't necessarily know where to go?

What she is describing in the first part of that comment is cognitive dissonance and it's key to understanding manipulation and indoctrination. Leon Festinger did the seminal research in the 1950s. I touched on this briefly here, as well. Festinger theorized that people are most comfortable when their thoughts, feelings, and actions, are all congruent. Among other things, this means that we are strongly motivated to continue believing falsehoods if no longer believing them comes into conflict with life choices we've made, money we've laid out, and happiness we've attained by believing in them. So very often we will cleave to the falsehood with greater ferocity to protect our own sense of inner harmony.

I am always a little reticent to make general recommendations because there is no one size fits all when it comes to spiritual teaching. In particular, when a person is coming out of a situation where someone has been abusing spiritual authority, as I believe TEAL does, the last thing I want to do is run the risk of further over-running instincts that may be quite damaged.

I will tell readers what I tell my clients. My recommendations are my opinion. If what I say doesn't feel right for you, disregard it.

If you are coming out of any abusive situation, spiritual or otherwise, there is probably soul loss. For that I recommend soul retrieval. I had several soul retrievals with a skilled shaman. They helped me to restore parts lost to abusive teachers and healers. They also helped to restore missing parts that had left me vulnerable to such influences in the first place. They helped, period. My path takes me through shamanism and indigenous teachings so that work is a fit for me. The seminal book on the topic is Soul Retrieval by Sandra Ingerman. For more information, a good resource is Christina Pratt's internet radio show, Why Shamanism Now? The entire catalog can be heard for free on iTunes and other streaming sources. Finding information on some of the relevant broadcasts can be found by searching the word retrieval on my Celestial Reflections blog.

Another great resource for restoring the soul and repairing damaged instincts is Women Who Run With the Wolves by Clarissa Pinkola Est├ęs. I call it, among other things, therapy in a book. It really walks you through a process. I've written more about that book and the power of story here and here.

Mostly, I recommend following your nose and seeing where it leads you. It's just a good idea to get in touch with your instincts and learn to trust your sense of smell first. Christina Pratt talks about bouncing everything off your "truth cord." It helps if you've located that line that runs right through your core.

In much of the developed world, we've been raised to think of God and the paths to God as outside of ourselves and dependent on spiritual authority. We've been acculturated to seek the teacher who speaks with certitude based on things only he or she could know and, as such, bestow upon us. But I think argument from authority is a logical fallacy and have learned to avoid such teachers like the plague. This, in part, is why the "cosmic answer lady" persona in the Ask Teal videos is something I find so off-putting. I don't trust ex cathedra teachings.

Spiritual guidance should take you inward. It should foster your personal relationship with spirit. It shouldn't be about the teacher. No teacher should be giving you answers. They should only be teaching you how to learn.

I don't recommend authors and teachers who tell you that spiritual development is simple, particularly if they give x number of steps. To quote Joseph Campbell, “If you can see your path laid out in front of you step by step, you know it's not your path. Your own path you make with every step you take. That's why it's your path.”

There are any number of authors and thinkers I could point to who delight, inform, and inspire me. Their names are peppered throughout my writings. But when I really think about what inspires me, it's not a person. It's spirit. It's my personal relationship with my guides and the pathway to the numinous that runs right up the center of my being. It's the amusing game of finding Easter eggs hidden in the most unexpected books and movies that my guides point me to. It's those moments of reverie that come simply because I am staring at a piece of art or listening to music. It's the constant reminders from the spirit world that even when I think I'm running my own life, I'm not. I'm being led by the hand by something so much wiser than I am and that it is that inner compass that has told me to pick up a certain book or watch a particular movie or go to a certain place at a certain time. I have incredible gratitude to teachers and healers I've worked with like Virginia Sandlin and Christina Pratt. But in the end what I am grateful for is that they consistently pointed me not towards themselves but towards my own connection with all that is.

Addendum: My two previous posts on TEAL are worth reading for additional background and for the phenomenal discussions that have taken place in the comments:

Who and What is Teal Scott
The Artist Formerly Known as Teal Scott

Update: "The Noncasts"

In March of this year, TEAL and her new husband Sarbdeep Swan introduced a new video series called "Tea Time with Teal" -- not Tea Time with The Swans, mind you. TEAL is still the staaahhh! Only her name can appear on the marquee. I think it's in her contract.

These weekly episodes are called "podcasts" but aren't anything of the kind. Whereas podcasts are hosted on a platform, such as iTunes, so that they can be easily downloaded, kept, and enjoyed on other devices, these are just more garden variety YouTube videos. Podcasts are designed to be accessible, easily disseminated, and portable.

Ironically (note the correct use of this word), these not-podcasts are announced only to an email list, are posted on a hidden, unlinked page on her website, and the YouTube videos are set to private. I won't call them podcasts. I have variously referred to them as: stealthcasts, not-podcasts, tea things, narrowcasts, and narrowcasts for tea-sipping pod people.

The icing on the irony cake? The second of these husband and wife discussions was about TEAL's insistence that their private life be open to the public.

These tea things have provided great fodder for discussion in the comment thread for this blog post. The conversations evolved into a regular feature I call the noncasts. These write-ups mirror the subject matter in that they report on discussions of the tea things I've had with my husband. The official title of this series is "How to Drive Your Double PhD Husband Crazy by Making Him Watch TEAL Videos."

As with the tea things, these are not indexed, freestanding posts. If you're interested, you'll have to dig for them. They can only be found in the comment thread for this post. Page searches for the words noncast or tea should get you there.

* Addendum to the Addendum: With the end of teal's marriage to Sarbdeep, comes the definitive end to "Tea Time with Teal," and, therefore, to the noncasts. I will conclude this exercise by adding to this already absurdly long post a complete list of the noncasts. I will include a link to the initial comment of each noncast, for those whose browsers can interpret that, and the page link for the relevant comments.

In those teacasts, we all got to know a third member of teal's menagerie: the frog. He emerged as a star in his own right. Calm and stoical as only a butler of such impeccable credentials can be, he kept his head when all about him were losing theirs. The frog recently launched a video channel and has begun producing videos in the odd hours, as his schedule permits. The first includes his thoughts as interpreted by his growing legion of fans. So, teal, Sarbdeep, and frog, thanks for the memories.

Further Update: Regarding Jason Freedman, et al.

This post raises a question about the odd correlation between Blake Dyer's and Jason Freedman's likeness and phone number. It took an incident in the Teal Tribe Facebook group to get Blake to address this question, but he has. It would have been nice if he'd done so directly with me, but I'll take what I can get.

What I could get was some screenshots given to me by Teal Tribe members of Blake's attempts to explain this odd coincidence, and another oddity involving a claimed psychiatrist, William Macey PHD [sic], who also bear's Blake's likeness. I have discussed this matter in the comments, but it occurs to me that it, in fairness to the reader and to Blake Dyer, it should also be placed in the body of this post.

The following screenshots are not in any particular order and vary in format, as they came from various sources in various forms. I don't actually know how the dialog unfolded. I only know that these questions were raised in the Teal Tribe group and Blake attempted to answer at least some of them.

Blake denied both knowing Jason Freedman and knowing how it is that he came to have the same phone number. He did so more than once as follows:

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Blake acknowledged that the photos used by both Jason Freedman and William Macey were of him, but denied knowing how they came to be associated with either:

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So, my question to Blake, which I posed down in the comments as well, is simply this. How is it that he does not know Jason Freedman? Freedman apparently did a face to face interview with TEAL. Couldn't he just ask her? And if he is in the dark about this interview with the mysterious Mr. Freedman, how is it that he promoted said article on Facebook?

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Yet Another Update: Kicking "Tealers" Down the Memory Hole

It brings me no joy that I must, once again, update this excruciatingly long post. But it's recently come to my attention that teal is trying to rewrite history. Above I quoted a passage from her Korean spa post about the world-changing potential of the "Tealers." At some point between the original publication of that post and its move to her new website, the passage I quoted above was changed and the word "Tealers" removed. But the original text is still visible on the cached version in the internet archive, or wayback machine.

Here is what that passage looked like when it was originally published in 2014.

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Here is what that passage looks like in the current version on her new website.

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Her clean-up was incomplete, however. The word "Tealers" appears further down in the post.

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  1. Noncast: Power of Beard Pt 2

    Sarbdeep asks teal how she would describe the dark night of the soul. After a long, uncomfortable pause, she squeaks:

    "What would you consider a dark night of the soul?"


    But Sarbdeep is a game fellow so he'll pick the ball up from deep in his own end zone and run with it. He describes it as a process of coming face to face with yourself and taking a ruthless self-inventory of your flaws.

    When teal finally recovers the ball, she restates what he's just said: It's facing your shadow because it just can't be avoided anymore. Then she explains:

    "I like to use this metaphor a lot of butterflies because if you understand what a caterpillar does when it goes into a cocoon and becomes a butterfly, it doesn't grow wings. It literally dissolves so if you were to open up a one of these chrysalis in the middle of the transformation process what would pour out of it is this like goop... So a caterpillar literally is ripped into this primordial soup before it rearranges itself into that form of a caterpillar. So the dark night of the soul is that sort of kkkkkt. We could consider that a complete shredding of who somebody is."

    What's really funny about that explanation is that I wrote the same thing in my post The Dark Night of the Soul.

     "But there is more to the symbol of the butterfly that makes it one of the primary archetypes of transformation. To fully appreciate butterfly as symbol, you have to understand what really happens to the caterpillar when it's in the chrysalis. A butterfly is not a caterpillar with wings. It doesn't just sprout them and then emerge. A butterfly is a completely remade caterpillar. While it's in the chrysalis, the butterfly secretes a digestive enzyme which dissolves its body all the way down into a gelatinous state. It reforms from that raw material into a wholly new creature; one that can fly. This, in a sense, is what is happening during the dark night of the soul. The ego, that which defines your body and mind, and holds you together as you, is being broken down into its rawest state. Not surprisingly, many of us find this process of dissolution uncomfortable. But it is a passage between a shallow, ego-centered centered faith and a mature experience of the divine."

    The other thing about that that's funny is that we discussed that post on this very comment thread, which I know from my stats Blake and that little "intentional family" in Utah, in fact, read.

    So, I'll put it to you, gentle reader. If teal uses that metaphor "a lot," perhaps someone could point me to where she's said that previously -- say, before I wrote about it. Else, I'll assume I've been plagiarized. Well, at least that puts me in lots of good company.

    The other thing about this whole thing that's funny is that, despite her mysteriously choosing the exact same metaphor I wrote about to describe the dark night, she never actually articulates the core meaning of the metaphor or of the dark night itself: EGO DEATH

    The dark night of the soul is the dissolution of the perceived self because it is that ego identity that separates us from God, from oneness.

    Funnily -- because as you know I love Jungian synchronicities -- while my husband and I were listening to this teacast, my daughter came and told us that her butterflies had emerged from their little chrysalises. We get her these fun, little butterfly kits that come with a butterfly cage, caterpillars and caterpillar food. So we have a new batch of painted ladies. We did not, at any point, break open their chrysalises and poor out the goop... because that would be cruel.

  2. Noncast: Power of Beard Pt 3

    I also agree with teal that feeling your feelings is very important. I read her recent blog post on that and agreed with the essence of it. I also think it stands in stark contrast to a lot of LOA material with all its emphasis on staying positive. She frequently seems to be at cross-purposes with herself on this issue because she extols the virtues of shadow work but still wants to talk about the importance of "feeling good" and creating your desired reality with your thoughts and emotions. It's not a neat pairing. Of course it doesn't help that I've been on and on about this problem for years, starting with my original take-down of the The Secret here.

    Even within the context of this brief discussion, teal's at contradicts herself on how this is supposed to work. At about the 19:00 minute mark she breaks out her "emotional scale" and explains that this process of allowing "negative emotions" is Part II. It's "easier" to teach people to "line up" with their "joy" -- well, except that they get "tossed out of alignment" so easily that they have to be taught. If it's easier to line up with joy, why do we get "tossed out" so much that we need to be taught how to feel these things? But then in Part II, after being taught to line up with joy, these spiritual teachers teach people to "line up" with their "pain." Ta da!

    Around the 27:00 minute mark, she effectively reverses the order and  explains to Sarbdeep that you have go backward to go forward. You have to deal with the painful emotions first, and then the positive is a "byproduct" of resolving all that.

    Here's a crazy thought. Why not just start with our clients exactly where they are? No scale, no judgment, no valuation -- just showing up and being present with where they are right now. Wouldn't that make more sense? Well, it makes more sense to me which is why that's what I do.

    I am big believer in sitting with your uncomfortable feelings and getting to the truth of them. When we stop trying to distract ourselves out of emotional discomfort we come fully present and we are able to complete a process and heal. So, good for teal that she seems to, for today, more or less, believe that. But wait! Scan up the page into this blog post and read what she said about truth. Now tell me again that teal is all about getting real with our emotional states even when they don't feel good.

    For today, teal is talking authenticity, and that's good. She also seems to be talking about soul retrieval, kinda sorta. We do, in my opinion, lose soul parts through trauma. They need to be found and reintegrated. Shamanic healing is, I think, the best way to do that, but teal doesn't mention that. She just talks about coming present with the emotion of them. And then she just goes way off the deep end.

    According to teal, pretty much everything is traumatic. And childhood is minefield of traumatic events. What kind? Well, once, when she was a baby, she couldn't roll herself over in her crib. She's still dealing with the emotional fallout. As per teal, not being able to roll over as an infant causes Post Traumatic Stress and "fragmentation." And everything is our parents' fault.

    Our parents have failed us -- all of us -- because of their inability to be unconditionally... wait for it... present. They could not give us the "unconditional presence" we needed. As a result we're all traumatized.

  3. Noncast: Power of Beard Pt 4

    Now let's consider that teal still claims to be an LOA believer. If our thoughts are creating our reality, what might the consequence be of telling everyone that they're suffering from PTS because they're perfectly normal childhoods have left them terribly fragmented?

    "This is important for everybody, um, to know. You are a fractured person because you have a multitude of children who are all stuck at the ages that they were traumatized."

    Here are some of the things that have so "traumatized" teal that they should force us to reexamine our social structure:

    * The doctors took the time to sew up her mother's third degree obstetric tears, thereby destroying their mother-child bonding process. Perhaps it would have been better if they'd just risked permanent physical damage by not administering necessary medical treatment?
    * Her mother apparently wanted her to get her own juice bottle when she was a toddler instead of doing everything for her. 
    * She couldn't roll over in her crib.

    As per teal, we were all traumatized as we moved through normal childhoods and developmental stages. It's the small stuff that really messes us up. The major crises less so.

    It's kind of like my husband. He has this vivid memory of being a toddler and having maple syrup on his hands after eating some waffles. But he didn't have the verbal skills yet to express his discomfort and get his mother to clean his hands. He's pretty sure that this is why he's killed all those hobos and buried them in the backyard. It's a straightforward case of repetition compulsion. He just keeps reliving the trauma of sticky, maple syrup on his hands with sticky, hobo blood on his hands. See? He can't help it. "There's no better way to purge the demons of sticky, toddler hands than a hobo's blood," he says.

    But I digress. I don't disagree that normal life and household dynamics can be damaging on some level, particularly in Western culture. For instance, Christina Pratt has explained that the fact that we don't initiate our young people into adulthood has unfortunate consequences. This is something she learned after years of doing soul retrieval work and coming across numerous instances of missing soul parts that fragmented off in adolescence. These parts, she says can be found still waiting for their initiation. Among indigenous peoples, such initiations are common, less so in the civilized world. Some of us have church related rituals like confirmation or Jewish Bar and Bat Mitzvahs, but they have largely been emptied of all meaning. Many of us don't even have those. So, that appears to be a real, genuine problem that is well addressed through soul retrieval. I don't know if Christina's ever retrieved soul parts lost to toddlers who were expected to get their own juice. Maybe I should ask her.

  4. Noncast: Power of Beard Pt 5

    I don't doubt that teal is a deeply unhappy woman. There really seems to be something very wrong. The problem is that she's projecting this onto everyone else. Again, she sees her face on everyone else (Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich). Many people came through difficult births, and getting our own juice without developing PTS. Frankly, it's insulting to people who have lived through genuine, life-threatening trauma and really do suffer from PTS.

    Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know. She's was ritually abused by a Mormon Satanist. She's a victim of unfathomable evil. The fact that I strongly doubt that aside, she claims that this was also the result of that egregious hospital malpractice when they prioritized her mother's health and safety:

    "Because of the induced, vacuum delivery and subsequent separation from my mother right after birth, I developed the fear of being taken from my parents, and because of my focus on that fear, when I was six, I manifested being separated from my parents by a sociopath."

    Stupid hospital! Don't they consider the potential for causing Satanic Ritual Abuse through their practice of routine medical care?!!! THINK OF THE CHILDREN!!!

    According to teal, her birth trauma has made her long to live forever in a womb or, secondarily, be carried around in a great big Baby Bjorn. That her lovers need to leave the room from time to time is a real problem for her and triggers her abandonment issues. Are my husband and myself the only people who think it's at least a little interesting that a woman who wants to live in a giant womb claims to have been sewn up into corpses?

    Yes, according to teal, having a parents who weren't there every minute anticipating every need causes PTS. What kills me about this is that there are real, genuine problems in the world, and in our homes.

    What keeps popping into my head as teal complains about her parents' failure to give her all she wanted and be forever present is the scene in Addams Family Values when Debbie Jellinsky explains why she keeps killing her husbands for their money: childhood trauma, plain and simple.

    "My parents, Sharon and Dave. Generous, doting, or were they? All I ever wanted was a Ballerina Barbie. In her pretty pink tutu. My birthday. I was 10, and do you know what they got me? Malibu Barbie... That's not what I wanted! That's not who I was. I was a ballerina, graceful, delicate! They had to go."


  5. Noncast: Power of Beard Pt 6

    So, as per teal, all our problems trace back to childhood when we were horribly fractured by minor slights and discomfort. Don't be thinking any of our problems trace to past lives, though. That's a "cop out."

    Try to keep up now. Can't roll over in your crib because you're an infant and lack the gross motor skills: PTS. But that past life stuff is a bunch of hooey.

    Needless to say, I disagree. I would refer people to Brian Weiss's Many Lives, Many Masters, for a start. Why? Because he found exactly the opposite. And he was a skeptic who didn't believe in any of it, when he accidentally regressed a woman by thousands of years. Uncovering her childhood issues hadn't helped and she was still dealing with multiple neuroses. But to his amazement, when she started recalling her past lives, a beautiful healing process unfolded. In years of practice, he's found that healing is much more rapid with past life work, than with more conventional therapy. He has the case studies to prove it. What does teal have other than, once again, an opinion stated as a fact?

    The other new age trope teal thinks people should let go of is all this starseed bullshit. It's frustrating for her the way people come to her wanting to hear that "home" is some other planet. It "distracts us from the work." They really just want their "pain to be validated."

    Says the woman who was "projected" by an Arcturian panel and specially designed to be pretty and white enough to reach people "on every continent." The starseed who experienced the worst hell imaginable so that she could serve human expansion by getting herself out of it. Remember her?

    My husband has a sneaking suspicion that teal is beginning to transition her life story to something that might stand a snowball's chance in hell of getting noticed by Oprah. You don't get major media bookings by talking about how you're actually Arcturian. Talking about Satanic Ritual Abuse has also really passed its freshness date. Not even Geraldo will touch that shit anymore. He thinks she's creating a new narrative to explain her erratic behavior. Could be. But the internet never forgets.

  6. "So, I'll put it to you, gentle reader. If teal uses that metaphor "a lot," perhaps someone could point me to where she's said that previously -- say, before I wrote about it"

    that is the perfect job for Elena - she will know.

    "My husband has a sneaking suspicion that teal is beginning to transition her life story to something that might stand a snowball's chance in hell of getting noticed by Oprah. You don't get major media bookings by talking about how you're actually Arcturian."

    your husband is a good listener!!! Note that she didn't give any radio interviews anymore - usually every 2 weeks and it goes from satan-torture-arcturian-world famous workshops etc.

    Excellent summery and learnt a lot LV, thanks for being the translator.

    Butterfly kit - amazing!

  7. btw - with hey house involved, oprah is around the corner. Really interesting to see if O goes Teal. Could Teal be the second in the row after Tolle?

    Again I return to the Business plan for Tealeye and the Brand Teal or TEAL SWAN.

    -stage one: effect the whole self-help community with an exciting alien story and get them on board. Deliver easy reinterpretation of teachings of all kind of nature and unit them by use of your high IQ. Give 100 radio interviews to get another client group who is not familiar with the web. youtube softvideo series runs now by itself. Get hooks into the private lifes of clients by delivering a weekly series which people will start to look forward to. Add a second one - call it podcast, even it is not a podcast but hope for the best that some idiot radio station owner gets the sublime message and offers a spot so that we can supply the visual and the sound wave market. And earn good money on the side with youtube :D

    -stage 2: neutralize drama you've created in order to be seen and heard, adjust story to requirments of big media outlets. Find somebody with AAA connections to entertainment and spiritual industry - maybe marry this person as well. Listen to market research. Get professionals involved and tell them a great story to that they work for free and are highly motivated by themselves. Take over europe because america will disappear soon.


  8. Love this non-cast! So many funny parts and so much insight!!! Sheesh, the plagiarism butterfly is just blatant!?!?

    I also agree that she is trying to mold herself into someone who could get noticed by Oprah. Her blogs have dramatically changed from very personal to very vague. But she still LOVES to talk about herself and her trauma and her abusive past. She never wants anyone to forget how special and tender poor amazing Teal is! gag

  9. I look forward to reading your non-casts. I don't actually watch Teal
    as she is so boring now like reruns of a bad TV show. I am interested that this is so.

    It had occurred to me also that Teal is changing her focus more and more to pop psychology. It's like with every hint she picks up from you and wherever, she chameleons into a more suitable costume.

    You may now how much I love your blog and all the people here as I learn so much. no wonder Teal might easily pick up some great info. Too bad she cannot attribute.

    I am still a "fan" of reality creation. i have just read Joe Dispenza's "You are the Placebo" and fractally, what we "be" as body is also "what" we may "be" with the rest of our states.... conscious creators. I still believ this with my whole heart.

    I have been feeling supported by my inner being. In my ramblings I have stated I have a huge unpaid mortgage back log. I used denial because I felt huge resistance and so just tried to ignore it all. The company "magically" just changed my mortgage to keep me as a customer.

    I have a yard sale coming where I will magically change stuff into cash. The magic is that i am releasing resistance to these activities. this lack of resistance was achieved by a miracle through my inner being.

    I have more meaningfully MAGICALLY changed my attitude.

    It came through many nights of talking to my inner being and asking that I be "sane" FOR what life brings me. It worked. BUT I still BELIEVE in the malleability of the reality when we are no longer swamped by our burdens of doubt, hate and fear... I Love Neville Goddard and he made work what I intend to experience...life beyond constant PROBLEMS.

    I have faith in this "maker" Neville describes and that human life is just "states" and that we can change states like putting on clothes. IMO the problem with Teal and all the subpar digestion is that the place we come from within needs to be like that of the maker for this capacity to be available in form.

    Much LOVE to all and may we have mundane magic the rule through radical forgiveness of our inner landscapes. "Jail" is a triggering word as it implies sin and need for punishment. It implies "must serve the full sentence" and karma......

    “Do not judge the problem – rather ask yourself what its
    solution would be. Suppose you were in jail. The solution
    would be to be out of jail, pardoned, and sleeping in your
    own home. So, while still confronted with the problem, and
    lying on your cot in jail, you would close your eyes to the
    cell and feel you are now home, as a free man. Then fall
    asleep allowing the maker of all things to create that which
    will be seen out of that which does not appear.” Neville Goddard

  10. "I am still a 'fan' of reality creation."

    Maggie, I wouldn't call myself a fan, but I do believe that we create reality. I just don't think it's as simple as a lot of the LOA material tells us it is and that we have actually consider more than our own narrow desires on occasion. I think our mental processes are a small part of a larger consciousness process and that we become more effective in the world when we operate from that awareness. To think that our ego wants can shape reality around us is solipsistic. At some point we hit the limit of what such self-referential imposition can do. I also think the gravest danger of much of the LOA material is its relentless focus on "staying positive" as if that were a real thing -- as if there were some objective measure for good and bad in the universe.

    "What is normal for the spider is chaos for the fly" ~ Morticia Addams

    Can you tell I like the Addams Family?

    I'm very glad to hear that the bank restructured your mortgage for you. Best news I've had all day. Funnily, the mortgage issue is one Christina Pratt talks about in her show on The Secret. She talks about how despite her own personal discipline and diligence, the bank was completely screwing her over at that point, because life is not as simple as our own disciplined practices or thoughts. We are all part of a larger process of cocreation. We don't just create our own reality. We create each others' reality. And there are a lot of very selfish people creating a mess right now. As a mystical thinker, my job isn't to simply try to think of the reality I want to create for myself. it's to consider that all those fucked up banksters out there, who have created this massive imbalance, ARE me and I am them. I contain the universe. So whatever little LaVaughn may have wanted, talked about, and dreamed about, the entire universe within me went another way. So my work is to find those shadow people inside of me and love them back into wholeness. Where might we be if more of us remembered that and started dealing with our shadows? Because right now we are living in a massive eruption of the collective shadow.

    I've had similar experiences, btw. In financial matters and other things, but you know it wasn't because of anything I thought or didn't think. Sometimes they happened despite very obsessive fear on my part. It's called grace and it makes me incredibly grateful that I have all this wonderful help from spirit despite the limitations of my own thought process. I've also had the experience of not getting things I focused very clearly on, and then learned to my great amazement that it was a damn good thing i didn't get that thing I wanted because in hindsight it would have been a disaster. Again, grace. There is a part of me that is so much smarter than my tiny, little mind.

    "Sometimes the magic works. Sometimes it doesn't."


  11. "Sheesh, the plagiarism butterfly is just blatant!?!?"

    Lily Dawn, I think the word you're looking for is brazen. My husband also thinks it was a very deliberate FU to me. Her way of saying, See bitch. I can steal your ideas any time I want because I'm FAMOUS and you're a sad, little wannabe trying to ride my glorious coattails. I've stolen from better!

    "I'm smart. You're dumb. I'm big. You're little. I'm right. You're wrong. And there's nothing you can do about it." ~ Matilda


    He could be right. But at some point ya gotta think her relentless theft of other people's intellectual property will catch up with her. The worst part of it is that she doesn't even seem to grasp that she's stealing a lot of conflicting ideas and that, as a result, she contradicts herself all over the place. She doesn't even understand the ideas she's stealing well enough to see that they don't mesh. It's comical.

  12. "btw - with hey house involved, oprah is around the corner. Really interesting to see if O goes Teal. Could Teal be the second in the row after Tolle?

    If only it were that simple, GA. Even with OWN not doing nearly as well as expected and with a lot more time to fill than with her show, Oprah is picky. She picks some bad shit, in my opinion, but she has an incredible instinct -- and good grasp of marketing research -- for what will be hugely popular and make her look good. I wrote a little about the "Oprah Effect" here. Mostly, she picks "safe" and where she's erred, she's extracted her pound of flesh. (See: James Frey)

    You gotta know she's still pissed that she ever let James Arthur Ray onto her sound-stage and there's no easy way to fix it. But he took her good graces and threw a sweat lodge full of dead and maimed people in her face.

    Ray, btw, did exactly the kind of clean-up on himself that teal looks to being doing when it came time to grab the Oprah Ring. He ditched his far more new agey past. He disbanded his Messengers of Light and formed the World Wealth Society. He actually told his people, hey Oprah sees a pic of us in our white robes and it's all over. I posted the deets here.

    So teal would not be the first cuckoo to pluck off all her feathers and try to pass for normal to get on Oprah's list of notables. James Ray's body count so far: 4 that we know of. And teal is a woman who brags about coaching a woman into suicide. The implications are truly horrifying.

  13. Considering that Oprah has a soft spot for Lindsay Lohan, there are good chances that Teal may make it into the club as well. I can't believe that I wrote "hey" house. Very interesting Article about O. Thanks LV.

    "also thinks it was a very deliberate FU to me. Her way of saying, See bitch. I can steal your ideas any time I want because I'm FAMOUS and you're a sad, little wannabe trying to ride my glorious coattails. I've stolen from better!"

    I wouldn't go that far. Teal is THE spiritual leader of the new age, she doesn't bitch around :D... on a more serious note...I can't help it but I think I heard her talking about the butterfly morphosis on one of her interviews. Elena, time to return from Hawaii, I have new job for you!

    I also don't think that Teal suggested the teatime think by sneaking it from the comment section. As far as we know - the comment section of youtube and her blog is a dangerous place for Teal to hang around, kind of like the garlic to the vampire thingy. I really think that Blake or her new-family-guys read and suggested it. Or the lovely Sarbs who spent a lot of time studying Teal's material and comment section before finally guarding her and marrying her. Anyway there is a little chance that our spiritual material hover Teal maybe grabs little bits from her and there to inspire the whole word. As far as her terms & condition go, there is no stealing - only a greatful act of inspiring the fractured, traumatized human race.

  14. btw: And I think that Teal indeed takes some critisism from here on board. Look at the miniatures of her youtube videos over the last 7 month. Only 4 half nacked auditions from 45 videos in total. Thumbs up Teal....compared to : well look further down the line. Or Sarb (I want to squeeze his cheeks so badly hahaha) has a really good influence on his teacher of love and life.

  15. I forgot to mention, that I am 100% sure that most of the funds collected by their "serious" Billboard campaign was used to print their stock of posters, canvas, signed red pyjama autographs during the London "Expo".

    Jan 27, 2014

    "As per usual, there is an enormous learning curve with any new endeavor. The first crowd funding campaign we did accomplished almost nothing. The perks we offered turned out to be almost as expensive to create and provide as the money people were donating. On top of that, one of the people helping with the campaign, offered a perk that wasn’t his to offer due to a copyright someone else had on his work, so we ended up being forced to pay a bunch of money to a third party person for a perk that had already been delivered. In the end, we made too little money in profits to accomplish many of our goals. But having learned our lesson the hard way, we are planning in the near future to start another campaign with the very same aim."


    and I am also 99,9% sure that the few images of billboards in Prague were actually not funded by tealeye whatoever. Not trying to dig out dead things... but I am still pretty annoyed about how they handled the money of others, given for a specific purpose and intention. Time to let some grass grow. I assume there will be a new call in a half year or so. 1 year should be enough for the clouded human mind to forget.

  16. If you ask me to describe Teal with one word:


  17. "Considering that Oprah has a soft spot for Lindsay Lohan, there are good chances that Teal may make it into the club as well."

    I don't know, GA. I think this is pretty different. Lilo isn't a spiritual teacher. She isn't someone Oprah is putting out there because she has a message that she or anyone else thinks would help people. She's one of the industry's favorite whipping boys. Oprah has a very long history of bringing on guests so that she can play the part of the scold and/or be the voice of an incredulous public. For Oprah Lilo is a project. Wouldn't it just be a feather in her cap if she could save this living, breathing cautionary tale from herself?


    "I wouldn't go that far. Teal is THE spiritual leader of the new age, she doesn't bitch around :D"

    Bwahahahaha... Good one!

    "I can't help it but I think I heard her talking about the butterfly morphosis on one of her interviews."

    So you're saying that she was using the life cycle of the butterfly as a metaphor for the dark night of the soul previously? Because that's what I'm talking about. Not simply butterfly as symbol for transformation. That's not new. But if someone else has tied it to the dark night as I did in that post, I haven't seen it. I certainly don't discount the possibility that someone else would have pulled those pieces together. That teal could get there, less so. It's clear from that discussion that she doesn't even really understand the dark night.

    She has a very long history of just happening to claim ideas that sound scarily like other people's. The Abraham/Hicks material, Byron Katie and her bug inspired epiphany, this new emotional processing work that Dava posted about... And she almost never credits anyone. That's not normal or appropriate. I don't know if she thinks that changing the words around makes it not plagiarism but if she does, she's wrong. As a matter of law, she's wrong.

    "Anyway there is a little chance that our spiritual material hover Teal maybe grabs little bits from her and there to inspire the whole word. As far as her terms & condition go, there is no stealing - only a greatful act of inspiring the fractured, traumatized human race."

    Personally, I think she makes a pudding of it. I don't know what's worse, that she steals or that she doesn't even understand what she steals. In essence, I agree that much of this information should just be passed along because it's helpful information. But most of us show enough respect for other people that we cite our sources and talk about the thinkers that inspire us. It's not only respectful to those sources but to people who hear that information and would like to research it more. It allows them to dig deeper into the source material should they choose to do so.

    Speaking of plagiarism, I don't know if you are a fan of Karen Bishop but she posted recently that she was deeply hurt by the theft of a good deal of her intellectual property. People have been reposting her text under different bylines -- selling it even. Disgusting.

  18. Oh, and on the billboard, thing, do you have any way of documenting that? My husband keeps asking about it, too. I wonder when they'll be makin' with all that transparency. Fiscal transparency and billboards! Show me the money!

    And I can't believe she gave out autographed pictures of herself in her lounge wear. See, most people who want to be recognized for their IDEAS sign books, not sexy photos. It's very clear what it is about herself that she's actually promoting. Sex sells. Whatever...


  19. By the by, I finally got 'round to replacing the video of Loreena McKennitt's version of Dark Night of the Soul in that post. I recommend a crying towel.

  20. Hey LV Something exciting here. Look at this little old soul boy : )
    Love it


  21. More of Adam the Crystal Grid Maker

    Energizable Power Bird Crystal Grid

    Web Grid, Removing Darkness

    Diamond Triangle Grid

    Crystal Grid - Created by Seven Year Old

  22. Butterfly:
    Ok I was talking *just* about the butterfly symbol not the connection to the the dark night of the soul. That was the first time she mentioned it ever.

    No I cannot proof it, except you take my guts as a matter of proof :D
    A friend who gave money also never received the "goods in return" listed on the campaign page - only an apology for being so late. This autographed image hangs on the wall of the guy she was interviewing

    Obviously LV it is OUR dirty mind who projects this on her pajama image. Others just see their pure adoration to a great beautiful teacher in red reflected back :D

    Karen Bishop
    Never heard of her. Will look into that.

    Teal is the marriage of Lilo & Tolle. I tell you, there are some gates open. But it will probably end with her not trying to put her abuser in the prison. That approach is just too dangerous for O. Her team will do a good research and her wishy-washy approach to upgrade the penalty system of humanity cannot be grasp, not by oprah and not by Teal herself. It ends there!

  23. "Obviously LV it is OUR dirty mind who projects this on her pajama image. Others just see their pure adoration to a great beautiful teacher in red reflected back :D"

    Adoring photos of spiritual leaders is for cults and totalitarian states. That's where you see that shit. Which means teal is either celebrity, which she's really not, or a cult leader. You do the math. I've just never seen the like. I worked in publishing for years and worked with many new age authors. People who want mementos get their books signed or they get their pictures taken WITH them. They don't get glossy, autographed photos. I have a number of autographed books -- some from authors I worked with, some from authors I've heard speak. I have Brian Weiss's autograph in my copy of Through Time Into Healing because that book was profoundly healing for me. I don't hang a picture of Brian Weiss on my wall. It's his ideas that matter, not his pretty face. Teal is all about image, not ideas.

    "Teal is the marriage of Lilo & Tolle. I tell you, there are some gates open."


    "But it will probably end with her not trying to put her abuser in the prison. That approach is just too dangerous for O. Her team will do a good research and her wishy-washy approach to upgrade the penalty system of humanity cannot be grasp, not by oprah and not by Teal herself. It ends there!"

    I think that's a bridge too far for most reasonable people, but I would think the deal killer might be that teal was designed by an Arcturian panel to be a pretty white girl because so many people find African girls, you know, ugly. Something tells me that would not sit well with Oprah... or again, most reasonable people.

    Karen Bishop: There's a Karen Bishop label in my tag cloud because I've blogged about her stuff from time to time. She keeps appearing and disappearing but she's been writing ascension updates for some years. Her currently active website is on my blogroll, Gama Books. But I think she's shutting that one down, too. I could set my watch by Karen Bishop. Her updates have been a lifesaver. One of my clients emailed me one of her updates, maybe ten years ago. I was blown away. She really has a bead on what is happening for lightworkers, emotionally and physically. She's one of those people who's really helped me connect the dots. I am deeply grateful.

  24. "teal was designed by an Arcturian panel to be a pretty white girl because so many people find African girls, you know, ugly"

    I remember her saying this in one radio interview and in one shadow house episode. Can somebody remember which radio show it was?
    This is not a dealbreaker. O would nail her on the wall for this comment - sure, but not a deal breaker. I stand by it - most poeple will have a hard time with her choice to refuse to give the name of the torture guy who made her suffer, killed many other children etc. It might be true that she had an enlightened moment and is telling her a benificial story about this tragic event (so called: forgivness by her definition) but the general public will not get it.
    ...and ok we heartfully disagree. fine.

    I hope you saw my sarcasm with the pajama comment. A little lilo in there mhhh...

    Bishop's site is off, indeed.

  25. GA, I've posted that interview in this blog and in the previous one. It's a lose, lose. Not only is it racist and lookist [major fail], but it's predicated on the idea that she was "projected forth" by an Arcturian panel. The starseed thing is not mainstream, self-help material. And this is worse because she's rendered starseed as a hateful and elitist concept.

    I did not know she'd talked about this on Shadow House as well. I'm sure that's gone down the memory hole with her infamous racist rant among other things. There are limitations to just how much of her shadow she wants out there in the public sphere aren't there.

    "O would nail her on the wall for this comment - sure, but not a deal breaker."

    Talk show hosts don't interview self-help authors for the purpose of nailing them to the wall. That would be a different kind of interview entirely and not the kind teal would want. It's fawning admiration or nothing with this woman. She doesn't like having her feet held to the fire. If these blog posts of mine have demonstrated anything it's that.

    When O holds someone's feet to the fire, it's because they're already famous, sometimes by her own hand, and have turned out to have major character flaws (See: Frey). When she has self-help authors on, it's because she thinks their work is valuable. Miss girl brings nothing new to that table except the cray-cray.

    I'm not saying it's impossible, but I know from personal experience how hard it is to get Oprah's nod. Granted, that was when she had a hugely popular talk show on a major network. OWN has been disappointing on many levels but I still don't think she's that desperate.

    Anyway, to get any sort of mainstream media attention she's going to have to do some cleanup and it's starting. More of her old content will disappear. Count on it.

    The popularity of self-help is on the decline anyway. Too much of it has gone horribly wrong. The self-help and new age authors who are bankable are the already well-established ones -- those who don't have too much litigation pending against them.

    She can't name her abuser for legal reasons. It's bad enough that she's made him very identifiable through description -- a local vet who worked with horses and was friendly with her family. I've gotten emails and phone calls from people in that region who swear they know exactly who he is. This man would be well within his rights to sue her if she made his information public because she has no case against him. There's been no arrest or even a police interview that we know of. He's a private citizen. She's a public figure -- very famous to hear her tell it. When public figures make accusations against private citizens without a scintilla of actual evidence, those private citizens can get awfully litigious.

    I think the larger issue is that she's stated repeatedly that she doesn't want him to face consequences, which means she doesn't make protecting the public from rapists and murderers much of a priority. Compassion is great and all but I still can't figure out why she has so much more compassion for perpetrators than for victims... other than herself, I mean. Self pity she has in abundance.

    "I hope you saw my sarcasm with the pajama comment. A little lilo in there mhhh..."

    I sure did but you raised a good point. Why in the hell are people hanging autographed photos of a new age teacher? It's weird and it's decidedly cultish.

    "Bishop's site is off, indeed."

    No, it's still there. She says she'll be leaving it up as an archive for the time being, which she has done with previous sites as well for a time. The internet is over, says she. And she's right.

  26. Speaking of teal purging her record and changing the narrative, this is unfuckingbelievable.

    I noticed earlier today that she had removed her article on what it means to be a good mother. This must have happened shortly after she, herself, linked to it on her Facebook page. This link no longer works. it redirects to the main page. http://www.thespiritualcatalyst.com/articles/the-secret-to-being-a-good-mother

    So, I resurrected it from cache:

    "There are two main problems with falling into this trap of emulating what we think a mother is "supposed" to be like...
    1. The traditional idea of what a mother should be like is unrealistic and calls for a mother to sacrifice themselves for their children.
    2. Our own mothers who also fell prey to this idealistic role taught us terrible habits.
    Trying to fill the role of what we think a mother "should" be like does not work. And it is also the reason that we have such a negative connotation with motherhood in today's society. In our society today, there is a collective belief that motherhood is when a woman's life ends and her children's' lives begin. This could not be further from the truth. But many of us who are mothers feel like it is true because we allow our whole selves to be lost to the role of mother instead of letting the role of mother be one part of our lives as a whole.

    . . .

    Motherhood can be one of the most fulfilling and rewarding experiences of our lifetime, if we can learn to allow ourselves to be our own, unique kind of mother. And we will all be the mothers we want to be so badly, if we can allow ourselves to prioritize staying in alignment with our own joy before anything else... including our children. Because the secret of truly exceptional mothering is: To prioritize our own joy, is to prioritize theirs."

    You get the idea. Mothers need to take care of their own needs to be good for their children or anybody else. I agree with that. In fact I wrote a whole, very long blog post that addressed those issues. (As an added note of hilarity, I noticed The Giving Tree in teal's list of books on her Facebook page.)

    Why do you think that page was deleted? Anyone? Anyone? What do want to bet that it's because it completely undermines her new message: Imperfect parents, especially mothers, are the root of evil. Now that she's decided that having to get her own juice traumatized her for life, she can't also claim that mothers need to prioritize their own needs.

    to be cont.

  27. cont.

    But it gets so much worse. Now she's posted on the Santa Barbara shooting and just decided that it was all the parents' fault. How does she know that? She doesn't. She doesn't cite a single news source that says anything about the shooter's parents. She posted the video of him explaining in very clear terms his motivation. No girl would fuck him. This she decides is all about him not getting enough love from his mother with ZERO evidence that this is the case. But contradictory facts or lack of supporting facts won't stop teal when she has a narrative she wants to beat people to death with.

    Now, she's actually telling her readers to rescript reality and how:

    "Watch this video and every time he says “girls”, I want you to replace that word with “mom” or “dad”. This will help you to understand exactly the condition that gives rise to this kind of act against humanity. And where do you think he learned punishment from? The answer is from his parents and from society. As long as we still raise our children in an atmosphere of punishment and reward, we will create people who seek to “punish” those who hurt them."

    Oh. My. God.

    If the truth isn't good enough, make something up. Oh wait. No problem. There's no such thing as truth anyway so do whatever the fuck you want and let the consequences be damned.

    What do we actually know about this young man? He was a high functioning Aspy with social problems. Yup. Asperger Syndrome. Obviously his parents' fault.

    Christ. On. A. Crutch.

  28. I have magical powers, I just put it up again :::D


  29. "More clarity came today about why the planned California move did not take place this month as stories arise this morning of another mass shooting, this time where we were planning to move."

    Ok, I'm searching for some logic in this explanation....Is it because Teal & Co are so high vibe, they can't be there when it happened?

    "Watch this video and every time he says “girls”, I want you to replace that word with “mom” or “dad”. This will help you to understand exactly the condition that gives rise to this kind of act against humanity."

    I actually tried that. Here are the results:

    Mom gave her affection and sex and love to other men but never to me...I am still a virgin

    You, Mom, have never been attracted to me...I dunno why you, mom, have never been attracted to me...you throw yourself at all these obnoxious brutes instead of me...(creepy laughing)

    All those moms/dads that I desired so much....

    If I can't have you, mom/dad, I will destroy you...( a very creepy laugh)


    I've never even kissed mom or dad....

  30. LOL!! I was just doing the exact same thing. Here are the results of my mom edited transcription. I took a handful of excerpts, not the whole thing. It's very disturbing.

    "For the last 8 years of my life, ever since I've hit puberty, I've been forced to endure an existence of loneliness, rejection, and unfulfilled desires. All because [mom has] never been attracted to me. [Mom] gave [her] affection and sex and love to other men but never to me."

    "I will punish all of you for it. [he chortles in his... whatever... ] On the day of retribution, I am going to enter the hottest sorority house of UCSB and I will slaughter every single spoiled, stuck-up, blond slut I see inside there. All those [moms] that I've desired so much. They would have all rejected me and looked down upon me as an inferior man. If I ever made a sexual advance towards them, while they throw themselves at these obnoxious brutes."

    "After I've annihilated every single [mom] in the sorority house, I will take to the streets of Ayla Vista and slay every single person I see there. All those popular [parents] who live such lives of hedonistic pleasure while I've had to rot in loneliness for all these years."

    "[Mom], all I've ever wanted was to love you and to loved by you. I wanted a girlfriend. I wanted sex."

    So funny. I wonder how many people have actually tried that. Scarier, how many of minions tried it and thought it made perfect sense?

  31. isla Vista?? Maybe. Sorry. Meant to check that in post. It's Isla Vista, I think. Oh, Cali. How much do I not miss you.

  32. "More clarity came today about why the planned California move did not take place this month as stories arise this morning of another mass shooting, this time where we were planning to move."

    Elena: "Ok, I'm searching for some logic in this explanation....Is it because Teal & Co are so high vibe, they can't be there when it happened?"

    Well she needs to explain to her fans why a spiritual catalyst could have attracted such chaotic moving event. She should have sticked to her own words: " America is going down, we move to Europe." But in all fairness - if St. Barbara was their location, the paths could have been crossed each other, which I guess, is what she was pointing at. St. Barbara needs your help Teal. On a side note: interesting to see Teal getting involved in news stories. As far as I remember, her opinions don't matter because at the end of the day - she is a spiritual teacher

    "Many people want me to use my astral travel capabilities to solve the mystery of what happened to flight 370 and why. I have not responded to that desire for one important reason. Firstly, my theories on what actually happened should not matter. I am a spiritual teacher. And from my perspective, my opinion about what happened will not serve anyone. It does not do any good. "

    I wonder what the difference is between 6 people killed on the street by an lost angel and the disappearance of hundreds of them. Go figure. i am lost.

  33. I don't know why you're confused, GA. Once again, all her concern is for the perpetrator, not the victims. She never seems to give a shit about the people are killed or maimed. It's always the perpetrators.

    No argument, this guy is a sad case, and I'm sure in retrospect, people will realize that they saw some warning signs, but right now we know next to nothing about him. Yet, she's off and running. Hey, he killed people. Obviously he's a tragic victim. Obviously it's is his parents' fault.

  34. All of this is so disturbing.

  35. And, fwiw, GA, I think you're probably right, that this is a good way for her to justify that giant cock-up of an attempted move. I still really want to know how in the hell that happened. Who drives that distance without being absolutely certain that they have a place to move into?

  36. It's horribly disturbing, Elena. Oh my god...

  37. We should re-title her statement on the prague page

    Teal Swan - The spiritual catalyst
    "My job is to help perpetrators all around the world find their happiness"

    Mhhhh - problem solved. But I guess she wouldn't accept my suggestion as in her books the victims should stop victimize themselves and that would be the end of perpetrators on this planet. So to be fair, we rename it to:

    "My job is to help perpetrators And victims all around the world find their happiness"

  38. What does she ever say about victims except that they law of attract their misforttune, while somehow perpetrators don't? If victims get hurt, it's because of their victim consciousness. If criminals commit crimes and end up go to prison, it's somehow everybody's fault but theirs. They are somehow exempt from the wages of law of attraction.

    If I sound angry, it's because I am, and not with you, GA.

  39. I find the twist pretty interesting to turn the perpetrator into the victim and the victim into the perpetrator. It is very true form one point of view and very pervert from another point of view. I hope Teal solves the dilemma. She tells her story in many different ways. One reason why she confuses me constantly. Sometimes she is the poor victim, then the is the victim which turned into her own perpetrator, then we have the story about her bad perpetrator and then there is the story about him being such a victim ... I can go on now forever.

  40. there is only one victim in her world and this is Teal.

  41. ...on a bad day. One a good day most of the time as well.

  42. Oh You sounded grounded and fierce. Now I have to read again :D

  43. Obviously she's a victim, GA. Just look at how abusive she is to people. You can always tell the true victims by how much they hurt others.

  44. Grounded and fierce -- I'll take that.

  45. Elliot Rodger talking about his idyllic childhood and how life was grand until he hit puberty and realized girls didn't like him.


    Sure, it's possible his childhood wasn't as great as he claims, but we don't know that, now do we.

  46. the first discussion forum on the page of a serial killler.

  47. Here's Elliot Rodger's manifesto. It's very long. I don't expect I'll be reading all 141 pages of it, but I've looked over early life and it sounds pretty idyllic. He claims to have loved his childhood. He grew up in the English countryside, close to nature. He played in fields, picked berries, flew kites, traveled with his parents. His mother, btw, gave up her nursing career to be a full-time mom. His grandmother also moved in to help care for him.

    He had minor complaints like the uniform a preschool made him wear and the time his parents wouldn't let him climb a tower with them in Spain, him being a small child and all, and then he got cactus needles in hand that his mother painstakingly removed. So maybe that's what turned him into a mass murderer.

    Nothing about whether or not he was made to get his own juice as a toddler because we all know how traumatizing that can be.

    So, yeah, clearly his loving, doting parents and grandmother turned this boy into a rage-filled murderer. It's so obvious.

  48. I watched some of his videos. He is a beautiful young man, very androgynous, his language was fine, his voice very surpressed and in character. I have no intentions of reading his manifesto but considering your summery he might had it too easy, (unable to deal with challenge), too much attention (unable to deal with lack of it) , too spoilt (where is the excitement) and was unable to deal with his anger.

    To base any analysis only on HIS written manifesto and youtube videos is pointless in my eyes. I saw an unconfirmed article somewhere that he refused to take his medication. he was probably diagnosed with ADHD or BPD etc and the 4 generations on this planet still don't know how to deal with this except poisoning them with pharmaceutical shit. I have a feeling that he is the tragic result of unchallenged, uninspired, misunderstood souls who die as soon as they enter the education system. But it is a wild theory. I hope the parents of the victims get support to deal with their pain, anger and hatred. I remember this very touching video of the father of one of the children slain at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown,


  49. I've read that was diagnosed with Aspergers. Other diagnoses or meds I haven't come across yet. It's entirely possible that he was being ill-served by psychiatrists and big pharma. I don't know. None of us know.

    I don't understand the rush to categorize this and for people to squeeze him into some preconceived narrative before the facts are in. It's stupid. Some bimbette on Fox has somehow come to the conclusion that he was repressing his homosexual tendencies. She bases this on his extreme contempt for all the girls who rejected him. She's decided that means he really resented them for taking all the boys from her. Sure. That makes sense because it's 180 degrees from what he says. And we all know that everyone just says the exact opposite of what they mean. He says his childhood was blissful so it must mean that it was horrible. See how that works?

    Honest to God, what is wrong with these people?

    The danger in these instant narratives is that they stick and they keep people from more genuine analysis, which takes time. Case in point: Columbine. Ask anyone. It's a result of bullying. Those poor boys were bullied by the jocks and they snapped. Except none of that is true. They weren't bullied. They weren't particularly unpopular. They weren't part of any Trenchcoat Mafia, which was a non-violent and long defunct group. They didn't target jocks or anyone in particular. Harris was a psychopath and Klebold suffered from depression. They wanted to make their mark on the world by pulling off a mass murder of epic proportions. They were only partially successful. Those are the stubborn facts.

    "A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes." ~ Mark Twain

  50. "Only In Your Head" dear Elliot

    Listen while you read!
    Right now it's only in your head
    But that might very well be all
    It's gonna take to make it come to pass

    But is that really what you'd like?
    And if not why occupy your mind with it at all?
    Thoughts grow just as easily as grass

    As easily as weed, if you don't want it
    In your garden why plant the seed?
    Why water it? Why tend to it?

    Well, it is all in your hands
    And there is no one but yourself
    That you can blame for all that you create

    Maybe our actions are what counts
    And not all that we might think or feel or say
    But don't they all relate?

    And I know it's easier said than done
    But has there ever been a struggle
    You thought you wouldn't overcome?

    But now, looking back you see it's clear
    Things could have turned out better
    If it wasn't for the fear

    Marketa Irglova


  51. Teal in Prague fever :D

  52. Teal About Self Acceptance, Attraction, Love and Pornography
    That sounds very interesting

  53. Ummm, GA, I'm beginning to wonder if you are secretly hoping to be employed in the advertising department of teal and company.

  54. zigzagbuddha how did you figure that one out. ( ;

  55. FWIW, I've read the entire manifesto of one Elliot Rodger, mass murderer, and some of the other coverage. Nothing in it supports teal's conclusion that his criminal behavior was a result of bad parenting. There are a number of canards floating around and most of them have found their way to the comment section on her blog, along with some things that I think only tealers could make up so completely out of whole cloth.

    Proposition: Elliot Rodger was emotionally abandoned and left to amuse himself with video games and the like. False. His mother left her nursing career when he was born to be a full-time mom. Her mother also moved into the home. He received a great deal of female nurturing. He did not even know what video games were until he was 6 when his father gave him a Nintendo. He did not lose himself in games until he started playing World of Warcraft as an older boy to the fill the gap when other social problems started. Before that he had lots of little friends and play-dates, as well as an active family life.

    He was a very happy child until he hit puberty. Even his parents' divorce when he was 7-8 didn't upset him like his later perceived rejection by girls. His parents handled the divorce well, at least initially. He continued to be actively co-parented and it varied here and there but they seem to have shared custody pretty equally with himself and his sister going back and forth between the two homes on a weekly basis.

    Proposition: He was a spoiled, rich kid. False. He may have been somewhat indulged and wasn't denied much but it was a pretty solidly middle-class life. His parents were never really Hollywood wealthy and their fortunes fell as he got older. His lack of wealth would become a major sticking point for him in his later teens and into adulthood. He blamed his father for being a failure in his career and losing what money he had to a film project that was not successful. He became furious with his mother for not marrying one of her wealthy boyfriends and providing him with the life of wealth and prestige he craved.

    Court documents have recently become available that show that his father reduced and then stopped paying child support because he was in so much debt after his failed film project.

    As per his manifesto, but awaiting independent confirmation, his mother was the more involved parent. His father worked and traveled a great deal. He did not like his father's second wife. She was strict and somewhat punitive. He does not appear to have been physically abused but the step-mother sounds like kind of a bitch. That said, she took on a much more involved parenting role than many second wives do, even trying to take him to her home country for a while as his emotional problems worsened, in hopes that the tempo break might make a difference. It did not go well.

    to be cont.

  56. cont.

    He didn't like staying with his father and step-mother as much as his own mother because there was a "lag" in his getting whatever he wanted. “Mother always got me what I wanted, right when I wanted it. At my mother's house, all of my needs were met with excellent precision.” His grandmother was similarly prescient. “Ah Mah is just like my mother, she always knew what I liked and went out of her way to get it for me.”

    One could even argue that his mother was overly indulgent and that this had some influence on his rather remarkable sense of entitlement as he got older. But it's hard to say in any of this how much was nature and how much was nurture. That there was something very wrong with this kid is undeniable.

    His mother claims in court docs that he was assessed and diagnosed with Asperger's when he was a child. The father claims in those docs that he did not know any of that and that he was having a second assessment done. There is nothing in those docs about the results of that assessment.

    What is nowhere evident in his manifesto is any kind of parental mistreatment that could account for what a deeply disturbed young man he was. And he's unstinting in his complaints and grudges so if there was something there, I think he would have written about it. He was close with his family, particularly his mother, to the bitter end. She was supporting him and very involved. She's the one who found his disturbing videos and reported them to his therapist, which is how he was initially reported to the police... who completely dropped the ball.

    His outrage is entirely directed at pretty, white, blond girls who would not fuck him and the boys that they were willing to fuck. He's contemptuous of blacks, hispanics, and, in one case, and Indian man, for their ability to get the attention of pretty, white, blond girls. His misogyny and racism are spectacular and fairly inexplicable.

    The thing about these rejections is that most of them are in his own mind. He barely spoke to girls. He seemed to expect them to beat a path to his door. Most of his negative social interactions are started by him. He deeply resented other people enjoying each others' company and sometimes viciously attacked them for it, with predictable result.

    This was a young man trapped in his own head. He did not express his concerns outwardly and actively lied to cover them up. Both parents endeavored to get him psychological help but it did not help. He was prescribed antipsychotics at one point and refused to take them. Whether or not he was actually psychotic is unclear. Either way, I gotta come down on the nature side of this question. Something was very wrong. His parents only partially grasped the seriousness of it but they -- particularly his mother -- were actively trying to help him.

  57. LV I love that you read the whole manifesto. Says a lot about you

  58. LOL! I'm not sure that what it says is particularly good. Honestly, it was compelling. Say what you will about this kid. He could write. There are some grammatical and spelling errors here and there but he could express himself quite well on the page. Just not anywhere else apparently. On the page and with weaponry. Those were his primary means of expression at the end. Talking not so much. Ever.

  59. I have to say that this weeks episode was excellent - also a very different side of Teal.

  60. We're gonna have to agree to disagree, GA. I just noticed 45 minutes ago that she posted on this topic, so I had to go ahead and give it the first listen on my own. I think her ability to rescript reality to suit her narrative is EPIC. I read his manifesto, too, and no. No.

  61. Ok, I have to say it was about time for me to stop giving my attention to teal, and this latest teacast is where I draw the line. I am not wasting another minute of my life on that.

  62. I couldn't even MAKE myself open it. Not even to see what she's wearing, hahaha.

  63. You're better off, zigzag. You're better off. It's pretty deeply offensive.

  64. Yeah, I could tell it was trash by the title, no sense cluttering up my mind with it. (I'm really into de-cluttering these days!)

  65. I wish I did the same, zigzag.

    LaVaughn, your in-depth analysis deserves a separate article, not just this comment section.

    From the standpoint, says teal, of someone who understands human psychology, who understands vibration and, most importantly, human connection, "the fact that we are still sitting here trying to blame it on a fact that he is mentally ill is ridiculous. Because by that same count anybody on Earth is mentally ill. If anybody was put into his position, they would end up exactly like that. All it takes is a few conditions for any NORMAL person to end up exactly like that".

    This is fucking excellent.

  66. Gosh what is going on. I really really liked her analysis of the boy. Is this a sign that I am close to explode soon and shoot many people because I felt acknowledged by the profile - scratching the head. I took lately a lot of citronella against midges - maybe the oil does funny stuff with me. I really can't follow your aversion guys !

  67. Elena

    I totally agree with everything beyond "the fact.." except " they would end up exactly like that". Now I obviously ignored the blubber at the beginning. I have already a little button wish deletes any self glorifying expert medal comment by teal about TEAL. Please explain: I am to foggy these days obviously to follow your thoughts???

  68. LOL! No, GA. I really don't think you're about to snap and start killing people. I just think you're seeing this boy through teal's prism. I'm not. I read the document. I watched the videos before they were yanked. She's not presenting an accurate picture.

    Here's my question to you GA. Going by teal's explanation, what do you think caused Elliot Rodger to go on a killing spree? What was the deciding factor?

  69. Ok, maybe we are all fucked up here on Earth to some extend, but to which degree varies considerably. And, really, being put into his position would guarantee you end up a mass murderer?? Even if you are mentally healthy??? Well... then we would have these kinds of things happening everyday, in every city,in every school, all the time....because the majority goes through even worse.

    Take my own brother who lost his mom at 10, was left with a father who ignored him on good days and emotionally abused, punished physically on others...and then there was a wicked step mother after two years and a new brother too...and then he was an awkward teenager who couldn't even speak English in Canada at 14...and was kicked out of the house at 17 for no particular reason other than he was in the way...with no help whatsoever from his father from then on. What becomes of him? He has his own business at 20, buys a nice condo at 23, makes peace with his father eventually, meets love at 27, marries her in a beautiful wedding in Jamaica with all of us present there and pays for it himself....Obviously he still has his wounds and his issues, but he is the guy who wouldn't even hurt a fly. I'd say he was born this way, so kind... We are very different.

    Yes, we do react to the same life challenges very differently for a variety of reasons. One can spend all his life blaming his/her parents, blaming society but not everybody suffers from such delusions and alienation. Not everybody has this overinflated sense of entitlement. Yes, if one is literally born Elliot Rogers, he ends up being Elliot Roger with everything that involves being him.

  70. Elena, you may be right. I may need to go more in depth on her new method, being as it's, by her own admission, 180 degrees out from her old method. This is some really scary shit. Talk about being unqualified.

    My noncast is coming. My husband and I both have crazy schedules this week but we'll pull it together. This was just horrifying.

  71. "Yes, if one is literally born Elliot Rogers, he ends up being Elliot Roger with everything that involves being him."

    LOL!!! Precisely.

    Nature. Nurture. Different circumstances affect different people differently. His comparatively minor challenges do not add up to mass murderer. It's absurd.

  72. Yes, I agree that in this case it was like a "perfect storm" brewing and then exploding ...or when the plane crushes- so many things usually add up all at the same time to create a catastrophe. Yes, as a society, we should take a good look at such cases, and not only Teal understans this, although unlike teal I don't think that his videos and his manifest are so greatly valuable to study the root causes. It is only his scripted rant. It is somewhat useful of course, but, if I continue to use my imperfect plane crush analogy, it's sort of when a black box records only what took place in the cockpit and captain's voice and his interpretation, we need to be provided with records of the aircraft performance and how systems were functioning..What the hell was wrong with the engine? Cs that's what matters too. Which screws were lose in his head from the beginning. No, actually, I do think they are important, but for different reason than teal- now if anyone else would start making and posting such videos, it will be taken seriously. But they also may inspire others...

    Oh, and it is alarming how Teal can relate to this guy. She felt just the same she says. Well, you can see some similarities, e.g. delusions of grandeur. Thank god for horses and for the fact that boys are usually less picky than girls and still give pretty girls attention even if they find them somewhat weird.

    (no mention about the victims again or any way how parents can cope with such senseless deaths of their children, no acknowledgement ...)

    I won't go any further. I should follow zzb example.

    I've stopped watching all the other teal's videos couple months except for these teacasts, because I liked LV's informative, well researched and satirical noncasts and our discussions on various things which followed, but I only listened to the last two before this episode while doing some chores. Teal looked so mean...like zigzagbuddha wrote before, my initial reaction was to turn away and run. And this one is a tipping point. I can't do this anymore. I'd say, Teal with her videos and everything else provides an interesting case for psychiatry.

  73. She looks angry and Sarbdeep seems to be walking on eggshells. It's hard to watch. I agree.

    I keep looking because I think she's dangerous. And people are welcome to disagree but that's why I expend the energy. I thinks she's harmful and potentially much more harmful.

    "Oh, and it is alarming how Teal can relate to this guy. She felt just the same she says."

    We are in lockstep agreement on that.

  74. Don't quit, LaVaughn. People need this. Tealers hate you, because you make so much sense and it threatens their "religion". Those who have their own concerns come here and see they are not alone.

  75. LV said:
    "Nature. Nurture. Different circumstances affect different people differently. His comparatively minor challenges do not add up to mass murderer. It's absurd."

    I agree. It is so sad to me and yet I can almost relate to how crazy our minds can become.

    I looked at the Elliot Rodger massacre as much as I could tolerate and it just made no sense. Then through that episode saw a whole world of men who feel women are the problems. It is a world with jargon I never even knew about and I was surprised. I will have to let it go and pray as I cannot understand it.

    But back to ME (hehe). I intend to stop being crazy.
    This last month has been a face up to extremity and though I am still sure we create reality, all this LOA KIND odf stuff is leading no where "directly" I am now seeing it as encouraging (my) delusions IMO. I cannot remember ever getting so low and so out of step with myself.

    I became very angry after investing time listening in on ANOTHER "spiritual leader" person Matt Kahn setting up "his version" of being selected to enlighten. Suddenly I HIT me with a slap in the face. All these people are making a living with their stories. I have no intention of following that example.

    So far I have no idea what example is "exemplary"? But certainly I now recognize that I have been thinking badly. I was too deeply involved and developed stupid ideas regarding my relationship to "the world". WOW, how many people go and never return from the rabbit "hole of mirrors"? Cont.

  76. So today I want to share that I am pulling myself out of delusion. I have no idea how but I know I will.

    1. I give up the idea that working as an RN contributes anything to the "medical establishment conspiracy" meme. If I work as a nurse, I am working with people who choose allopathic help. I am not in the world to change people's mind but to give accurate doses and "professional" care.

    I think I was in paranoia about something I can jetisson.

    I discovered that I will have to take a refresher couse to be an RN again...so that is cause/effect and I will do this.

    2. I am going to tap my 401 K and pay for the next 3 months of living. I was not aware until I called that I may do that? (Thank God/dess). I will stop thinking about grand schemes and get my house in order.

    3. I am sick of spiritual books and I am giving all this up and concentrate on being sound minded and responsible. I am healthy. I will seek being wise. I will now devote the same amount of attention to living as I did to "writings about living". I will not try to write a novel but live a life.

    I want to share this because 3 months ago I was definitely not mentally where I am now. I am SURE that my inner being is helping me.

    I am sure ALSO that magic happened today when I received a check for $119.00 that is for something my late husband did that now nets a return "to the estate of..."

    That makes almost the $275 needed by Monday to avoid electricity removal (I love electricity). I have 50.00 in coins. I have $120.00 owed me from 2 people. I also have no urge to buy $8.00 of American spirit loose tobacco (though I am a tobacco smoker...no addiction) and enough animal food for a week and food in the freezer. I have never tested the reality of tobacco addiction or let the funds get this close.

    Is that not miraculous!!

    I also believe my inner being magically has intervened to help me lose my addiction to Teal and all new age which looks now very underwhelming. I have hundred of books that I bought over the last 20 years about all this stuff.

    I actually feel I have had a massive turn around. LV and company has conspired with my inner being to help me. Teal helped me too as I have NO intention of spending even 5 minutes on her now or anyone but my inner being and a healthy life (including work and relationships).

    So, There is magic. There are miracles. I am in the darkest self created hour and see a light coming on and it is sanity. Self LOVE exists as very ordinary reality !! Maggie

  77. Wow Maggie:-))) All the best to you!!

    If anyone's bored, try watching this british movie. Came across two days ago and...well I do need my detox cs I see teal everywhere, haha. Catherine zeta-jones as teal. Wasn't bad.


  78. Oh wow, Elena. Great find. I love Thomas Hardy and that's not one I've read. I should watch that.

  79. Maggie, we've all been there. Long term, disillusionment is a beautiful thing.

    "I looked at the Elliot Rodger massacre as much as I could tolerate and it just made no sense. Then through that episode saw a whole world of men who feel women are the problems. It is a world with jargon I never even knew about and I was surprised."

    I take it you were unaware of the masculinist movement. Sadly, I was familiar. It's a whole lotta hate and finally some of these groups are being classified as the hate groups they are. Substitute the word black for woman or feminist and it's abundantly clear. Some of these guys are TERRIFYING. And sometimes they kill. And this one did.

  80. I like him too and I haven't read this one either. Worth watching.

    A line from the movie:

    "The truth cleverly told is the biggest lie of all."

  81. Shoot, I'm still not over that teacast.

    Blaming the nannies....Teal who herself admits to not spending enough time with her son ( think it's just one day per week that is dedicated to him) due to her growing fame and "career". She says how harmful for the child to form these temporary attachments, yet in his 4 years of life how many such attachments Winter has formed? Her men come and go...her housemates too...Winter spends lots of time with his grandparents, but now she plans to move away...What about his real dad? And he is probably very attached to Blake, so Blake should stay by their side and not go anywhere now, or bad things might happen...

  82. Some people treat the 'law of attraction' like it was some newfangled theory that is sorely in need of refuting. Refute away if it makes you happy, but personally I have known that the universe responds to my thoughts and feelings for a long time. (Granted, I took a lot of psychedelic drugs as a teenager.)

    But it's a fact that when I am feeling miserable, practically everything I see or hear or think just makes me feel more miserable, everything I touch seems to wilt and die, I lose any game I play and everything is a struggle.

    When I am feeling good I can't lose and even if I do it doesn't matter, everything I touch flourishes and grows, and the world looks wonderfully enticing and full of mystery! I love conducting experiments with it, and I have discovered that I can use my focus to control my feelings. If I don't want to feel like shit warmed over, then I don't include warmed over shit in my mental, emotional or physical diet.

    And if I ever found myself in a rabbit hole of mirrors and couldn't find my way out, I would just sit there and meditate on love. Being able to find the seed of love in any situation or person is, in my opinion, the ultimate 'breadcrumb trail'. That guy you all are buzzing on about was obviously not very good at it. Teal would probably be pretty good at it if she didn't get so distracted by all her navel-gazing and manipulating. And if she wasn't so addicted to pain and suffering.

  83. Wow, Maggie, I am so happy for you! Watching my sister go through something very similiar recently was pretty amazing. She quit her job, left her husband and thought everything she wanted would manifest. She spend nearly all her time watching Teal videos and other new age teachers on Youtube and Facebook. She became more and more broke, depressed, and frustrated that things were not falling into place for her. I tried to tell her that my thoughts on the LOA were that when you want something you move towards that, or take steps towards making it happen. You dont sit at home in front of your computer and expect someone to knock at your door with great news that you have just been given the life/career you always wanted. My sister wasnt listening to me then because she sees me as a cynic who has no interest in spiritual growth. Which is not true, I just dont look for growth in the same way she does.

    Anyhow, my sister hit rock bottom and suddenly was hit with this realization that all she had that she had given up, she missed! She has been lucky, to get her life back. She no longer has any interest in Teal or others like her.

  84. Maggie - you sound wonderful!

    After celestial-reflection-choir-disillusionment. Elena's unusual anger and LV I went back to the video with T & S to look for clues that took me on a good ride. Teal had a kind of urgency and loudness and aggressivness about her by telling the psychological assesment of Elliot - which is in fact another version of Teal - gone wrong. This was literally Teal out of character (catalysts) andTeal in character of Mary Bosworth. What touched me was the connections she made, following her own logic and telling a fitting story and seeing her relieve at the same time and excitement and relaxation-because-of-proof. I mean she didn't talk with this really strange soft AND aggressive, structured voice. She was all over the place, like a loud thinking process, as if Elliot's story prooved her point of "xxxx" (still trying to figure this out LV).

    NOW more obvious to me, she excused the killer because of unchangable dynamics in his poor life.

    I still see her drivenness to proof a certain point ("xxx") to the masses of fans alll over the world.Is Elliot's Analyses her way of finding relieve about not locking up her perpetrator in front of a largely disagreeing Tealer club (she gets and got a lot of plug from that) and to proof that she is the new mother Tealresa for the biggest problem of humanity - Criminals - which actually aligns with her newest fb message about top new material which will rock the world (and hopefully Oprah or one of the bigger networks -woud make a nice interview isn't it ( ; ).

    I love Sarbdeep's smile 22:50 - so cute - and his sense of fashion is wonderful. he is indeed a fashion catalyst without ever wanting it.

  85. Oh, I think that no one would argue, Zigzag, that when you are feeling good the world looks much better and everything seems easier. And when you are in a crappy state, say even from lack of sleep sometimes, well, life gets so much harder. But the thing is, you cannot stay in the positive all the time. It is next to impossible. These states come and go, naturally, like the tides. It depends on individuals how long those periods last and how how high or low you get. And even if you are thinking happy thoughts, undesirable things still might happen at the same time. I have plenty of examples.

    No one wants shit, but you cannot completely avoid it living here now. It's impossible, no matter how hard you try to stay inside your own happy bubble, or ignore and shelter yourself from what is happening outside. It seeps thru anyway. And then if you start thinking some negative thoughts, and you really believe in LOA, you make yourself feel guilty about that, or you start panicking about all the disease you are causing in your body, which only makes it worse in turn.
    It is nice to escape in your own garden after 50 years of "dark night", of quite a rollercoaster ride of a life and struggles, and make friends with spiders (since "people are mostly idiots" anyway lol) and meditate on love. I'm so glad you are in a happier state now. But is it a solution for everyone, would it work for you 30 years ago?

    I also spend time in nature and smell the flowers and eat healthy and try to fill my life with love and beauty as much as possible....but, I think you realize also how fragile this peace is, so you try to avoid the rest, because with every little irritant or trigger, this magical world backs off to reveal the harsh realities. The minute I leave my comfort zone, it starts to affect little by little at work, in the subway, in the grocery store line, in traffic. Smog, crowds, bad weather, physical discomforts, rudeness, bad news, all these stresses that come from demands of modern life....but even if you escape from it all, you crave something more than just a quiet life. We want to be engaged mentally, physically, intellectually and emotionally. We want to feel excitement, to feel passion, to feel like we contribute, to feel productive. It's hard, very hard to maintain a healthy balance. But life seems truly wonderful when we get it, at least for some time.

  86. Very beautiful Elena - thanks for that!

    "I also spend time in nature and smell the flowers and eat healthy and try to fill my life with love and beauty as much as possible....but, I think you realize also how fragile this peace is, so you try to avoid the rest, because with every little irritant or trigger, this magical world backs off to reveal the harsh realities. The minute I leave my comfort zone, it starts to affect little by little at work, in the subway, in the grocery store line, in traffic. Smog, crowds, bad weather, physical discomforts, rudeness, bad news, all these stresses that come from demands of modern life....but even if you escape from it all, you crave something more than just a quiet life. We want to be engaged mentally, physically, intellectually and emotionally. We want to feel excitement, to feel passion, to feel like we contribute, to feel productive. It's hard, very hard to maintain a healthy balance. But life seems truly wonderful when we get it, at least for some time."

  87. http://31.media.tumblr.com/3245c2d5af8c4991ddaae150469736c6/tumblr_n33qjwdVrx1qciesyo1_500.jpg

    ...and the most beautiful

  88. :-D I'll get out now for some stargazing before going to bed. It's midnight, the sky is clear, moon is not visible...Nite

  89. I just do not like to see people giving up the freedom to create their own reality just because they're depressed or something.

    Everything that I value in my life was once an opportunity that came knocking. Sometimes it took me years to answer the knock because yeah, it is not possible to maintain a totally positive perspective and still be alive.

    But being able to find your way back to that 'sweet spot' using deliberate intention is a valuable skill to have and the more you practice it the easier it gets.

    Would what have worked for me 30 years ago? Creating a garden and meditating on love??? It certainly would have!!! But I wasn't finished suffering yet, hahaha.

    Negative emotions are not something to be avoided they can be great catalysts to change. The reason I got into this gardening project to begin with (even though it was knocking on my door for 3 years while I diligently ignored it) was getting so pissed off that we couldn't enjoy 'al fresco dining' on the patio, or sit out there on a summer evening with a drink tinkling in our hands, enjoying a cool breeze and pleasant conversation because the mosquitoes and flies had laid claim to it.

    I did some research and now I am busy planting, en masse, every plant I could find that has a reputation for repelling fleas, flies and mosquitoes. And thank all that's holy I have a sister that appreciates a lovely garden but doesn't have time to create it because she is too busy. It's also very fortunate that she has plenty of money to spend on it because I am on a pretty limited budget right now, hahaha.

    But of course I'm not saying that everyone should garden and meditate, I'm saying everyone should follow the love in their lives, wherever it leads them. Love led me to the garden, but it might lead somebody else to nursing school or to a different country or whatever.

  90. I too don't like people giving up their own lives and freedom... to follow some leaders, screwing their minds with some pseudo spirituality. And it's so freeing to let go of trying to control your every thought and control your reality, and wanting to mould everything around according to what your mind thinks is the best.

    "being able to find your way back to that 'sweet spot' using deliberate intention is a valuable skill to have and the more you practice it the easier it gets." I agree with this:-)) It gets easier with experience. It takes a good amount of self knowledge (finding out what works for me specifically), and good self-discipline too ( turning off computer and going for a run or cleaning the room).

    Gardening and meditation is beneficial for any age. I really missed our garden back in Ukraine, although at times it felt like a chore and not a play. But ours was pretty big, it wasn't really just gardening, more like a field labor. Hmmm, it's hard to convey exactly what I meant thru these comments. I guess, it takes a certain level of maturity, or wisdom to achieve a sense of contentment and make peace with this world and how things are...

    "Negative emotions are not something to be avoided they can be great catalysts to change." Yes yes yes! I've realized that better changes in my life were the result of these negative emotions, rather than some silly decisions I made when feeling overly high and optimistic. I was being over-confident and didn't have a good grasp of practicalities. Of course, if one gets too low, then the decision-making ability might be impaired greatly.

    So why did you suffer all these years?

    I don't know if it's just love that motivates me to do things. I am going because of so many reasons. And what I loved or liked here just a few months ago now mostly annoys me. What is this love? I am following an elusive mirage it seems at times, and other times everything becomes so clear like spring water in an oasis.

  91. People will do whatever they're gonna do, and as a species we sure seem to have spent a lot of time engaged in a pretty wide spectrum of insane behaviour. I consider it part of our learning curve.

    I used to think it was my job to save the world, but the only thing I could seem to do was cause pain in the world. That caused me a lot of suffering. The day I realized that I was not in control of everything or even anything really, was a very shocking day, but it was also a very freeing day.

    The only thing I have absolute control of is my feelings. If I want to feel sad I think thoughts that make me sad. If I want to feel mad I think thoughts that make me mad. And if I want to feel glad then I think thoughts that make me glad. It's very simple really, but it does take practice.

    I don't engage in that practice for the purpose of molding everything around me to what I think is best, I engage in that practice because feeling good is my favorite activity. It just so happens there are a lot of fringe benefits that go along with it, and pleasant surprises are one of them.

    If you really examine the whole emotional gamut, it becomes pretty clear that there are really only 2 emotions, love and fear and all the others in between are just gradations of one or the other.

    I remember moving into a place once... we were REALLY excited to be moving into it and I said to my son "I even love the sound of the traffic!!" That feeling didn't last too long. In fact, by the time we moved out of that place we were even gladder than when we moved in, hahaha! Who knows why love is here one minute and there the next, the only thing you can do is do your best to keep up :)

  92. I agree with a lot of what you're saying here, zigzag. I do. But I'm just not real big on control. Tried it. It didn't work out. I was watching one of my all time favorite movies the other day with my daughter. Ordinary People:

    I told you, I'd like to be more in


    I told you, so people can quit
    worrying about me.

    Well. I'll tell you something. I'll
    be straight with you, okay? I'm not
    big on control. But it's your

    So to speak.

    So to speak.

    How's Tuesdays... and Fridays?
    Same time.

    Twice... a week?

    Well. Control's a tough nut.

  93. "People will do whatever they're gonna do, and as a species we sure seem to have spent a lot of time engaged in a pretty wide spectrum of insane behaviour. I consider it part of our learning curve."

    I feel as though the insanity must have a purpose or it would be too horrible to bear. I have not slep at all because JUST when I thought I would do one thing, I found the system of the liecensure of nursing is asking vaccinations, insurance and LOTS of time and money to "get back in".

    I was thinking I only really ever loved the being a personal assisting person when a nurse. It's going to take ages to "get right" and since I was a great nurse for 35 years, it strikes me that this is so impersonal and all that I ever hated. The "hate" I feel gave me a back ache and a head full of buzzing thoughts.

    I am resentful and I am feeling a Teal moment.

    Poem to my internal Teal

    A magical baby born every day of the week is no special child
    Magic is born but special is made.

    Ogres hated the magical child
    Stole her, hated her, damaged her innocence good
    Pushed her out said "Don't come back again"
    Left alone to die in wild field and wood
    The ogres could be anyone
    Most likely is a Mom or Dad
    The ones who supposed to love cannot....
    A lineage of ogres brutal and bad.
    It is horrific a a tale to tell
    That one feels alone and unloved and scorned
    In a hellish hole the girl did dwell
    Until meeting an ant, said "I understand!"
    The ant is stepped on right and left
    A million ants carry a million crumbs
    But I am not they and not bereft
    I will stand tall on my own and not succumb

    A high IQ means I can do
    A pretty bod is power shod
    A mythic tale I will employ
    To bring me presents, love and joy

    "I was born to haters and I know
    the path "(itself kicked off with a blow)
    Born in sin, from woman
    "Be special "and up top of the pile
    (climbing usually takes a while)
    One must never doubt that harm was there
    But as Damages are quantified by law
    Categories of wrong balanced by sentences fair
    The world might disbelieve her and what she saw

    The mind of man imagines and the world is born
    "If I was given love I might have sworn
    to uphold love and share its spread
    But I was given hate instead"

  94. Another perspective:


  95. "Much has been written about Elliot Rodger's alleged misogyny. The #YesWeWomen and #YesAllWomen hashtag campaign generated in response to his online manifesto gave a voice to millions of women who are rightfully frustrated about the way our gender continues to be mistreated. As a single mother of a son with mental illness and former Mormon, I know a thing or two about misogyny. But I would respectfully suggest that hatred of women has very little to do with what happened in Santa Barbara. I skimmed through the 141-page rant and was struck by the paranoid delusional nature of this young man's experience. My own son, in a manic rage, has said horrible things that in no way reflect his actual feelings. The real tragedy is that we allowed Elliot Rodger's delusions to become all of our reality."

    Thanks for posting this, Elena. It makes some good points, but this I have to disagree with. I didn't skim his manifesto. I read it and his misogyny was not the subject of erratic outbursts. It was a central preoccupation. I agree that this was a very mentally ill kid and that it was likely a psychotic disorder of some kind but his resentment of women was his defining world view. He had megalomaniacal vision that included taking away women's rights, incarcerating us and starving us to death. He considered women defective. He left an electronic trail on message boards like PUAHate that showed a very long-term and evolving belief in the inferiority of women and the male right to possess the female body. If this was a passing manic rage, so was Hitler's anti-Semitism.

  96. I don't fully agree with some points expressed there as well. But it always helps to hear from someone who has such a direct experience. Have you read this comment left below the article?

    "Thank you Liza for starting this very important conversation. (And hello fellow Boisean!) I agree that much of his manifesto was delusions. But I still think those delusions were rooted in reality. Do most men feel women are animals and should be used only for sexual satisfaction? Thank goodness no. But do we all have misogyny engrained throughout our daily life and beliefs? Absolutely. And so did his delusions. They were elaborate and would be defined by most as over the top, but they also mimicked some very common beliefs about women. So while I completely agree that we are not having the conversations we need to have about mental illness, and that we must act now, I still think hatred for women had a lot to do with this situation." - Megan Egbert, Huffpost blogger

    But would he have such a world view and notions if he was in a happier state and not so ill?

  97. Although I also do realize that you can take a seemingly perfectly healthy human and after some brainwashing and conditioning turn him into a monster. We all have some seeds of madness deep inside and potential to do horrendous acts.

    Humans are way too complex and full of paradoxes.

  98. Frankly, I think the status of women is one of the most important issues raised by this tragedy. I think the whole masculinist movement is deeply warped. I don't think any of them are well but they are an extreme expression of a very ingrained societal view of women. They're a regressive movement that would unwrite many of the advances of feminism, but how many women are willing to even call themselves feminist? Even in the mainstream, the word is demonized. Women today who can only vote, work, carry credit, because other women put their lives on the line for those advances don't want to be identified with women's rights activists.

    Again, if you take out the words women and feminists from a lot of masculinist rhetoric and substitute blacks, there is no arguing that it's hate speech, yet very few people are willing to see it for what it is. And then they blame mothers for damaging these poor boys. Woman is still the nigger of the world.

  99. In Russia it's pretty bad, male chauvinism flourishes unchecked.. And Middle East is another topic, women are still not allowed to drive in Saudi...So many other places exist where it really sucks being a woman.

  100. I have an emergency question:

    You know these fanatic animal rescue persona - the kind of who feel responsible for every messed up animal life and suffer when they don't save an animal and these people are also constantly flooded with animals popping up everywhere? My question is: do they manifest them and do they have an urgent need/desire to feel good with themselves BY saving an animal life? Is this their way of feeling good about themselves? I know - I am not trying to categorize, I want to know why this person gets one dog after the other, 10 cats and so on and at the same time knows that she is getting more and more unflexible with her life by having so many animals (she wishes to be able to go on holiday etc). I don't understand - do they manifest these animals in order to feel good about themselves - is there a possible addiction to stuff the house with rescue animals??

  101. ... and they also think that you are an ignorant idiot for only having one dog and not offering more animals a save home

  102. I don't know any of them, not personally anyway, so can't say much, sorry . Are you manifesting them? ;-)

  103. GH, do you get the new Fargo tv show where you are? It's brilliant. Here's a synopsis of a story one character tells another character:

    "He goes on to tell a tale about a wealthy man who one day realizes there's so much bad in the world that he wants to help. He gives away all his money to cure the world of its ills, but still doesn't feel like he did enough. Next, he gives up a kidney. Still, not enough. Finally, he asks a doctor to take all his usable parts -- liver, heart, corneas -- but the doctor won't assist him in killing himself for others. So the man goes home, writes 'organ donor' on his bathroom wall and slits his wrists in the tub.

    'Only a fool thinks he can solve the world's problems,' the neighbor ends the tale."


    Meanwhile we've got a stray cat basically living on our deck now. Poor thing was a little bag of bones. Someone has to feed her. We can't bring her in, though. We're full up. Don't know quite what to do with her.

  104. this shows wonderfully the both sides of the story. A great dilemma it is as the "foolish" person (from one perspective) is the person who also takes the cat in although there is no room. Or because we can't take the kitten in, we give it to the "I save the world" people who always create room, or divide the room into smaller sections just to be able to save the cat. I guess it comes down to prioritizing. And there is the big bad question: Are you an ignorant person by not trying to save the cats life at all cost?

    I suggest to put some food outside and call the local rescue station to give them a chance to save the cat as this is their mission. And your mission would be to link them both together by not ignoring the a creature in trouble.

    So back to the original question: by you being able to see a cat with needs, is this now part of your creation and therefore you need to act on it - otherwise you are ignorant? And the I-save-the-world people are in a constant loop of being surrounded by creatures who need saving, based on their own self image, concept of self significance and so on?

    I cross sometimes path with animals who need help and I will never ignore them and take them in. It happended only 3 times, cat stayed with me, dove was healed by me and I released her, and took puppy who was close to being put down and she is now my Angel. That's it. Never met another animal in needs. My friend the opposite, they come from all sides of the road, everywhere, overloaded with animals etc. I just find this fascinating and want to understand if it is really her own desire of feeling significant and good about herself by rescuing animals - therefore they pop up everywhere. Not in my life, I would never ignore an animal ever. Why is this?

  105. ... maybe it is because I never had the intention of rescuing animals or being possibly converted into a rescue station at any cost because it is not part of my understanding of abundance and self love?! For her it is the case! She thinks that everybody who doesn't help animals is in fact an asshole and she will make the river flow upwards for it because this is what a good, empathic person does. I hope I am not mumbling too much.

  106. ...and don't you dare and get a puppy of a breeder. No there are enough animals on the planet which need love, go to the local rescue station, and castrate every creature which crosses your path - that is her approach.
    She applies the same approach to human beings (excluding the castration ( ;), there are too many children who need a home. Don't get an own child, you ignorant and selfish person you. sigh*

    What is that?

  107. Rescue obsession - does it exist?

  108. Noncast: Sympathy for the Devil Pt 1

    As discussed upthread, teal has some very strong opinions about the Santa Barbara shooting that took seven lives, including that of shooter Elliot Rodger. I think I've made my views on her resulting blog post clear. In the most recent teacast, she doubles down on her assessment that it's all about bad parenting and childhood trauma. I disagree.

    I'm pleased to say that the tea serving frog lent his adorableness to this one. I'm sadder to say that he offered more than poor Sarbdeep who has been reduced to a nearly superfluous role. He sat through most of this with his hands in his lap, looking like a well-behaved Edwardian schoolboy. When he did try to venture an opinion toward the end, teal completely shot him down. It's particularly sad because he said more of value in those few minutes than she had through the entire thing.

    I agree with teal that we create emotional distance from our own shadow when we treat people like Elliot Rodger as "other." Elliot Rodger's murder/suicide can, I think, be considered an eruption of our collective shadow. I agree that it is an opportunity to learn about ourselves and our society.  I have very different ideas about the what and the how.

    I don't agree that we are currently using mental illness labels as a replacement for calling criminals "evil." And I certainly don't agree that we use terms like Asperger's or Autism Spectrum to explain away monstrous behavior. Too many of us have autistic and mentally ill people in our lives that we don't expect to go on murder sprees. I don't think anyone believes that Rodger's possible autism explains what happened here. There's been a lot of push-back against even the suggestion that it might be a factor. Acknowledging someone's mental illness is quite different to condemning and distancing. In fact, a lot of hardcore law'n'order types think it's just making excuses for criminal behavior if we acknowledge and try to treat mentally ill criminals.

    The manifesto that Elliot Rodger left behind makes for fascinating reading. According to teal it's the "first time we've had a blow by blow" and it will be of huge benefit to psychologists and sociologists. I don't know what she thinks is unique about this document. The fact that it's a cradle to the grave account, maybe? I don't know, off the top of my head, if that's been done before. But there is nothing new about mass murderers leaving manifestos and/or other extensive writings, drawings, and videos explaining themselves. Mass murderers don't, as teal claims, just suddenly snap and start shooting people. Mass murders are planned public acts, strongly motivated. Such actors are making a statement and they tend to want to make their reasons clear. Mass murderers Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold left extensive writings. Cho Seung-Hui sent a "multimedia manifesto" to NBC. The Unabomber left a manifesto. James Egan Holmes sent a notebook to his psychiatrist a month beforehand.

  109. Noncast: Sympathy for the Devil Pt 2

    According to teal, Elliot Rodger laid out very clearly what brought him to the decision to commit a mass murder, but people are rescripting it.

    "You watch people basically take portions out of context and then weave that into a picture that suits their reality," says teal. Then she proceeds to do exactly that.

    She insists Rodger's perspective is the only one that matters if we are to understand what drove him, not that of third party observers. "Leave other people's perspective out of it." Then she ascribes all kinds of things to his mental process that he never stated. In fact most of her deductions are directly contrary to what he said.

    If we are really to take him at his word and consider his perceptions and motivations exclusively, perhaps we should accept his reasoning as he laid it out. Girls didn't want to fuck him. They should have because he was very special. This meant that the world was fundamentally unjust. Pretty, popular girls deserved to be punished for the crime of not fucking him as did those men that girls typically did want to fuck.

    I don't know how he could have been more clear on that. Yet somehow teal does not come to this conclusion and decides that it's his parents' fault.

    According to teal, financial privilege causes attachment disorders because rich kids have nannies, or what she calls, "transient care givers." That outrageous leap aside, Elliot Rodger was not terribly wealthy and nannies did not figure heavily into his life. His parents appear to have been fairly comfortable during his early years, but his father's aristocratic family had lost all their money in the Great Depression, never to reclaim it. His father worked for a living and was never terribly successful.

    What nannies there were seem peripheral. His mother left her nursing career to be a full-time mom and his maternal grandmother moved in with them to help raise him. The first talk of any nanny comes after their move to the US when he was 4. Perhaps his mother felt the need for additional help because her mother stayed in England. He says explicitly that at this point his father was working more and this meant travel.

    "My father’s new directing career was taking off quite well too, and he would go away a lot to direct commercials for prestigious companies, leaving my mother and the nanny to look after me. The only downside of this was my father’s absence from my life. Despite this, I always looked up to him as a powerful and successful man."

    He talks about one nanny moving back to Germany and feeling sad because she was nice. This suggests to me that what we're actually talking about is more likely an au pair than a traditional nanny. That they would bring in au pairs makes more sense given that they weren't all that wealthy.

  110. Noncast: Sympathy for the Devil Pt 3

    Other than that, nannies don't come up much until after his parents' divorce, on the weeks he stayed with his father. He really doesn't seem invested in them. His mother doesn't seem the type to pass her kids off to the nanny so that she could go entertain herself. She sounds from his description like a very devoted mother who enlisted other help to ensure that all her children's day to day needs were met. He also seemed very appropriately "attached" to his parents.

    "My school arranged a camping trip for the entire Fifth Grade class before graduation day. At first I didn’t want to go because I would be away from my parents for five days, something I was never used to. I was afraid I would get too homesick. I never spent more than one night away from my parents. On the rare occasion that they had to go out of town for a few days and left me with a nanny, I would cry at night."

    Those are not the words of a child who is being raised by nannies and not bonding with his primary caregivers. Of course, if you're teal, and every time a child feels frustration or sadness it's a trauma resulting in PTS, such occasions would be life-altering. For the rest of us, not so much.

    It's possible that whatever underlying psychological condition Elliot Rodger had, he couldn't process these things either. The problem with that theory is that he said nothing of the kind. So, again, if we're judging by his perspective, most of the challenges in his early life were more annoyance than trauma. His childhood, overall, was very happy. Life did not go south for him until he hit puberty. He's quite explicit about that.

    He said very little that was negative about his parents, though he did not care for his father's second wife or the way his father deferred to her. He had no complaints about his family previous to his parents' divorce and described an idyllic life up to that point. He was very affected by the divorce as most children of divorce are. It is not what he ascribed his own descent to, however. In fact he seemed to recover from that life change pretty quickly.

    "Despite the initial sadness I felt from my family splitting in half, my new life situation wasn’t all that bad. It was still practically the same life, though I lived with my mother in one house and my father in another.

    My mother’s new house was small and red in color, located up a steep driveway from Topanga Canyon Boulevard. I would call it the 'Red House'. It was the smallest house I’ve lived in at that point. It only had two bedrooms, and I had to share a room with my sister Georgia. We had a bunk-bed, and I slept on the top. I was quite uncomfortable with this change at first, being used to having my own room and living in bigger houses. My mother’s kind and loving nature, however, made up for this, and she turned the household into a fun environment which I enjoyed living in." [emphasis added]

    When he was older, he did actively blame both parents for one thing: their lack of wealth. His father was not terribly successful and blew what assets he had on the making of a film that did not do well. His mother dated and was friendly with some very wealthy men. She did not choose to remarry. He felt that it was her responsibility to marry money and provide him with the kind of wealth that would make even his unfuckable self fuckable. When she still refused to do that he started buying lottery tickets in the desperate hope that he would become fabulously wealthy, get laid, and not have to kill people.

  111. Noncast: Sympathy for the Devil Pt 4

    Somehow teal has come to the conclusion that Rodger's relationship with his family was bad from an early age, which is the exact opposite of what he said. I don't know where she gets that his parents determined that he was "ill" when he was 4 or treated him like he was different. She claims that he was made to feel "ostracized" because of this. He describes his fourth year as very happy. That's when they moved to the US and his mother became pregnant with his sister. The section heading is "A Blissful Beginning Age 0-5" and it all reads like that. Life was a merry adventure.

    There is actually a lot of unclarity about when and how he was determined to be "ill." What diagnosis or diagnoses he received and when is not specified. He doesn't mention it in his manifesto. Recently discovered court documents show that his parents were in disagreement as to any diagnosis. His mother claimed he was diagnosed as a high functioning autistic but these documents don't say when. I suspect it was after his parents separated because his father claimed that he was not aware of any such diagnosis and was in the process of getting him another assessment. A family spokesperson said he'd been seeing therapists almost constantly from the age of 8, but that he was undiagnosable because he wouldn't speak.

    There is some indication of psychosis. I've read some reports of his hearing voices and he was prescribed, according to the manifesto, the anti-psychotic Risperidone. He refused to take it. It's unclear why Dr. Charles Sophy prescribed this drug. Risperidone is prescribed primarily for schizophrenia and bipolar disorder.

    The turning point for Elliot Rodger came, according to teal, when he was kicked out of his father's house. This was when he realized that he was never going to get from his "mother" (father's second wife) the love and female affection he needed.

    "He's not consciously aware that this is his child self that's basically feeling that way," says the woman who claims that his perspective is the only one that matters. But he's not aware of any of it. The only one who seems to be conscious of this is teal. She has it in her head that this was the pivotal rejection that caused him to turn on all women. Here's what he says about this incident:

  112. Noncast: Sympathy for the Devil Pt 5

    "On my last day working for Karl, I decided to stop by at father’s house to have a drink. I was quite parched from the bicycle ride. I entered the house without knocking because I believed I had the right to. As the eldest son, the house should be my house after my father. Soumaya was surprised to see me, and she got angry that I didn’t knock. To teach me a lesson, she ordered me to go back outside and knock. I refused, telling her that she has no right to order me around anymore. I then helped myself to glass of water. Soumaya knocked the glass of water out of my hand and it shattered on the floor. Father clamored angrily up the stairs from his office demanding to know what was going on. The three of us had a heated argument, and of course father took Soumaya’s side. They both kicked me out of the house, telling me that I’m not to return. I felt betrayed and humiliated as I furiously made my way back to mother’s house. At that very moment, I hated both of them, and I wouldn’t see either of them for many months. For those months, my father was dead to me. My mother was all I had left in this bleak world." [emphases added]

    Teal seems determined to write his mother out of the script. She focuses on the new wife -- whom he rarely refers to as a stepmother and mostly called Soumaya -- as if this has become a primary relationship. She ignores that he lived with his biological mother a little more than half the time, going back and forth between his parents' two houses. He also remained close to both his grandmothers, despite their living in England. The months long impasse with his father, for what it's worth, was resolved by his paternal grandmother. While visiting the States, she forced her son and grandson to bury the hatchet.

    Elliot Rodger speaks highly of all the maternal figures in his life except for his father's second wife. He also does not seem interested at any time in getting any kind of affection from her, just angry and frustrated with her restrictions and very different disciplinary style. He in no way sees her as a mother figure. He's seems quite aware of what she is to him.

    "When father’s week came, I felt frustrated because I didn’t have enough cool clothes there, and it took a while for me to get father to find the time to buy some for me. Mother always got me what I wanted, right when I wanted it. At mother’s house, all of my needs were met with excellent precision, whereas at father’s house, there would always be a time delay because father and Soumaya had less time for me, and paid less attention to me." [emphasis mine]

    He has similar praise for his maternal grandmother.

    "When the winter break finally arrived, my grandma Ah Mah came over from England to visit, and she stayed in the fourth bedroom at mother’s house. Ah Mah is just like my mother, she always knew what I liked and went out of her way to get it for me, just to put a smile on my face. She brought with her some of my favorite English chocolates, along with her famous peanut cookies that I loved so much." [emphasis added]

    So, no. An absence of stable, consistent female nurturing within the family was simply not a problem that Elliot Rodger had. Not according to Elliot Rodger.

  113. Noncast: Sympathy for the Devil Pt 6

    Rodger is also quite clear about when the turning point came in his life and it wasn't getting kicked out of his father's house. It was puberty. He first became aware of these issues around the age that some children -- not himself, apparently -- begin the changes of puberty.

    "My ninth year was very interesting, and I went through a lot of changes emotionally and
    intellectually. It was the year in which I matured to a point where I would start observing the world more conscientiously. Before I turned nine, I was living life as a carefree child in a world that I thought was only good and pure. From this point onwards, I would gradually discover more about the world and society. I would face problems and frustrations that I wouldn’t even think about before. My life would still be positive and bright, however, and I would live it to its fullest."

    He began to realize that he was shorter than other children his age and that he was mixed race. He started to obsess on some kind of blond-haired Aryan -- and Southern Californian -- ideal. That he would be judged against others seemed to come as a revelation to him, not as anything that was inculcated in his home life. His parents were supportive of his increasing need to update his appearance with new clothes and even his desire to bleach his hair.

    Both the "attachment disorder" and the lack of "significance," teal seems to be reasoning backwards, based on his behavior and attitude. The causality of the total lack of empathy and grandiosity he very definitely displayed are not accounted for in his personal telling of his life. If his early life was as idyllic as he claims -- and there is no other information currently available that suggests otherwise -- I tend to think they can only really be explained by some form of biologically based mental illness.

    Psychologist Peter Langman, PhD., who authored Why Kids Kill: Inside the Minds of School Shooters, concludes that Rodger displayed both psychopathy and psychosis. He makes a good case based on Rodger's own words -- and he picks out some of the juicy ones. That article can be read here.

  114. Noncast: Sympathy for the Devil Pt 7

    What struck me after reading the manifesto is that for all his talk of the nurturing and joy in his home environment, at no time does Rodger display empathy. His discussion of other people, including family, focuses on three elements: their social status, their physical attributes, and whether they do or don't meet his needs. One of the few times that he refers to Soumaya as his stepmother comes in reference to her success, status and connections.

    "At the same time, my step mother Soumaya was in the process of filming a French reality T.V. series, called Les Vraies Housewives. Her status as a reality T.V. star, coupled with my father’s important association with Gary Ross, enabled us all to attain VIP tickets to the red carpet premiere, including admittance to walk on the red carpet itself, which was actually a black carpet, in a literal sense."

    Conspicuous by its absence is any expression of concern for the needs of others. The closest thing to acknowledgement of another person's welfare had to do with his little half-brother. On one occasion he claimed to have saved the boy from drowning in a swimming pool. He then took full credit for his continued existence. He later expressed some misgiving over the prospect of killing the boy in his planned murder spree. He liked him. Why? Because the small child admired him the way younger siblings do. But when he grokked that the boy would eventually outpace him in height, charm, and success with girls, he slated him for death.

    The other factor teal considers significant in the making of this mass murderer was his exposure to violent media. She claims that because his father was a director "he was on set for some of the most violent films that have been made."

    His father didn't actually have much of a film career. Judging by the manifesto, he directed a lot of commercials. Here is Peter Rodger's IMDB profile. It's not exactly replete with slasher pics. There is nothing in his manifesto about his having been on set. He went to a couple of big premiers -- The Hunger Games and one of the Star Wars movies -- but that's really about it.

    Even if he had been on set for the making of violent films, there is no faster way to demystify the violence of a violent movie than to watch it being made. It's a lot of green screen filming, blood made of corn syrup, and hours of downtime. Leave say, when you see the zombies hanging out around a table eating donuts, it takes the chill right off. (My husband's role as Punk Zombie #1 in Fright House sadly ended up on the cutting room floor.)

  115. Noncast: Sympathy for the Devil Pt 8

    He also played video games. Her outrage over this is vintage teal.

    "He was spending an inordinate amount of time escaping reality into a subset reality where basically it's ah, it's own identity. I can't remember what you call that type of video game..."

    She doesn't know the name of the video game or what kind of video game it is but she'll tell you everything that's wrong with it. Lack of basic knowledge on a subject just won't stop teal from voicing very strong opinions about it.

    He was playing World of Warcraft which is a role-playing game. She seems to have an even larger problem with the role-playing aspect of it than the pretend violence. "If anyone is trying to escape into an alternate persona, they fucking hate their life."

    Of course most children role-play. It's perfectly normal behavior. And many adults also participate in role-playing games, cosplay, and other fantasy activities. With that statement she's damning anyone who ever played Dungeons & Dragons, joined the Society for Creative Anachronism, or dressed up as Yeomen Rand for a Star Trek convention. I think we can safely say that teal has a lot of judgments around "nerd culture." How very loving of her.

    By teal's estimation, that sad-sack Vin Diesel must really hate his life.


    And poor Chris Kluwe plays the same game that Elliot Rodger did. Look at him. He's about a half a man. I know, right? Sad.


    Yet even with all that pathetic WoW fantasy life, he somehow still has time to make the case for the crucial importance of empathy in a functional society. Strange.

    The case for video games causing violence is extremely thin. Studies have had very mixed results but, overall, the data do not support the conclusion that violent media create violent behavior. People with certain predispositions may be particularly drawn to violent fantasy and have those predispositions exacerbated, but the vast majority are not turned violent by playing video games or watching violent material. Mass shootings and the like aside, violence among adolescents is at a 40-year low, even as video games have become ubiquitous.

  116. Noncast: Sympathy for the Devil Pt 9

    So much for teal's piercing insight into what made the Santa Barbara shooter tick. The only thing that's clear from this teacast is that teal is not a psychologist and has no business psychoanalyzing anybody. She lacks the credentials to speak ex cathedra on matters of psychology. She sure as hell has no business diagnosing anyone. "When you have an extreme attachment disorder, which he did," she says. She offers no citations to explain any of her deductions or prodigious use of jargon. She's cobbled together some horrible Frankenstein's monster of psychological terms and theories. Her use of this terminology is idiosyncratic at best. For instance, she keeps saying he had an attachment disorder but also says he wasn't mentally ill. So which is it?

    "From the standpoint of somebody who understands human psychology, from a standpoint of somebody who understands vibration, and from a standpoint of somebody who, most importantly, understands human connection, the fact that we are still sitting here trying to blame it on the fact that he's mentally ill is ridiculous. Because by that same count anybody on Earth is mentally ill. If anybody was put into his position, they would end up exactly like that."

    Of course vast numbers of people have lived through that and far worse and haven't gone on killing sprees. His parents got divorced. He didn't get along with his father's second wife. He thought his father somewhat ineffectual. They had some financial problems. If that were the basic formulation for a mass murderer, they'd be everywhere. The streets would be running red with blood 24/7. Every school would be an abattoir.

    Mostly she just seems to have projected her own issues onto him. That's not shadow work. That's narcissism. Honestly she relates to him a little too much. I think many of us can relate to the pain and complication of divorce, feelings of loneliness, feelings of not fitting in, unrequited love/attraction. Most people experience at least some of these things at some point in their lives. Elaborate fantasies of graphic murder, less so.

    There is something really chilling about teal's gleeful descriptions of her own murder fantasies. Watch Sarbdeep's body language starting around minute 19:00 when she talks about having had "lots of" violent fantasies and that a "large portion" of her life was spent envisioning "really gruesomely murdering people." His breathing speeds up, he adjusts himself in the chair, he reflexively covers his junk with tightly folded hands.

    Watch him again at around minute 34:00 as she implicitly threatens him with violence by directing her fantasy scenario towards him. No subtext there, I'm sure.

    "I mean it's very easy to figure out why anybody would kill somebody. Anybody in his position would do the same damn thing... If I, if I am not gonna get love and connection at all, and so, there's nothing preventing me from hurting you if there's no love and connection. And I want to be significant to you and you keep ignoring me, what is the best way to do it?... I am significant in your life if I kill you. You better believe it. [giggle] I'm significant to the world as well."

    So rejection justifies murder, according to teal. She sounds like a bloody stalker. If I can't have you no one will!

    Sarbs starts doing that nodding thing again: yeah, yeah, yeah. And he presses his fingertips into an uncomfortably tense looking version of the calming mudra. Watch his eyes. At one point he appears to be checking the exit points in the room. He should be.

    My husband was shouting at the screen, "Get out! The call is coming from inside the house!"

  117. Noncast: Sympathy for the Devil Pt 10

    This sequence happens minutes after she's just totally beaten Sarbdeep down for saying things she does not agree with. And they're great things. He has been, from the beginning, trying to expand the discussion past Elliot Rodger to the greater society and he wants to talk about what people can actually do to prevent these things. She has very few ideas on that. Once a child is past age 8, it's all over. You can tinker around the edges, but it's really too late... so we really have to completely remake society. (One assumes that this bleak outlook excludes her magical prisons that will cure prisoners with chanting.)

    Sarbdeep is a pragmatic guy so he's talking about concrete things that people can do to reach at-risk kids. She's not optimistic because do-gooders rarely follow through and that makes it all the worse. But Sarbdeep is talking about things like saying "hello" to kids who look lonely.

    Sarbdeep has the right of it. There are numerous cases of people who've attempted suicide saying that a friendly greeting from a stranger would have stopped them. My husband, as a Marine, has had to take courses on suicide prevention, because it's a major problem in the military right now. That is one of the things they recommend because there are cases of people who've said they were headed to the barracks intending to eat their guns and were stopped by just such simple acts of kindness.

    He also talks about trying to network these kids where possible and put them in touch with activities they might enjoy. The creepy implications of his using expressions like "balls deep" in reference to helping kids aside (he's really picking up her lingo and it's not good),  he's making really constructive suggestions. But teal looks unimpressed through most of it. When he recommends that even a group discussing World of Warcraft may be a place to start, she's disdainful. Her face goes all cockeyed and she squeaks, "Potentially. As a spiritual guide I'd, of course, much rather him to develop relationships that engage him with the rest of the world instead of alternative personas more." Demonstrating once again that she does not remotely understand the gaming world.

    When Sarbdeep continues in that vein, she just abruptly changes the subject. It's ghastly.

  118. Noncast: Sympathy for the Devil Pt 11

    I disagree with nearly everything teal said in this teacast. Much of it is factually wrong and some of it I just don't agree with.

    I don't agree, for instance, that there's no healthy way to express anger. I agree that it can be fairly described as a "cover emotion." One of my first energy healers used to say that anger is a lid over our vulnerable emotions. Sometimes, though, a bandage over a wound ain't such a bad thing, provided you remove it and let the wound air out at some point. Anger is pretty organic. We all experience anger and we have to do something with it. There is no single, pat answer to that. It's situational. For instance, sitting in despair when there are real problems in the world is not necessarily as constructive as the righteous anger that can be channeled into positive change. Anger, "true" emotion or no, can be extremely catalytic. And like any other emotional state must be acknowledged and dealt with. Sometimes it is absolutely true that if we sit with our anger, we discover the vulnerable emotions hiding underneath. But this is not always the case.

    I also don't agree that physical activity is just a distraction from our emotions, anger or any other. Emotions are processed physically and they're anchored in the body which is why we "feel" them. One of the biggest problems with talk therapy is that it doesn't engage the body and clear the cellular memory of those emotional states. There are more and more models of psychotherapy that involve movement and bodywork for that reason.

    Virginia Sandlin calls the body, "the vehicle of completion." So I was taught that everything that isn't resolved at those spiritual, mental, and emotional levels immediately, winds up in the body and has to be cleared from the body. Various forms are exercise are one way to do that. Yoga, for instance can take you right into the heart of repressed emotional states, which is where Pheonix Rising Yoga Therapy comes from.

    I also don't agree that any time you can't "positively focus" it means there's "childhood trauma." So I guess for teal there are two states? Happiness and despair? Gotta tell ya. I think there's lots in between. And I don't see how it furthers a goal of getting people to be present and authentic with a full range of emotional states to say that if they're not being "positive" it's because of "trauma." What if someone just had a shitty day and their boss was being a dick? Or maybe they just got into an argument with their spouse? Should they be feeling "positive" or is that a mirror of childhood trauma they need to face? See, I would just call that life. The feelings might not be comfortable. I would still recommend with sitting with those feelings. But I sure as hell wouldn't call it trauma... because that would be absurd.

  119. Noncast: Sympathy for the Devil Pt 12

    Mostly, I disagree that shadow work requires that we identify with a mass murderer. That's so not the point. Elliot Rodger is not just like the rest of us. He's very different from most of us in some very important ways. But Elliot Roger IS us. He is our reflection. To appreciate that does not mean that we need to intellectually recognize the similarities. There may not be any. Most of us would find that fruitless, because unlike teal, most of us haven't spent a goodly chunk of our time contemplating graphic murder sprees. To focus there only reminds us of how different we are. If we want to appreciate the reflective nature of this reality, there's a very simple exercise that I learned from Virginia. Stop trying to puzzle it out in your mind and ask spirit, "What is the reflection here?"

    What comes up may surprise you. It may be the last thing you ever would have thought of. It may be something you'd completely forgotten. The connection may not even make any logical sense. It may be a very small, even trivial appearing thing, because just because something is reflective doesn't mean it's in the same proportion. But whatever it is, be willing to forgive yourself. Love that part of yourself. Remind that little fragment of self that's been hiding in your shadow that it is part of all that is.

    In fairness some of our shadow pieces may be disturbing, whether or not we've fantasized about being thrill killers. There's a reason we've hidden them from ourselves. But we need to see them for what they are and accept those parts of ourselves, which means doing the opposite of what teal is doing here, which is justifying them. This was not shadow work. It was apologia for a mass murder. Acknowledging our shadow stuff means admitting that some of it really is evil and inexcusable and loving it back into wholeness anyway.

    It is also really disturbing that the way she's justifying the Santa Barbara shooting was to blame Elliot Rodger's parents. Where was all the justificatory rhetoric for them? Are they not reflections of her shadow? She was doing with Rodger exactly what she does with her own toxic behavior -- blame everybody else. It was her parents' fault. It was the hospital's fault. Strangely, she keeps letting her "Mormon Satanist" abuser off the hook because somehow that was the hospital's fault, too.  I just... uh... can't...

    Blaming the Rodger family, especially before all the facts are in, is irresponsible. It's cruel and not just to them but to parents of mentally ill children everywhere who are watching this nightmare play out in the media. Not all mental illness is the result of poor parenting or abuse. Sometimes it's inexplicable. This really sounds, based on what information is currently available, that this is one of those cases. His parents, who are now getting death threats from some of the many people who blame them, have been trying to deal with his mental illness for years.

    “'Elliot has always been troubled and couldn’t express himself,' the source told Radar.

    'His parents did everything they could to help him. It seemed that Elliot suffered from extreme paranoia and heard voices, but it was impossible to properly diagnose because he just wouldn’t talk. Having been prescribed psychiatric medication, Elliot refused to take it.

    'Before moving from L.A. to Santa Barbara, he had been seeing a mental health professional for years, and his parents got a team of doctors for him to continue to see after his move. Their hearts break for the victims and their families.'”

  120. Noncast: Sympathy for the Devil Pt 13

    And, no, I'm not a fan of psych meds either, but sometimes they're necessary. Paranoid psychosis is one of those conditions that really needs to be medicated. Paranoid psychotics can be extremely dangerous to themselves and others. I've seen it.

    This may have been the most grueling tea thing yet. Less than halfway through my husband said they should consider changing the name of their not-podcast to "Hemlock Time with Teal." By the end he was seriously considering the possibility that some media can make you violent. He was having fantasies about rescuing the frog, throwing him in a blue convertible and driving straight into the canyon.

    "Come on, Froggy. Let's keep goin'."

  121. This comment has been removed by the author.

  122. Oh my I really want to read this now but I have things to do grrr lol LaVaughn you have to catch up with her stuff if you haven't.

    Spirituality 2.0 is here! Oh and coming soon the 3.0 lol at least that's what a friend told me. But her 2.0 is on YouTube. Would like to hear your review on that when you have time.

  123. Thank you, that's exceeding expectations stuff!

    Can't say more cs I'm still shaking with laughter, the ending totally cracked me up. Hahahahaha

  124. Anna Joy, I'd like to hear YOUR take on her Spirituality however-many point whatever. I have a limited threshold for how much of her jibber-jabber I can listen to and these teacasts really go over it.

  125. LV - I have like no threshold for watching or listening to Teal which is why I love your reviews! If I try to watch a noncast I am literally embarrased for her and have to look away.

  126. Woah LV,
    I commend you and your wise husband for watching that seemingly nauseating wrap up Teal proclaimed.

    You also gave some information about how energy accumulates in the body and it makes sense.....
    You said:
    "the vehicle of completion." ...... everything that isn't resolved at those spiritual, mental, and emotional levels immediately, winds up in the body and has to be cleared from the body."

    I think you have made a conclusion that paranoid schizophrenia is indicated by the "manifesto" and history you have seen reported...
    Being an ex psych nurse, I wondered about this possibility too. Delusions fixed and lack of empathy....

    "the personality damage seen in schizophrenia attracts descriptions such as shallow affect, lack of empathy, lack of realistic long-term goals, irresponsibility, grandiose self-worth and oversensitivity." http://apt.rcpsych.org/content/12/4/239.full
    In my experience, a seeming "higher functioning " person loses touch with reality (psychosis).

    "The classic features of paranoid schizophrenia are having delusions and hearing things that aren't real.

    With paranoid schizophrenia, your ability to think and function in daily life may be better than with other types of schizophrenia. You may not have as many problems with memory, concentration or dulled emotions." http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/paranoid-schizophrenia/basics/definition/con-20029040

    "About 50 percent of the homicide offenders with schizo- phrenia suffered from the paranoid form." http://schizophreniabulletin.oxfordjournals.org/content/22/1/83.full.pdf

    And did you ever contemplate that Teal may have exactly this same condition? If your husband goes for the frog, I hope he takes Sarbs too. The vibe I am getting from this safe distance is that Teal would be perfect hell to live around and I imagined the glint of knives both verbal and tangible...murder up close and personal.

  127. Just now, when I was going home on the train, "a well-behaved Edwardian schoolboy" line popped in my head as I sat there with my eyes closed. I literally started laughing out loud and then I opened my eyes and saw people staring at me. Oh, that's too funny, I cannot concentrate on anything serious today for some reason.

    Yeah...Spirituality 2.0, I've watched that ( got too curious about 180 degree turn in teal ). Let me guess, Golden A, you saw Teal cry and were very moved...yet another side of her.

    Show must go on.

  128. I think I've just done some clearing thru the body, went crazy shaking to this song lol. I feel great. :-D


  129. Indeed LV, you were right by stating, that i totally followed her perspective. I need to stop this. I think this is the reason why I always get confused. Gift turns into burden and I get confused what is my thought and what is the rest

    I didn't read his left overs so I will not comment on any of that stuff other than this: you included his writing, feedback from his parents, other opinions and your own and this is the base for a very grounded and rich responds to Teal's personal life story covered up by the name Elliot - although she is not shooting people by now, isn't she?!

    I just love your humor.

    "He sat through most of this with his hands in his lap, looking like a well-behaved Edwardian schoolboy. "

    thanks for giving it a name hahahha - I just couldn't put my finger on it

    "Leave say, when you see the zombies hanging out around a table eating donuts, it takes the chill right off."
    hahhahaha, you are sharp like a knife and funny like onion rings hahah

    "expressions like "balls deep" in reference to helping kids aside (he's really picking up her lingo and it's not good)"
    yes he is loosing the elegance of his language slooooowwwly. At least the clothing stays the same. But, you know, that happens if you are listening 23 hours a day and only speak for one hour. You know, Sarbdeep is a gentleman and it is so rare to see, I enjoy every minute of it in the reality tv video show with an ugly frog.

    "So I guess for teal there are two states? Happiness and despair?"
    this would explain her newest video about Spiri 2.0 which is SCARYYYY to the teeth. You know, I think Teal should change her name from "the spiritual catalyst" to "the spiritual inhibitor". Her spirituality 2.0 (mhhh I think I read that somewhere else here hahahha) will just beautifully go hand in hand with her book :"how to love yourself".

    "This was not shadow work. It was apologia for a mass murder. "
    to be even more precise: it was apologia for her very own perpetrator as part of her own desperate try to acknowledge her own standpoint in her own wildly enlightenment-experience-forgivness-process to the rest of the world - her fans, her followers, her catalyzed audience and to herself, more importantly. The danger about Teal, the spiritual catalytic inhibitor is that the line between clear inspiring knowledge and methods mixes invisibly (except you are sharp like a knife) with bullshit concepts, which you can excuse with most annoying 3 phrases;
    1.- the gentle smack: "there are many truth out there"
    2.- the loving hammer: " I am your own fucking reflexion"
    3.- the final mind fuck: " fine tuning and upgrading teachings with a 360 swing"

    And if this is not enough, you come with the killer phrase:

    4.- the final kill: "ah it's not that simple, life is a paradox."



    I am still wondering why I didn't read a quote or blog by Teal by now, pointing out, that mass murderer are more authentic human beings than peaceful people because they have no resistance to the always present darkest side of humanity, they acknowledge our ever present evil phantasies and act it out instead of supressing them as all the peaceful, humbled fakery egos out there do.

    I come more and more to the conclusion that Teal's job on earth can be called "confusing people into the unnamable 3.0". I wished that would have been her plan but I am afraid that she is just taking a bunch of followers onto her own road of confusion.

    Further more I come….


  130. ….Further more I come the the conclusion that Elliot and Teal have more in common than I expected to be. He is her perfect alibi for her victim status towards society and stuuuuuupid parents and her mirror of truth that killing people in your mind is a proven fact for screwed babies till the age of 8.

    I also come to the conclusion that by following THE spiritual catalyst, we in fact observing a person's individual trauma therapy, the constantly changing perspectives and frenetically changing emotional states on a public scale. Too bad, if you take it all into your heart. At the same time she indeed is THE spiritual catalyst for motivating people to question everything what a spiritual catalyst is saying with all the self confidence of three galaxies.

    One way or the other - Teal is surely a brilliant teacher and you decide for what ( :


    I do see that nobody bothers to deal with my *desperate* animal rescue question. It must flood you guys with boredom and I just would like to state, that I personally am not interested anymore in indulging into the random activities of my bored mind of last week. Thanks :D

    I would be very tempted to hear your thoughts about the ground breaking new concept of Spirituality 2.0 I am in a state of speechlessness, desperate attempts of making sense out of it and just following my thought that this lady is somehow either a misunderstood genius or totally screwed. I still can't make up my mind. It changes constantly, so does her message(s).

  131. on a side note:
    I like my weekly dose of carbs

    and on another side note:
    I notice a new desire in me, to see a picture of real LV, considering that I am a visual Junkie/Artist. Why don't you order a Sari from ebay, rename your channel "The Celestial Reflector" and add a Donation button at the top. More people would read your entertaining and thought FULL "Noncasts" :D

  132. STUPID auto correct.
    I like my weekly dose of carbs and sarbs hahahaha

  133. Compliment of the week goes to:
    Mr Camera & Lighting Blake. Good job. Teal looked stunning even when she was crying. Why was she crying?

    Boo boo of the week goes to
    Mr. Greenscreen & After effects Blake. Next time you pick a background,make sure that the loop lines up. It drove me really nuts - or was this your plan? ( ;

    I hope ZZB will not contemplate about my newest attempt of getting their attention to land a role in the show - I am trying my best.

  134. I think that's the real photo, GA. I had a dream couple of nights ago where I held a beautiful portrait of LaVaughn in my hands, standing full length, wearing a beautiful white gown, in the mystical garden. I woke up right after. There was another figure next to her too, but that was blurry.

  135. Me2Yesu:" If your husband goes for the frog, I hope he takes Sarbs too. The vibe I am getting from this safe distance is that Teal would be perfect hell to live around and I imagined the glint of knives both verbal and tangible...murder up close and personal."

    I am sorry Maggie but I have to tell you that they are still in sex heaven. That will make up for any inconvenient stress behavoir during the day till day x.

    "And did you ever contemplate that Teal may have exactly this same condition?"

    that would explain her very different way of talking in this episode and her dedication to understand and verify his conclusions, reasoning and decisions by using her own self perception. Alibi.
    I also remember that I still had this urgent search in me to understand the *vibe of an ice queen* which I got from her since day one. Maybe this is the lack of empathy. And when she says that she doesn't want to hurt people or wants to make them all happy...she in fact is talking about the "pleasing hard core programming" and an overwhelming feeling of guilt and shame which she certainly received/ concluded during her younger years.

    Maggie tell me your trick:
    how to throw all the books in the corner and stop trying to figure it out? Your message and approach sounded wonderful.

  136. Elena, I think you were listing to much to the unforgettable "Songs from a secret garden" cds :D

  137. http://search.4shared.com/q/CCAD/1/songs%20from%20a%20secret%20garden?suggested

  138. Ok I asked a friend of a friend in a black suit and this is what he came up with.

    LV if this is you, you are not only sharp but also beautiful ( :

  139. See, that wasn't cs of that music which I haven't been listening to:-)

  140. GA and all,
    I have really turned a corner and I have no idea how it happened except it is a miracle. I made business card from vista print, obtained a domain name and made a website for a "personal assistance" business (non-medical) over the weekend.

    I just look at all my books and video searches from before looking for "spiritual guidance"and everything I have been focused on is something that no longer feeds me.

    It's as if I was stuck in the mud and now I am on dry land. I am so grateful.

    I still am looking at some things like this Fred Allen Wolf video on "Shamanic Physics". That is instead of a movie tonight.


    Looking forward to going to a workshop by Joe Dispenza at the end of June, I plan to be a coach when he develops the program.

    I will still read the comments and LV's blog but no more Teal videos for me or "how to be spiritual". I feel the focus is on NOW living in a body on this beautiful planet.

    There are a thousand fireflies lighting up my backyard and a box turtle laying an egg on my mowed path to the woods. Love is all around.

    As far as Teal goes, I still say call her out until she stops trying to influence anyone else. I am at the moment inclined to imagine she will not prosecute her "perpetrator" because she MAY have made it up? A fixed delusion system?

  141. "If I try to watch a noncast I am literally embarrased for her and have to look away."

    Lily Dawn, I know just what you mean. It's cringetastic. Painful. Just painful.

  142. "I think you have made a conclusion that paranoid schizophrenia is indicated by the "manifesto" and history you have seen reported..."

    I haven't concluded anything but it looks like his psychiatrist did. He prescribed Risperidone which is an anti-psychotic. A lot about his writing suggested paranoid schizophrenia to me -- like the fact that all this elaborate shit was going on his head and admittedly he hadn't spoken to any of his so-called antagonists.

    Dr. Langman suggests the it could be comorbid: psychosis and psycopathy. I've never heard of that but you can see where he got it. But, yeah, you're right. That total lack of empathy could be explained by paranoid schizophrenia.

    What a living hell for his parents. It can really be hell on a family. There's just so little they can do. Such powerlessness.

    I don't know about teal. Borderline is what she's apparently claimed and, from what I know of BPD, it really fits. Including this whacky emotional processing jag she's on. To someone who's BPD, small emotional upsets can become big emotional upsets very quickly. Prolonged emotional dysphoria: sound like anyone you know?

  143. ...but am listening now and it's wonderful, thank you, Golden Angel, for sharing.
    I've been catching up on some links from the noncast and now I imagine my dreams would be filled with this music in a secret garden...and with a guy like Chris Kluwe waiting there for some video games playing lol. http://youtu.be/0BpjfuY7Pg0
    Or, maybe, enjoying a get-together in Maggie's backyard, it sounds so lovely( fireflies, turtles, fairies from the woods!). As long as there is no teal, appearing suddenly, turning it into a nightmare. I wonder now if she fantasizes about getting rid of all of her "haters"...LV, you with your articles seriously threatening her career growth, might be #1 target.

  144. "I am still wondering why I didn't read a quote or blog by Teal by now, pointing out, that mass murderer are more authentic human beings than peaceful people because they have no resistance to the always present darkest side of humanity, they acknowledge our ever present evil phantasies and act it out instead of supressing them as all the peaceful, humbled fakery egos out there do."

    Bwahahahaha.. You nailed it GA. What's next? A FOX spinoff of The Following -- The Tealers!

    Oh, and yes, the photo appropriately placed on my bio is, of course, me.

    Oh, and one more thing: Your pet collector. I don't know GA. I'm sure your neighbor's doing what they deem best. It's the judgment thing that would annoy me. As long as you're not killing puppies in your basement lab, you're fine? You're not being cruel to animals. Not everyone wants to bite off more than they chew. It tends to cause to resentment. Look up codpendent control freak and see what you come up with.

  145. Elena, Chris Kluwe. I know. Is he GORGEOUS?!! Oh my stars.

    And you're right. It just got a little scarier being, you know, "anti-teal" as she calls it.

  146. Well, at least you've got a black belted Marine in your household ( that should cover for both teal and chris ;-) Not only you drive your husband crazy making him watch teal videos instead of working on his 3rd Ph.D., he should also be on guard now, just in case. Yes, GA, teal is not shooting people, not with bullets anyway, but remember one of her boyfriends in highschool who beat up another guy for her? And Fallon saying in his comment under LV's first article : "I would have done anything for Teal, even killed for her. And that fact is helping me to see how unhealthy and scary my devotion was. I have always been the nice guy. I am very shy and scared. I am not tough or mean. But after living in that house with everyone there I did get mean."

    And Sarbdeep the gentleman apparently lost his composure according to a very distressed comment left by Amber Schmitz yesterday (now removed) with a link included to her teal tribe chat on facebook, where Sarbdeep told her to "shut the f*** up" after she asked a question, trying to clarify smth related to LaVaughn's article and teal's claims. And she was removed from the group too, after being an active member and following teal closely for a year, she stated. Has anyone seen that comment, I wonder why it was removed later? Amber sounded quite upset with them.

  147. I'm rereading some of these comments and... oh my god, GA... you are fucking cracking me up. Funny like onion rings... where do you come up with this shit?!

  148. LV: handmade and authentically produced by a german sense of logic. Say it as it is ha

    Elena: Songs from a secret garden should be given out by all criminal doctors. It would chill out some very dangerous, damaged human beings before the age of 8. Thanks god you are listening to it now. So I can cross you from the list of dangerous suppressed human beings
    ( ;

    LV: "Oh, and one more thing: Your pet collector"
    Gosh, thanks. You just healed my upset thought process.

    Side note:

    Book recommendation : ( ;
    "Look Who’s Back" by Timur Vermes

    ...Look Who’s Back has a pretty astounding premise: Adolf Hitler wakes up in Berlin in 2011 to find the Fatherland unrecognisable and, despite many technological advances, decidedly inferior to the one he recalls. Unable to convince anyone that he is anything other than a flawlessly convincing impersonator, he becomes a YouTube sensation, ends up with his own TV chatshow – in fact everything’s changed but his political agenda.

    This is one of the most original, outrageous and hysterically funny things I’ve ever read. There is more than a touch of genius about it.....http://isabelcostelloliterarysofa.com/2014/04/04/book-review-look-whos-back-by-timur-vermes/

  149. Oh no! That looks like it could be hilarious! But why is the Kindle version $15. WTF?

    Put me in mind of:


  150. Now, that Teal announced that she will be part of the Hay House Summit tomorrow, I will ignore Maggie's retreat and will go an snort some other spiritual teacher powder. I just can't get enough, can I.


    PS : there is just nothing better than the guys from Monty Python. :D

  151. I just realized that I need to upgrade my Hay house submission to 2.0 in order to hear Teal Swan tomorrow. You know there is a reason why I refuse to get an iPhone - Elite Upgrade hell.

  152. Hi Elena, just saw your comment. Went to http://www.tealtribe.com and it seems to be offline for some magical reasons. Probably for a proper LV clean ( ;

    In regards to Mr Sarbs - he is her husband, her friend, her student, her patient, her bodyguard, her experiment, her admirer and her hooked male who is triggered to PROTEEEEECT the tender flower. No wonder he will use his recently (potfrogcast) often used word "fuck" this, what the "fuck", "fuck" off, "fuck" you....swearing has crawled into his elegant system. I wonder where or from who this transmission came from :D

    PS: I didn't bother to pay 7 dollars to listen to tealish torture stories again, did anybody invested?

  153. That he drops the occasional f-bomb doesn't bother me. I've been known to do that myself on occasion. (aherm) Telling someone to STFU for asking a question, not so good. I just want him, for the love of God, to stop calling everything super whatever. I noticed even some of teal's fans have started calling her on this because it makes her sound juvenile.

    Good list, but you skipped one: her enabler.

  154. I don't mind *fuck* as well - it is indeed a great release. I just noticed that he never said it in the first few episodes, same as *super*.

    ok another addition: her groupie and her-enabler-to-feel-like-a-super-star: a new version because Kevin Costner did indeed board the plane and they flew of into the sunset. And who the fuck needs a bodyguard except Very important People.

    Teal does everything on purpose. EVERYTHING. Very self concious in regards to body parts movements, words, twirls and eyefocus. She is not a flower, she is a dominatrix machine - just saying. Her vibe can't be missed, not even by the blindest on this earth - ah well.
    Putting this to the side, she is also preeety like a flower. So, dear LV, let me tell you, SUPER is not a strange tick but a subtile approach to the younger audience, which in fact is her core audience. Teal uses words, which I never heard in my life and has the gift of explaining concept crystal clear, stupid and ancient, brilliant concepts of course ( : I doubt, that *Super* is a hick up in her system although I agree that it makes her sound like a overly wise teenager with "One Direction" Poster on the wall.

  155. I thought she was just practicing for when she becomes a Cyeahlifornian. Needs work. I don't think dialects are her metier but it's a start.


  156. http://www.sott.net/article/249840-From-Internet-Troll-to-Psychopathy-Expert-The-Con-Artistry-of-Thomas-Sheridan

  157. Yeah, nomad, I don't even think he addresses sociopathy. Some clinicians draw a distinction, some don't, but the trend is against. Psycopaths are born, sociopaths made, to dumb it down.

    I'm familiar with Sheridan. I think his approach is simplistic and unschooled. Not everyone who does horrible things is a psychopath, even in politics. Though I think there's a strong case for Dick Cheney.

    "US justice system is considering acceptance of biological evidence that someone is a genetic psychopath in court with a view to using it to mitigate the sentences of criminal offenders."

    I've heard rumblings about this. It's crazy. Ironically, this is the opposite of Hare's intent in creating the psychopathy checklist and testing convicts. He thinks that should be an argument to keep them locked up longer. Considering that they recidivate at much higher levels -- around 60% -- that sure does seem reasonable. Craziness. They were born with a predisposition to crime. They can't help it. Let them go commit more crimes. Craziness.

  158. @Elena

    I had a full on dream with you last night - dun know why ha
    "they" were chasing you and you tried to hide by getting away on a jet ski during the blue hour in hawaiin waters till you found an old hawaiin woman waiting for you at the beach. It felt like that you know the area really well and all its people. I was the flying camera behind you (a la james bond). mmmhhh how did my brain came up with this.

    the cut and suddenly we are in the dessert, fucking hot everywhere. Marrakesch and heat and thousands of people. we were trying to find the contact person. The only thing we know : he has a beard hahahahah.

    then but again and we are in greenland and we were driving through the icy endless snow desserts on electric snowmachine. We met a contact person, aurora borealis etc. I cant remember what he was saying to us, but we got all info we needed and just tried to get out of the cold again...

    then i woke up.
    I have no idea what this is about.
    ( :
    did you already get paid buddy?
    yes we had loads of adventures and jobs together hahaha

  159. This comment has been removed by the author.

  160. So not in the mood to read the Thomas Sheridan article. sorry.
    At the end of the day we are all our own con artist as long as we are swindled at by our own ego which tries to be more than a helpful tool to our own existence experience in the world of forms and names and individualized perception.

    "Con" is short for "Confidence" ... it means someone who takes advantage of another person by gaining that person's confidence.

  161. ...and Elena, forgot to say:
    you would make an awesome bond girl, a great russian spy.
    My visual brain created a real blockbuster.

  162. Andara, in regards to your "Teal does everything on purpose...." passage...Haha, you are becoming the world's self-appointed expert on the Teal phenomenon (sorry, LaVaughn, but you are just a cynical anti-teal critic aka a "jelly hater" :-P ). So up-to- date with everything, do you have like special searching alerts for anything teal related :-D I think even on your death bed you'll be able to recite, by heart, the highlights of Teal's rise to celebritydom. ;-)

    LV: "I noticed even some of teal's fans have started calling her on this because it makes her sound juvenile."

    They are rare and immediately hushed by others. In order to be heard and understood and related to on all the continents by the growing new age indigo/crystal/starseed/soulfork/light-being generation, spiritual leaders/teachers have to "normalise" their communication style to make themselves more appealing and popular. Gotta use a few more colloquialisms . You know? Like "cool", "random", "chill out", you guys", "devastated", "AMAZING", "sick"...."fucking awesome".

    (I'm aware that my own use of "Lol", emoticons, etc., makes me appear immature lololol :-D oh well, I am. )

  163. Elena and GA,
    That dream is a blockbuster.

    GA said:
    ""Con" is short for "Confidence" ... it means someone who takes advantage of another person by gaining that person's confidence."

    That is so much like what I have been noticing but for a long time I was looking for some "exit" leading somewhere? So I would wonder if someone else had found it?

    If one is looking at the exterior for "confidence" for any reason, then one will be conned . IMO at this point, the collapse into the heart that may be triggered by disillusionment by all the cons, begins a cascade of inner confidence. I have proved to my own satisfaction that I am under grace and will be safe because I AM.

    Our inner being will never let us down and is showing me this case. Inner wisdom will be there for all purposes and IMO is completely without a downside. I am knowing how contraction and lack of passion looked. But I asked for help and insisted my inner being would help me live. Suddenly I felt 100% connected to "help to live".

    It is like when you know you are safe for yourself, that the inner being will bring everything that is "needed" at every moment, one can not be fooled by appearances. All this stuff outside is just a dream. I see I may choose a happy dream in the middle "crack" between two "sides" to every appearance.

    The fears, the fixation on bells and whistles to "do something" and the neediness evaporates by the relationship with ME. This is what I am feeling as if I had been "saved" from the confusion of outward appearances. By loving myself for myself, I will love my life and I seriously believe I am "out of the dark".

    However, I doubt there will only be rainbows and cotton candy. I KNOW that whatever I see in my life, it can change so do not need to "make anything wrong" and fight it. Everything is working in my best interest because I chose to be in life and yet I am NOT this little bitty life style.

    This is so lovely that I want to share the feeling.
    The next phase is unravel, transmute all patterns and tendencies that would prevent me from offering Love.

  164. Elena: "Haha, you are becoming the world's self-appointed expert on the Teal phenomenon"

    No, I just have enough teal in me to recognize it :D

    "So up-to- date with everything,"

    No Teal just gets a click a day. She is in my automatic click program round and hard to delete.

    "I think even on your death bed you'll be able to recite, by heart, the highlights of Teal's rise to celebritydom. ;-)"

    On my deathbed, Teal and I will hopefully marry and I will realize that I was the only spiritual catalyst that ever existed.

  165. I wouldn't be in the mood for Thomas too today (it's gorgeous outside). And yeah, Andara, we know how visual you are and he is no pretty flower, sorry (although not sure about his art, haven't seen any). But someone forwarded me a link with his interview last night (I've never heard of this guy before) and after listening for a few minutes I had to google him...

    Frankly, I'm not in the mood for listening to any of these youtube personalities anymore- fed up with this trend. I just thought the article was well-written and this example shows once again that seeming confidence doesn't equal knowledge.

    As to your dream....Hahahahaha!! It is a blockbuster, alright, and I'll take being a "bond girl" material as a compliment:-). Hmmm, I am leaving Toronto for real soon and will go to Cyprus for some jet skiing and adventures, wanna join? Your brain certainly craves some new exciting experiences to process...If I were your man, I'd start getting a bit concerned....I remember being bored in Bermuda...one day I just packed my things and left. And the desert...well, I'll be visiting the Middle East as well....The contact person could be Michael, he's got a beard hahaha. I'd love to go up north as well for some aurora viewing, snowmobile and dog sledding rides at some point but not just yet...I'm still recovering from the extreme winter we had this year. I was thinking of going to Altai, meet some real shamans, but who knows...My itineraries often end up unpredictable...although there is no way I would immediately turn around and go back to where I started from. The place is rented out already from July and all the furniture sold.

  166. Here's a little person who has it all figured out! Leija's daughter is my new favourite teacher!


    And, the motherhood has indeed changed Leija's outlook. She's deleted most of her Spirituality 101 videos. But instead of going into Spirituality 2.0, it's back to reality for her. Oh, the wonders of motherhood!

    Leija's new perspective:


  167. On a side note:
    Tealtribe.com still down. I wonder if Jared/ Fallon pulled the plug because it was his script as far as I remember.

    me2yesu: indeed blockbuster qualities.

    and we are the only ones who trick themselves. If I go through the list of people who tricked me conciously into something, I have to come to terms with the fact that my own insecurity prioritized another beings call over my own inner voice. Every con artist experience is a great one because it just shows me that I had thrown my own guidance system into the bin... because if you are really accurate you will realize that EVERYTIME there was this not emotional voice telling you to leave the room or not to click or just to ignore...:D

  168. yes Alayna gave birth to a new Leija.Thanks god, she was annoying me a lot before this shift. Enjoyed the link you posted.

    Well your plans sound amazing. I already experienced it. Michael the bearded man hahaha - that fits.

    no my man is not worried, he knows I am straight as it gets but love everything with my eyes. ( ;

  169. "On my deathbed, Teal and I will hopefully marry..."

    Lol, Andara, another reason to get a bit concerned, haha

  170. Oh, ok then. False alarm ;-)

  171. I didn't know who Leija is...but YES, I have deleted whole websites and whole chapters and it would be awful to be held to how we "were". That is actually part IMO of the shift where there are no teachers and only people living a changing malleable life. Labels are s%$^te and I agree with her "It rocks to be human". But on the other hand I think we already ascended to a new earth.....

    Elena, are you moving to Cyprus? I have been there and LOVE Cyprus.

  172. I am going to Cyprus for some time...I'd lived and worked there for 6 months 2 years ago. It is a lovely place. Too bad about island fever I am not vaccinated against.

  173. Are you making a joke Elena about the money situation? Or is there a real thing called "island fever"?

  174. elena"Lol, Andara, another reason to get a bit concerned, haha"

    well i should have expressed myself better. I will marry everybody on my deathbed, hopefully if it goes according to the cosmic plan. :b

  175. Me2yesu, it felt very real to me and some other people I knew, it's like a cabin fever, after some time being stuck on an island you get sick of that lifestyle and feel claustrophobic.

  176. I just watched "Girl interrupted" and lisa reminded me a lot of Teal
    Interestingly enough, I was watching an interview with AJ "inside the actors studio" and got stuck at 02:37 where she is mentioning that her mother studied acting with Lee strasberg and that her mother learned the best parenting advice from him by constantly asking little Angelina, how is she feeling etc. Reminded me a lot of Parenting 2.0 (Teal's newest video ...but not so new at all)


  177. Yes, and Strasberg's "method" puts people in mental wards. It's bloody dangerous. And unnecessary. And it's based on an experimental technique by Stanislovsky that the man himself disavowed.

    One of the things I learned as an acting student is that accessing emotions is fairly straightforward. We only have a handful of them and the keys, for an actor, are somatic. When you open up body memory of emotions, it's pretty easy to leave them on the stage. When you reopen past trauma, it can cause nervous breakdowns. And it only works for film actors. You try that shit on stage, night after night, and you end up with very erratic, unpredictable performances. Emotions are simple. Situations are complex and it's ill-advised to kick open such hornets nests unless you really know what the hell you're doing.

    You don't actually have to reopen memory to heal and clear it from the body either. There are many other methods that don't risk retraumatizing your clients. But those methods don't give the "healer" the keys to your psyche so that they can manipulate and control you so I guess for some people they're just not good enough.

    There are some who claim, quite credibly I think, that Strasberg facilitated Marilyn's decline. She got increasingly unstable and drug addicted in her years under his tutelage. She became grotesquely dependent on him. I don't think he made her mentally ill, but I think he probably exacerbated her illness. She got worse and worse. And then she left him controlling interest in her estate. Sick, sick, sick.

  178. After reading your summery about the Strasberg's "method" and after being impressed once again by your endless knowledge ... I wonder if this is similar to Teal's new manual for 2.0

    Recently I was talking to a friend about it and he (slightly on the depressed sight - longterm) was expressing his worries about opening the tin of worms without having further guidance except to "feel every emotion" that is rotting in there.

    I personally do support the idea not to run and to face but I needed a very important puzzle piece in order to do so: the single experience of opening myself up to a horrendous feeling inside and feeling it convert to something else. It was fast, clean and quick and gave me great motivation and deleted a ton of fear in one go. It also included a realization that I am here to FEEL emotions and act based on their direction. Further more I realized that it is dumb to only let you feel good emotions and to lock everything else away. But only this one experience of seeing a sickening emotion turn into nothingness opened me up to it.

    In general I think it is a very fragile and potentially dangerous approach without further guidance , whenever you hit a dead end which will happen. A method which suggests to face *something* always should include an emergency manual how to press the reset button, especially when you are encouraged to feel it all through and through.

    I think the buddhist had a very interesting approach for being open to any kind of emotion with their practice to take in all the pain of humanity in order to free them. It opens a place in your heart AND mind to allow this emotion flow through you and it highly motivates you to go through it because it is driven by the benevolent wish and compassion to do so to better things, circumsdances and people.

    ho'oponopono takes a similar approach to take away your own judgment and rejection towards any kind of emotions and creations (experiences) as it acknowledges you as the creator and includes an authentic "feeling process" and an forgiveness process.

    Both methods are similar to go into any kind of emotion, feel it, convert it. The big difference is, that it includes a motivational "frame" and structured process based on the essence of your own compassionate core.

    This is lacking in Teal 2.0 methode. I have a feeling that there is no grounding included and can truly create monsters and horrendous incidents. But this is just my view after reflecting about this *brand new* approach of Teal's.

  179. Another method of dealing all-day-emotions and its consequences on the spiritual, astral and physical plane is EFT Emotional Freedom Technique by Craig. In a way it opens you up to "deal/confront/release" a certain trauma or heavy emotion by addressing it, "measuring" its impact on you and then you tap it to zero. It is a very gentle method because it doesn't include that you need to fully access the emotion/feeling other than giving it a number from 1-10 and having a little sniff of it in order to define the number. Then magic happens and the accupressure points on your meridians and the focus of your attention and the intention of 'healing it" or at least "doing something" with it other than let it rot in your system, do all the magic. It can be used for small boo boos and real heavy traumatic experiences (like the veterans).

    I visited a coffee shop 3 days ago. I need to go to the loo and when I arrived it stank like pure piss. I was so disgusted but "desperate" . An hour later I felt my upper lip burning. I thought I had a sunburn or so, didn't think much about it. After 3 days I wake up today with a great big herpes on my lip - GREAT. So i did a EFT session, tapped myself on herpes and on the feeling of disgust in regards to the toilet for 10 min and the whole thing was only half the size anymore. Then I taped a little fluorite on my lip and looked like an idiot for half the day and now it is gone. ( :

    The alternative of not doing anything would have meant: a painful herpes for at least a week. I was just writing this little, random example to show how amazing this stuff and it includes the approach of "facing" old or present hick-ups in your system, which we all know, can lead to the worst expressions in form of body illnesses when not taken care of or ignored.

    I love my EFT. You do look like an idiot by doing it. I did it once in a plane because I was freaking out because my ears didn't pop. My neighbour surely thought I am bonkers but was gentleman enough not to ask me what the heck I am actually doing there with rolling the eyes, singing and counting numbers hahahaha

  180. "You don't actually have to reopen memory to heal and clear it from the body either. There are many other methods that don't risk retraumatizing your clients. But those methods don't give the "healer" the keys to your psyche so that they can manipulate and control you so I guess for some people they're just not good enough."

    Magnificent important insight here and touches on a deep realm of truth IMO....

  181. Disgusting washrooms in Germany(?)?! Oh no, what's the world coming to! I'm afraid to imagine what would happen to you after visiting some other lavatories, hehe.

  182. Ireland! A pissy toilet in Ireland!
    I am sure you saw a lot of those by traveling the world. :b
    I am easily impressed - indeed
    anyway: tealtribe still down.
    Jared is this your fault?

  183. Golden Andara,
    "This is lacking in Teal 2.0 methode. I have a feeling that there is no grounding included and can truly create monsters and horrendous incidents. But this is just my view after reflecting about this *brand new* approach of Teal's"

    Exactly, i feel teal is trying to send people in some sort of "dark night of the soul" trip but first of all I don't think you can push people into that if they're not ready although she says it's okay if you're not ready lol but yet had a little fit the other day on her page because "tealers" didn't seem to like this new way of teaching.

    But sending people into the storm without any grounding or support is dangerous I think. Been there lol it's hell if there's no support.
    And of course her new teaching ended again going back to your parents it's all about the parents and everyone has PTSD even if you had good parents umm alright teal lol I will walk into a therapists office and tell them I am there to heal how I didn't get my juice book from my mom when I was 2 yrs soo traumatizing I haven't been able to manifest juice boxes or any kind of juice ever since lol help ! :p

  184. Anna: ""tealers" didn't seem to like this new way of teaching."

    ...maybe that is the reason why tealtribe is doooowwwn. I guess it talkes a while to delete all the negative feedback. :D

    Thanks god Teal has Maggie and LV who were mentioning the dark night of the soul. they both are probably the catalyst for Teal. ( ;

  185. GA
    "maybe that is the reason why tealtribe is doooowwwn. I guess it talkes a while to delete all the negative feedback. :D"

    Hahaahaa thats hilarious!! Never thought of that.

    And definitely thank god LaVaughn made this blog and all you gals for your insight and knowledge. I had never even heard of the "dark night of the soul" until i stumbled upon here lol glad i did.

    Lol on being Teals Catalyst maybe you're right hahaa ;)

  186. She threw a fit the other day? I missed that. Where was this?

  187. On her page LV in response to a Tealer that was not happy or just saying what he thought about 2.0 i wonder if its still there. She said something about being disappointed on the backlash she has gotten and attracting Abraham followers etc. i think she is sorta addressing this on her blog today. Uhgg i need Teal Detox now lol

  188. On which page? She has thousands of them. You mean one of her facebook pages?

  189. Her facebook page Teal Swan, but i think she deleted it i cant find it or the person who posted his views on 2.0 deleted it because it seems he got thrashed by many "tealers"

  190. After reading Teal's newest alibi blog post *Denial* ... "http://blog.thespiritualcatalyst.com/denial/"

    ...I come to the conclusion that this Lady is dangerously brilliant in twisting and confusing and bending. I am actually speechless.
    So to shorten her blog post for all ye lazy readers out there :D :

    "By choosing to look at AND for a beautiful flower on a medow field which just caught your attention and giving a joyful experience of beauty - at the same time you denied - FUCKING HUMAN DENIAL - ...you denied the rotten corpus of a bird which was lying few meters to the left on the same field and which was so stinky that you chose to leave it behind and get some distance. Why the hell did you choose to soend some time with the flower instead of enjoying some time with the rotten bird, you human of denial?!"

    I tried my best to reflect in a very neutral and not emotional way the essence of Teal's blog post called "Denial". I hope I succeeded.

    Also very interesting to see her "confirming & applauding & knighting" Abraham Teachings for the first time but a second later taking Abraham Teachings all down again in regards to Denial...which is funny because the essence she was critizing reflects the whole Abraham Teaching. So pointless and again - a mindfuck! By the way, she used the SAME words to describe Abraham Teachings as Wayne Dyer during the Hay house Summit.

    Anyway, her blogpost is a masterpiece which shows the power of language and perspective switch with either beautiful consequences or confusing results. I must be totally in denial D: by not getting Teal's newest Teachings - I am infected by denialus streptococcus or so...

  191. I can tell you one thing:

    As long as I walk on this planet
    as long as I am compressed into a 3D reality
    I shall search and thirst for beauty.
    I shall express and create beauty
    I shall heartfully enjoy it too.

    And should I find myself surrounded by ugliness and pain
    I will find a way to sense the hidden beauty in all that is.
    Some people call me the queen of denial.
    I call myself the queen of clay and the queen of my perception.

    Right up my street:
    It's not denial. I'm just selective about the reality I accept.
    Bill Watterson

    Even the great artist & performer David Bowie suffers from it:
    I re-invented my image so many times that I'm in denial that I was originally an overweight Korean woman.
    David Bowie

    This one is for Teal <3:
    “Confidence turns into pride only when you are in denial of your mistakes.”
    ― Criss Jami

  192. When people ask "but you are not a realist? you are in denial", then Abe says you should say "I AM a realist. I am a vibrational realist. I stand in my vortex and look at my reality. You are standing outside the vortex and looking at my reality."

    There is only NOW in which to live. I will plug my nose and look at the pretty flowers because that is what I choose to do. I will love my cats even when they murder rabbits. i will ignore the news and look at what is in my face.

    I choose to focus on what makes me feel good because just like a cat looks for mice, I will not deny that in a strange parallel earth, a giant tyrannosaurus might swoop down on me and in my last moments, I plan to be happy.

    I love being crazy and denying all that i consider not worth thinking about..... The alternative is so drab.


  193. Oh the post is still there you just gotta scroll down to Tuesday. Its a guy. It starts out with "hey Tealie" and telling her how he felt about the vid and suggesting she should take a break or something. Then if you're interested you have to see the comments to that post and her reply to him. Even blake replied to him.

    Then it seems she posted this on Teal Tribe outing him out. You know, so tealers can attack him Cult style. Not nice, but not surprising.

  194. Love this song me2yesu ( :

    I only saw butterflies, flowers and sunshine in the patch animation.
    i guess I denied the devil.

  195. Kind of familar with the experience of the lyrics ( : thanks for the post M2y. Love this version a lot as well

    Anna: can you copy it over - cant find it.

    I remember when,
    I remember, I remember when I lost my mind
    There was something so special about that place
    Even your emotions have an echo in so much space

    And when you're out there without care
    Yeah, I was out of touch
    But it wasn't because I didn't know enough
    I just knew too much

    Does that make me crazy?
    Does that make me crazy?
    Does that make me crazy?

    And I hope that you are
    Having the time of your life
    But think twice
    That's my only advice

    Come on now, who do you
    Who do you, who do you, who do you think you are?
    Ha ha ha, bless your soul
    You really think you're in control?

    Well, I think you're crazy
    I think you're crazy
    I think you're crazy
    Just like me

    My heroes had the heart
    To live their lives out on a limb
    And all I remember
    Is thinking, I want to be like them

    Ever since I was little
    Ever since I was little
    It looked like fun
    And it's no coincidence I've come
    And I can die when I'm done

    But maybe I'm crazy
    Maybe you're crazy
    Maybe we're crazy
    ouh ouh crazy

  196. Of course she's get resistance from people. She's been promoting herself as an LOA teacher and now she's 180 degrees out from all that focus on the positive and somehow positive will magnetize positive even though that's the opposite of how magnets work stuff. Once again, I don't think she even realizes that she's that internally contradictory but people who wanted to be shiny and happy all the time so they could have a yacht aren't too pleased with her new aggressive spin on dealing with your dark emotions.

    James Ray is having a similar challenge, I think. That and the whole being convicted for killing people thing.

  197. Boooaahhh
    - so I was just listening to the lovely link maggie posted for youtube. Put it on repeat and got hit by a forced 20 second advert for Teal in Chicago - which looked Super professional.
    Teal 2.0 indeed
    ( :

    Teal everywhere. I need holidays.

  198. I agree LaVaughn, how can she be so surprised lol

    Have any of you ladies heard that interview on the outer limits blog talk radio where 4 psychics and 1 astrologer i think it was evaluated her? It was a couple months ago i believe. Obviously i had to listen to it lol well these psychics said she was angelic, indigo, akashic keeper, pure and all just lovely things of course. I was like seriouslyyyy??? Wtf lol

    As a psychic LaVaughn what is your take on that?? I mean can she beat psychics like some beat lie detectors lmao??

    Here is the link. If you dont want to listen to teal skip ahead like 30 min into it.


  199. The show starts with pointing out that the
    *3 of the worlds top mediums*
    will analyze Teal's energy

    http://www.constancestellas.com Constance Stellas
    http://www.angelreader.net Laura Lyn
    http://www.soul-psychics.com Lisa Caza

  200. I don't see it, Anna. Btw, with Facebook, if you click on the time stamp for a post, it's a permalink. Finding something on a Facebook page without that is very difficult.

    "As a psychic LaVaughn what is your take on that?? I mean can she beat psychics like some beat lie detectors lmao?? "

    Yeah, except beating a lie detector is harder. Psychics are not omnipresent and all-knowing. We all still see through our own filters. And we all have our own "truth." There are people for whom she's quite appropriate to where they are in their learning process. Many brilliant, intuitive people have been drawn to teal. Many of them have shown up in the comment section of this blog because they learned hard lessons. Just because your intuition draws you toward something doesn't mean it's going to turn out well.Your intuition takes you towards your learning. Sometimes what we need to learn is where our blind spots are.

    Reading people you don't know can be pretty challenging, too -- especially if what you're reading is a projected image. The other thing I've noticed where teal is concerned is that a lot of people in this field want to be on her bandwagon because they think it's going somewhere. Yes, psychics are susceptible to hype just like anybody else.


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