Feb 17, 2014

Breaking the TEAL SPELL -- UPDATE: The Noncasts

Crossposted from Reflections Journal.

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Update: The Noncasts (See Below)

Further Update: Blake Addresses Jason Freedman Mystery (See Below)

Yet Another Update: Kicking "Tealers" Down the Memory Hole (See Below)

Some years ago, when I was doing the Flower of Life teacher training with Drunvalo Melchizedek, one of my fellow travelers shared with me that he was troubled by what he called the "Drunvalettes." The term was his own invention but there was no mistaking his meaning. He even pegged a few of our classmates with that term. He liked Drunvalo quite a bit but that there was this kind of adulation by some Flower of Life folks made him uncomfortable. He had some concern that Drunvalo might have been fostering this unquestioning sycophancy. So one day when we were enjoying a break, he asked Drunvalo very directly how he felt about his Drunvalettes.

Dru shook his head and sighed. "I just try to stay out of it," he said.

That's one approach. There's a conversation to be had, for sure, about whether ignoring the phenomenon and trying to distance oneself from it is enough. Is it necessary to more actively discourage such behavior? But I think the one thing we were all in agreement on -- Drunvalo, myself, and the gentleman who raised the concern -- was that such hero worship was not a good or healthy thing.

The term "tealer" has similarly been thrown around to describe those who've drunk the "teal-aid." Some of her more passionate and angry defenders who've posted on my blog have been quite pejoratively labeled "tealers" by other commenters. So imagine my horror when I read this in a recent TEAL post about her seminar in Atlanta.

I am struck by how much the imprint of the days of slavery still remains on some of the older buildings and railways here in town. It has soaked its way especially into the old wood that dots the brick walls. The venue for yesterday’s workshop was one such a building. It was a fitting energy, seeing as how the theme of the entire workshop was self-liberation.

This group which is being called the “Tealers” is the most open minded, eccentrically intellectual group I have ever beheld.  I think it is now my favorite part of holding these workshops.  Long-term friendships are formed.  People find their place to belong. And I get to witness the fact that this world is in good hands.  All across the globe, they form a supportive web of awakening.  They touch the lives of the people in the cities they live in.  It is like a little legion of enlightened spirits, whose practice is that of non-resistance and expansion.

You're Freeeee! Wait. Not so fast.

TEAL's posts are always a box of contradictions. The scenery is beautiful. The people are lovely. The town oozes its fetid history from every nook and cranny. Life is beautiful and filled with joy. I wander through a briar patch of PTSD triggers that hurl me into seizures and despair. My life is so rich and full that I've written a how-to book on self-love. Everything reminds me of my ritual abuse and being sewn into corpses.

And, bonus! This post comes with a healthy dose of bigotry... and, for good measure, a naked lady.

But I digress. She actually wants "tealers." It's positively Orwellian. You too can be liberated if only you will define yourself by your adoration of TEAL.

Teal 1984 photo teal1984_zps929f7b08.jpg

As I said in my first post on the topic, I have never seen a spiritual teacher who has so blatantly courted adulation and fostered dependency. What I've learned two posts and volumes of feedback later is that it's so much worse than I thought.

Recently, yet another TEAL related Facebook group launched: Teal Tribe Dating. That might not be so bad right? A nice little meeting place for people of similar interests under her general auspices. But then I read the copy.

Teal Tribe Dating

"Teal Tribe Dating" is a group for human beings(Well... at least in the 3D) who are single and looking for a loving relationship with a like-minded partner. Teal Tribe turned out to be an easy awesome way for people who are familiar with Teal to find their true friends and soul family, and now you have a chance to meet your true love too. That idea works by the law of attraction: The vibration in this group is high because of the high vibrational message of Teal Scott; Which means meeting high quality and spiritual-minded people. To break the ice, here is a suggestion for introducing yourself:

. . .

Favorite Teal's Video/Art/Quotes:

*To search for profiles go into the 'Photos' tab and click the desired category... [All emphases mine]

Yes, you are part of an elite group of "high vibrational" people because you like TEAL. TEAL's followers are your true soul family. And you can all bond based on your shared devotion to TEAL. You can even find the love of your life as long as it's really all about ♥ TEAL ♥.

This all looks more and more cultish by the day. I can't help thinking of the Moonies and their arranged, mass weddings.

Obviously, Teal Tribe is not a cult like Unification, Hare Krishna, or other highly organized groups. It's not a totalitarian regime. But there are definitely cultish elements. It's enough, in my mind, to be concerning. I say this, in part, because of what I'm hearing from people, publicly and privately, about having difficulty extricating loved ones or even disengaging themselves from her strange pull.

Much of the feedback I've gotten has been from people who described themselves as having been "obsessed" with TEAL, or words very much to that effect. Some said their interest moved rapidly from interest in what she was saying to fascination with her and the soap opera that is her life.

That she turned her life into a kind of reality show called Shadow House, which opened a window into her "intentional family," fed the fascination. Her life is decidedly more interesting than her spiritual teachings. It's full of sex, fights, verbal abuse, and melodrama. Some of these programs made viewers privy to things like TEAL's humiliation of the aforementioned Fallon and also of a gal named Cameron, whose major crime appears to have been that Blake was attracted to her. The fourth wall was torn down completely as viewers made the whole thing interactive. The audience participation portion involved TEAL fans taking to chat, Facebook, and Teal Tribe to verbally assault these people for their grievous mistreatment of TEAL. Anyone who questioned TEAL's treatment of them was likewise set upon by the group.

Anyone who has ever witnessed the vitriol that TEAL inspires in her fans when they seek to defend her would have to wonder just what is meant by "high vibrational."

As I said in that first post, the Fallon episode suggested the confessional element of cult behavior referenced by Robert J. Lifton, as Fallon opened himself to group abasement for his "sociopathic" behavior. As I've learned more about these Shadow House livestreams from those who've viewed them, I've realized that it fits that criterion even more directly than I'd first thought. In Shadow House events, TEAL puts her "family" members in the hot seat and scrutinizes their shadows. Any viewer of these broadcasts would become privy to very personal, private information about her inner circle. According to many accounts, Cameron was compelled to participate over her objections. It ended badly and ultimately caused her to quit the area. This description of the confession element of cult indoctrination is adapted from Lifton.

Sins, as defined by the group, are to be confessed either to a personal monitor or publicly to the group. There is no confidentiality: members' sins, attitudes, and faults are discussed and exploited by the leaders.

Closely related to the demand for absolute purity is an obsession with personal confession. Confession is carried beyond its ordinary religious, legal, and therapeutic expressions to the point of becoming a cult in itself. (Page 425.)

Public confessional periods are used to get members to verbalize and discuss their innermost fears and anxieties as well as past imperfections.

The environment demands that personal boundaries are destroyed and that every thought, feeling, or action that does not conform with the group's rules be confessed.

Members have little or no privacy, physically or mentally.

In assessing the shadows of her housemates, TEAL relies heavily on Byron Katie's "The Work" for methodology. Katie is, herself, on the radar of cult watchers and accounts of her antics certainly do raise an eyebrow. For instance, she also does a homeless exercise very like, if not identical to, the one practiced by James Arthur Ray that resulted in the mysterious death of Colleen Conaway.

I would encourage those familiar with TEAL's organization to look over some of the cult literature linked herein. These two pages include characteristics identified by a number of cult researchers: Intro to Cults 101 and Cult Characteristics. I'm not as acquainted with the inner workings of TEAL world as many readers are but even I can see that these pages point to any number of red flags.

For instance  Rick Ross claims, "Anything the group/leader does can be justified no matter how harsh or harmful." TEAL's vicious attacks on Fallon and Cameron as well as other thoroughly embarrassing Shadow House outbursts are not only justified but extolled as a virtue. TEAL is courageously showing the world her shadow side instead of hiding it like typical gurus, it is claimed. 

Cults are typically formed around charismatic leadership. Lifton observed, "The guru is worshipped, rather than the principles or doctrines (on which the sect is supposed to be based)." As stated, for many of TEAL's followers, the days and nights of Teal Bosworth Scott Swan have upstaged her spiritual teachings. She has made her personal life a major focus of her work, with her Shadow House livestream events and her confessional style blogging.

The American Family Foundation says, "The group is focused on a living leader to whom members seem to display excessively zealous, unquestioning commitment." As discussed, her defenders are passionate, indeed, as I and other critics have learned the hard way.

Carol Giambavo puts it like this: "Charismatic or messianic leader who is self-appointed and has a special mission in life." To say that TEAL is self-appointed and has announced a "special mission" would be to understate her accounting. As discussed, she has described herself as a Eucharist projected here by an Arcturian panel and genetically engineered to be white and beautiful enough to be heard on "every single continent." 

This, again, is the interview in which she explains in painful detail why it was so critical that she have universally appealing features. But not only is she more attractive than those poor, ugly African women, she's not like the rest of us mere mortals at all. She's not even really human.

(9:30) So I am a soul fork. What that means is from nonphysical energy -- so most people in the planet, they're non-physical energy that is projected forth into a physical human body. I am non-physical energy that is perfect-projected forth into an Arcturian body -- an extraterrestrial body. Now that extraterrestrial being has chosen to then project forth as a human body twelve times. This is the twelfth incarnation. And it's quite, it's quite funny, ironically, because before I even came down, um, there was an entire panel of beings, Arcturian beings, sixth dimensional beings, who even chose the way I would look in this life....

(16:15) I'm now three points of perspective. Most people are two. Most people are the higher self and their human perspective, two points of perspective. I'm three, human, extraterrestrial, and nonphysical.

Special. She's very, very special. She also has no idea what irony means, because there is nothing in that story that is remotely ironic.

By virtue of her specialness, her followers are also special. As stated, they are "high vibrational."

As per the American Family Foundation, "The group is elitist, claiming a special, exalted status for itself, its leader(s), and members (for example: the leader is considered the Messiah or an avatar; the group and/or the leader has a special mission to save humanity)."

You mean like a "supportive web of awakening" or a "little legion of enlightened spirits" who are devoted to an Arcturian projecting into human flesh to act as a Eucharist?

"Tealers" and "Teal Tribe Dating" members are told they've found their "place to belong" and their "true friends and soul family." It sounds an awful lot like the "love bombing" described by the Cult Information Centre: "Creating a sense of family and belonging through hugging, kissing, touching and flattery."

According to  the American Family Foundation, "Questioning, doubt, and dissent are discouraged or even punished." Or as Steven Hassan puts it, "No critical questions about leader, doctrine, or policy seen as legitimate."

Many people report having had their comments deleted from TEAL's blog, when they raised uncomfortable questions or pointed out discrepancies. References to these deletions -- or having such comments held up in moderation -- are peppered throughout the comments on the two previous posts. Notably, a frequent commenter on TEAL's blog named Lena had her account deleted with her entire comment history. When this deletion was called out in the comments on my blog and then by regulars on TEAL's blog, Blake finally responded. He claimed that it was an error on the part of an overzealous admin who did so out of love for TEAL. I asked Blake to explain how it was that his claimed no-censorship policy was never adequately communicated to the admin and why it was that so many reported having been censored. That was weeks ago. He has never responded to my query. That exchange, such as it was, can be found here.

More to the point, consider how TEAL has responded to the questions I have raised in my two posts. She has called me a "hater" who "crawled out of the woodwork" to try to co-opt her growing fame. She has accused me of causing her great emotional pain. Her posts in response to my questions serve to polarize her most devoted followers against the very act of raising questions or having doubts. It solidifies an "us vs. them" attitude towards anyone who would dare question, which Hassan identifies as one of the methods of "thought control."

"Whenever the group/leader is criticized or questioned it is characterized as 'persecution'," says Rick Ross. In TEAL's case, it's morphing into paranoia. In a recent post, she cites her critics as justification for ramping up the already very noticeable security.

I’m sure some people are wondering why I bother having security personnel at my workshops if I teach (and believe) the concept of “I create my own reality”.  So I wanted to explain it to you.

. . .

Part of the contrast involved with fame is the contrast of having “haters” and “antagonists”.  We chose the potential of this contrast before even coming into this life.  We chose it for the sake of our own expansion.  The experience of these types of interactions and people, leads to the desire and therefore creation of staying true to ourself regardless of opposition, benevolence, unity, appreciative focus and love within our own lives and within the universe.  This is part of why we chose the “fame path” to begin with over other paths we could have chosen.

Another cult indicator is a lack of fiscal transparency. As Rick Ross puts it, there is "No meaningful financial disclosure regarding budget, expenses such as an independently audited financial statement." The billboard campaign is illustrative. After a number of people mentioned in comments on my blog that they wondered what had happened to all the donations to this project, the issue magically appeared in a new blog post. (That there is a call and response thing going on between my blog and her posts has been noted repeatedly.) But this explanation was at least a day late and a buck or two short.

As per usual, there is an enormous learning curve with any new endeavor.  The first crowd funding campaign we did accomplished almost nothing.  The perks we offered turned out to be almost as expensive to create and provide as the money people were donating.  On top of that, one of the people helping with the campaign, offered a perk that wasn’t his to offer due to a copyright someone else had on his work, so we ended up being forced to pay a bunch of money to a third party person for a perk that had already been delivered.  In the end, we made too little money in profits to accomplish many of our goals.  But having learned our lesson the hard way, we are planning in the near future to start another campaign with the very same aim.

So, it would appear that TEAL's idea of financial disclosure goes something like this: All that money you all donated? It's pretty much gone with nothing to show for it. Can we have some more?

Use of "deception" in recruiting and fundraising is cited by Hasssan, Giambalvo, and the U of C, but it also kind of goes without saying, doesn't it? Aside from the murkiness about people's donations, there's a lot about TEAL's claims that raises questions. Of course, whether or not she was specially designed by an Arcturian panel is a little hard to validate one way or the other. Such "revealed knowledge" is integral to many a religious experience but the difficulty in fact-checking means we accept it on faith or we don't.

But there is also a lack of empirical proof to things like her very central claim of Satanic ritual abuse. Many such claims were made in the 80s and 90s. But TEAL herself admits that there's no evidence other than the say-so of victims like herself and claims that most of those are too terrified to come forward.

As I wrote before, to TEAL's great consternation, the FBI investigated claims of Satanic ritual abuse and found there was no real evidence. Psychologists and other experts who testified in court cases against abusers have since been discredited and largely discounted as it's come to light that false memories can be implanted during therapy. That said, a great deal of TEAL's narrative comes apart if that doesn't happen to be true. In fairness, she may believe it whether or not it's true.

When I was looking into Byron Katie for this post, I came across another troubling bit of information. Her story of awakening and TEAL's are strikingly similar. Both involve insects which inspired radical shifts in perspective during very dark passages in their lives.

TEAL's story of the "little ant" that awakened her to the awareness of life teeming merrily all around her even as she was confined to a hole by her Mormon Satanist abuser starts at about the 17:00 minute mark. The inappropriate laughter as she begins to tell it is particularly jarring.

Byron Katie's story of awakening while staring at a cockroach can be found here.

Less than two weeks after I entered the halfway house, my life changed completely. What follows is a very approximate account.

One morning I woke up. I had been sleeping on the floor as usual. Nothing special had happened the night before; I just opened my eyes. But I was seeing without concepts, without thoughts or an internal story. There was no me. It was as if something else had woken up. It opened its eyes. It was looking through Katie's eyes. And it was crisp, it was clear, it was new, it had never been here before. Everything was unrecognizable. And it was so delighted! Laughter welled up from the depths and just poured out. It breathed and was ecstasy. It was intoxicated with joy: totally greedy for everything. There was nothing separate, nothing unacceptable to it. Everything was its very own self. For the first time I — it — experienced the love of its own life. I — it —was amazed

In trying to be as accurate as possible, I am using the word “it” for this delighted, loving awareness, in which there was no me or world, and in which everything was included. There just isn't another way to say how completely new and fresh the awareness was. There was no I observing the “it.” There was nothing but the “it.” And even the realization of an “it” came later.

Let me say this in a different way. A foot appeared; there was a cockroach crawling over it. It opened its eyes, and there was something on the foot; or there was something on the foot, and then it opened its eyes — I don't know the sequence, because there was no time in any of this. So, to put it in slow motion: it opened its eyes, looked down at the foot, a cockroach was crawling across the ankle, and … it was awake! It was born. And from then on, it's been observing. But there wasn't a subject or an object. It was — is — everything it saw. There's no separation in it, anywhere.

In the midst of this experience, the four questions that would go on to define "The Work" were born: Is it true or can I really know that it's true? How do I react when I think that thought? Can I find one peaceful reason to believe that thought? Who would I be without the thought?

So, here we have two women, in the depths of despair, after years of suffering, who both realized they could simply shift their perspective while staring at bugs. It's a little coincidental, doncha think? And Byron Katie is one of the only sources TEAL acknowledges drawing from.

I still have a hard time seeing how either of these teachings differ from telling people they can heal themselves through willful denial, but that's probably a discussion for another day.

"To us it's all about truth. And we have an addiction to it. We have this absolute addiction. Worldwide addiction to the idea that we have to know what is true, which is just ridiculous. Because most of us are killing ourselves with what we think is true. So the question is why do you want truth to begin with? I want truth 'cause I think I will be happier if I have truth. Okay, well what if the truth is this and that makes you feel like crap. Does that really make you feel better? Why are we going about it the long way? Why not just decide that what matters is that you feel good? It's the only reason you want truth anyway. And most of the time when people realize that, life becomes a bit more soft. You know? It becomes a bit more about does this benefit me, not is it true." ~ TEAL

It has been suggested by many people, myself included, that TEAL sounds an awful lot like Abraham-Hicks. But TEAL says no. At around minute 20:00 in the Nova Zem interview posted above, she says she'd only learned about Abraham channeler Esther Hicks about a year before because "someone" who was listening to her drew the comparison. She gives Abraham-Hicks a pat on the head for being the "most accurate" of channelers but this comes in the midst of her explaining why what she does is so much better than channeling. She really is a higher consciousness being. She's not just channeling one, which is all we ordinary humans can do.

That interview took place in March of 2013. But Blake Dyer, who is pretty much her right hand, knew about the Abraham teachings at least as far back as March of 2011, two years, not one year before. Now is it possible that there's some confusion about the dates? Sure. Is it possible that she and Blake didn't confer? Maybe. Is it possible that it's entirely coincidental that TEAL's teachings are "effectively identical" to those of Abraham-Hicks, as a commenter noted in response to Blake? I guess it's possible. What is stranger is just how it is that we know Blake was familiar with Abraham-Hicks in March of 2011. It's because we know to a near certainty that Blake was at that time doing a lot of his TEAL promotion under the name of Jason Freedman, who wrote this comment on an Abraham-Hicks discussion forum.

Hello all,
I am a free lance journalist who is a long time devotee of a teacher called Teal Scott (The spiritual catalyst)
When I was discussing Teal's teachings to a friend a while back, they said wow... That sounds just like what Abraham is saying. So, I decided to check it out.
I love the messages of both these Teachers (which are so very similar) I can't tell you the good it has brought to my life. I believe we are presented teachers just when we need them most.

How do we know that this Jason Freedman was actually Blake? Therein hangs a tale.

Soon after I did my first post on the woman then known as Teal Scott, a gentleman commenting under the moniker Mykeyta offered some background. He had once considered her ex-husband Mark Scott a good friend. Blake Dyer had also been a friend. The friendships were strained by his growing discomfort with TEAL's many claims and their absorption in her ambition. When an opinion piece was published in the local paper, discussing TEAL's claims of Satanic ritual abuse, he was troubled by the swarm attack on the editor who wrote it and any other commenter who didn't accept her story at face value. More than one of them were evocative of his friend Blake so he came to the conclusion that TEAL's "army" was largely made up of sock puppets. In particular there are several comments in that thread by Jason Freedman. Mykeyta found that Mr. Freedman had written the "puff piece" I mentioned in that post. He also noted that the picture of Mr. Freedman looked an awful lot like Blake Dyer. He called the number listed for Mr. Freedman and found that he also sounded a lot like Blake Dyer.

I don't know Mykeyta any better than I know TEAL or Blake Dyer or anyone else in their sphere, but to me his story had the ring of truth. More than TEAL's stories do at any rate. A photo taken from a distance in front of the Great Wall of China -- a place he knew Blake had been -- and his account of vocal recognition make for an intriguing story, but they're not evidence.

Flash forward to a couple of days ago when, on my second blog post on the subject, Mykeyta recounted the story to someone who very understandably hadn't read the 1000+ comments on these two posts. Another person called Ima Guest had been having trouble posting some comments due to computer issues but emailed me something more like documentary proof that Blake Dyer and Jason Freedman are one and the same. And it all comes down to that phone number.

Here's the number for Jason Freedman:

Jason Freedman Number

Jason Freedman Detail

Here's the number for TEAL's Frequency Jewelry:

Frequency Jewelry

Frequency Jewelry Detail

Here's the number for Blake Dyer:

Blake's Number

Here's what happens when you put the phone number in Google:

google 8019499651

I think it's pretty safe to say at this point that Jason Freedman is Blake Dyer.

This would mean that Blake Dyer, under a pseudonym, wrote up an interview with a former girlfriend to promote a business, Teal Eye LLC, of which he is the Director. He did not disclose his close association with TEAL or her business. Instead he posed as a fictional reporter "who writes for periodicals both nationally and internationally," but whose byline, strangely, only seems to bring up that one story in searches.

Worse, he used this fake persona, once again, to comment on the Herald Journal piece where he argued from authority as a reporter with a twenty year career. These comments appear alongside other comments from sundyer, Blake's official moniker, and who knows how many other socks.

Mr. Freedman wrote three comments in response to that column. They are the only comments he has  posted to date to the Herald Journal.

His first comment, posted at 10:25 am on Mon, Mar 28, 2011:

I'm totally appalled by the mocking and disbelieving tone of this article. "Just another reader" and "Bluto" and "DL in Den"... you are full of crap. I have worked for 20 years in investigative journalism,. I have seen reports like this one float across the desks of reporters only to be ignored because no one likes to touch these stories. Not because they are not true but because society is not ready to face the bitter reality that it does happen and did happen this time. Society's blind ignorance to this happening is why it continues to happen. I'm totally Ashamed that any of you would think this woman would have anything to gain from telling her story. Instead, she risks everything. She risks her own safety, credibility and connection by admitting these things. Women like her are the rare, brave, exception to the rule of silent victims. Anyone who does not stand beside her participates in silencing victims and therefore siding with perpetrators everywhere. Perpetrators BANK on victims being discredited as some of you have done.
the only reason the columnist mentioned her book (which aside from the foreword has nothing to do with abuse) is because he saw an interview with her in it talking about the book on Park City TV. The book is the reason he even heard this story.
He admitted this himself.
I thought this editor did an injustice to victims everywhere by releasing this column with a "tale tale" tone to it.
That was the only thing "LAME" about this article.
I'm embarrassed to be human today having read some of the un supportive comments that are being written about this.

His second comment, posted at 6:57 pm on Mon, Mar 28, 2011:

I got very upset about that. I did not mean to be insulting. The issue is this... I happen to have done a lot of journalism in jails where I talked to three separate prisoners who confessed to me directly about how they would go about mentally programming children. I have heard it from the horse's mouth. Not the victim's mouths.
Visit this link for a bit...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sUfzWTem15E (first of eight videos)
and http://ritualabuse.us/ritualabuse/studies/satanic-ritual-abuse-evidence-with-information-on-the-mcmartin-preschool-case/

His third comment, posted at 9:02 am on Tue, Mar 29, 2011:

The only reason I can see for people to be so adamant to discredit claims of ritual abuse is if they themselves where practicing participants.

Mr. Freedman also wrote a letter to the editor, making basically the same case.

In response to the article titled “Claims of local torture cult got this editor’s attention,” featured March 27, I am appalled by the disbelieving tone of the article addressing the ritual abuse suffered by the subject of the aforementioned article, “Teal Scott.” I am a freelance journalist who has seen reports of ritual abuse in our state float across the desks of reporters and be ignored for 20 years. This ignorance to the validity of these stories is exactly why they continue to happen in our community. As a result of this article, I have researched Teal Scott myself only to find that she is not to be discredited. It is time that the citizens of Utah came out of ignorance about the ritual abuse (especially satanic ritual abuse) that continues to go on in the state and stood behind those who are brave enough to come out of hiding and say something about it.

If Blake and Freedman are one and the same, as they surely appear to be, that would mean that in order to attack and shame people for questioning the veracity of TEAL's story, he's adopted a fake persona and proffered as evidence prison interviews that never happened during a journalism career history he's made up. Blake Dyer has raised mendacity to an art form.

Pay attention, TEAL. That is irony.

Speaking for myself, a realization of that kind of fraud would cause me to become disillusioned. Disillusionment is painful, but I prefer it to the alternative -- believing in an illusion. I guess I'm one of those people who's addicted to truth.

I have experienced similar disillusionment. I have learned to my great dismay that teachers I have followed were not what they appeared to be and even that they were baldfaced liars. I have discovered that I was being manipulated and mislead. It was painful. It did not "feel good" to learn it. I'm still glad I learned it because it freed me up to seek elsewhere for spiritual education and guidance.

And I have felt very foolish. Like many people, I used to think that I was too smart to fall for con artists and cult leaders. I was wrong. It was humbling. But humility is a great place from which to start over.

"When I hear someone say that only stupid people fall for fraud, I feel like asking for that person’s phone number. But here’s the thing: I didn’t want to talk to stupid people, because stupid people don’t have $50,000 lying around to give me. You would be amazed at how many doctors, lawyers, engineers, and college professors I have ripped off. The bottom line is, fraud is a crime that can happen to anyone, given the right con artist and a victim with the right set of circumstances." ~ The Anonymous Confessions of a Con Artist

In the comments, following my last post on TEAL, a woman named Becky asked what I and other commenters recommended for spiritual guidance and inspiration to fill the gap left by TEAL. It was a good conversation that can be read in full starting on the first page of comments on that post. I'd like to address it here because my rather lengthy attempt to address it in the comments was eaten by blogger. But also because I think it's a good jumping off point to a larger conversation about healing after this kind of disillusionment.

I was thinking about how defensive people get on the whole Teal subject, and why that is... It occurs to me that maybe it's because in a way she gives a lot of people hope. People hear her story and feel empowered by it, if she can "beat those odds" maybe they can too.

I think they start to get angry because they might feel betrayed by Teal when the story starts to fall apart, and that hopeless feeling starts to return. That's probably a space a lot of people don't want to go back to, so they live in denial about the story crumbling, but they still have to direct that anger somewhere.

Somehow the phrase "Don't shoot the messenger" comes to mind. A lot of people are taking this stuff very personally and it might be a good idea to ask why that is?

I was just thinking about my thought process through all of this, how my emotions came into play when I was trying to figure out where I stand on all this Teal stuff.
I guess I'm asking, what else has helped you, what gives you hope? What inspires you? What's helped you grow as a person?

I'm curious about what resources you trust that you would direct people to if they wanted better themselves, but didn't necessarily know where to go?

What she is describing in the first part of that comment is cognitive dissonance and it's key to understanding manipulation and indoctrination. Leon Festinger did the seminal research in the 1950s. I touched on this briefly here, as well. Festinger theorized that people are most comfortable when their thoughts, feelings, and actions, are all congruent. Among other things, this means that we are strongly motivated to continue believing falsehoods if no longer believing them comes into conflict with life choices we've made, money we've laid out, and happiness we've attained by believing in them. So very often we will cleave to the falsehood with greater ferocity to protect our own sense of inner harmony.

I am always a little reticent to make general recommendations because there is no one size fits all when it comes to spiritual teaching. In particular, when a person is coming out of a situation where someone has been abusing spiritual authority, as I believe TEAL does, the last thing I want to do is run the risk of further over-running instincts that may be quite damaged.

I will tell readers what I tell my clients. My recommendations are my opinion. If what I say doesn't feel right for you, disregard it.

If you are coming out of any abusive situation, spiritual or otherwise, there is probably soul loss. For that I recommend soul retrieval. I had several soul retrievals with a skilled shaman. They helped me to restore parts lost to abusive teachers and healers. They also helped to restore missing parts that had left me vulnerable to such influences in the first place. They helped, period. My path takes me through shamanism and indigenous teachings so that work is a fit for me. The seminal book on the topic is Soul Retrieval by Sandra Ingerman. For more information, a good resource is Christina Pratt's internet radio show, Why Shamanism Now? The entire catalog can be heard for free on iTunes and other streaming sources. Finding information on some of the relevant broadcasts can be found by searching the word retrieval on my Celestial Reflections blog.

Another great resource for restoring the soul and repairing damaged instincts is Women Who Run With the Wolves by Clarissa Pinkola Estés. I call it, among other things, therapy in a book. It really walks you through a process. I've written more about that book and the power of story here and here.

Mostly, I recommend following your nose and seeing where it leads you. It's just a good idea to get in touch with your instincts and learn to trust your sense of smell first. Christina Pratt talks about bouncing everything off your "truth cord." It helps if you've located that line that runs right through your core.

In much of the developed world, we've been raised to think of God and the paths to God as outside of ourselves and dependent on spiritual authority. We've been acculturated to seek the teacher who speaks with certitude based on things only he or she could know and, as such, bestow upon us. But I think argument from authority is a logical fallacy and have learned to avoid such teachers like the plague. This, in part, is why the "cosmic answer lady" persona in the Ask Teal videos is something I find so off-putting. I don't trust ex cathedra teachings.

Spiritual guidance should take you inward. It should foster your personal relationship with spirit. It shouldn't be about the teacher. No teacher should be giving you answers. They should only be teaching you how to learn.

I don't recommend authors and teachers who tell you that spiritual development is simple, particularly if they give x number of steps. To quote Joseph Campbell, “If you can see your path laid out in front of you step by step, you know it's not your path. Your own path you make with every step you take. That's why it's your path.”

There are any number of authors and thinkers I could point to who delight, inform, and inspire me. Their names are peppered throughout my writings. But when I really think about what inspires me, it's not a person. It's spirit. It's my personal relationship with my guides and the pathway to the numinous that runs right up the center of my being. It's the amusing game of finding Easter eggs hidden in the most unexpected books and movies that my guides point me to. It's those moments of reverie that come simply because I am staring at a piece of art or listening to music. It's the constant reminders from the spirit world that even when I think I'm running my own life, I'm not. I'm being led by the hand by something so much wiser than I am and that it is that inner compass that has told me to pick up a certain book or watch a particular movie or go to a certain place at a certain time. I have incredible gratitude to teachers and healers I've worked with like Virginia Sandlin and Christina Pratt. But in the end what I am grateful for is that they consistently pointed me not towards themselves but towards my own connection with all that is.

Addendum: My two previous posts on TEAL are worth reading for additional background and for the phenomenal discussions that have taken place in the comments:

Who and What is Teal Scott
The Artist Formerly Known as Teal Scott

Update: "The Noncasts"

In March of this year, TEAL and her new husband Sarbdeep Swan introduced a new video series called "Tea Time with Teal" -- not Tea Time with The Swans, mind you. TEAL is still the staaahhh! Only her name can appear on the marquee. I think it's in her contract.

These weekly episodes are called "podcasts" but aren't anything of the kind. Whereas podcasts are hosted on a platform, such as iTunes, so that they can be easily downloaded, kept, and enjoyed on other devices, these are just more garden variety YouTube videos. Podcasts are designed to be accessible, easily disseminated, and portable.

Ironically (note the correct use of this word), these not-podcasts are announced only to an email list, are posted on a hidden, unlinked page on her website, and the YouTube videos are set to private. I won't call them podcasts. I have variously referred to them as: stealthcasts, not-podcasts, tea things, narrowcasts, and narrowcasts for tea-sipping pod people.

The icing on the irony cake? The second of these husband and wife discussions was about TEAL's insistence that their private life be open to the public.

These tea things have provided great fodder for discussion in the comment thread for this blog post. The conversations evolved into a regular feature I call the noncasts. These write-ups mirror the subject matter in that they report on discussions of the tea things I've had with my husband. The official title of this series is "How to Drive Your Double PhD Husband Crazy by Making Him Watch TEAL Videos."

As with the tea things, these are not indexed, freestanding posts. If you're interested, you'll have to dig for them. They can only be found in the comment thread for this post. Page searches for the words noncast or tea should get you there.

* Addendum to the Addendum: With the end of teal's marriage to Sarbdeep, comes the definitive end to "Tea Time with Teal," and, therefore, to the noncasts. I will conclude this exercise by adding to this already absurdly long post a complete list of the noncasts. I will include a link to the initial comment of each noncast, for those whose browsers can interpret that, and the page link for the relevant comments.

In those teacasts, we all got to know a third member of teal's menagerie: the frog. He emerged as a star in his own right. Calm and stoical as only a butler of such impeccable credentials can be, he kept his head when all about him were losing theirs. The frog recently launched a video channel and has begun producing videos in the odd hours, as his schedule permits. The first includes his thoughts as interpreted by his growing legion of fans. So, teal, Sarbdeep, and frog, thanks for the memories.

Further Update: Regarding Jason Freedman, et al.

This post raises a question about the odd correlation between Blake Dyer's and Jason Freedman's likeness and phone number. It took an incident in the Teal Tribe Facebook group to get Blake to address this question, but he has. It would have been nice if he'd done so directly with me, but I'll take what I can get.

What I could get was some screenshots given to me by Teal Tribe members of Blake's attempts to explain this odd coincidence, and another oddity involving a claimed psychiatrist, William Macey PHD [sic], who also bear's Blake's likeness. I have discussed this matter in the comments, but it occurs to me that it, in fairness to the reader and to Blake Dyer, it should also be placed in the body of this post.

The following screenshots are not in any particular order and vary in format, as they came from various sources in various forms. I don't actually know how the dialog unfolded. I only know that these questions were raised in the Teal Tribe group and Blake attempted to answer at least some of them.

Blake denied both knowing Jason Freedman and knowing how it is that he came to have the same phone number. He did so more than once as follows:

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Blake acknowledged that the photos used by both Jason Freedman and William Macey were of him, but denied knowing how they came to be associated with either:

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So, my question to Blake, which I posed down in the comments as well, is simply this. How is it that he does not know Jason Freedman? Freedman apparently did a face to face interview with TEAL. Couldn't he just ask her? And if he is in the dark about this interview with the mysterious Mr. Freedman, how is it that he promoted said article on Facebook?

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Yet Another Update: Kicking "Tealers" Down the Memory Hole

It brings me no joy that I must, once again, update this excruciatingly long post. But it's recently come to my attention that teal is trying to rewrite history. Above I quoted a passage from her Korean spa post about the world-changing potential of the "Tealers." At some point between the original publication of that post and its move to her new website, the passage I quoted above was changed and the word "Tealers" removed. But the original text is still visible on the cached version in the internet archive, or wayback machine.

Here is what that passage looked like when it was originally published in 2014.

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Here is what that passage looks like in the current version on her new website.

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Her clean-up was incomplete, however. The word "Tealers" appears further down in the post.

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  1. So the video froze before you reached the part in which she points out to a surprised and short with words Sarbdeep that the relationship will end if both minds don't meet in regards to privacy? ( ;

    Well LaVaughn you should be cooler by now. It was JUST a little bit of skirt flashing isn't it hahahaha (tip: change the resolution from 720dpi do 350 or lower and it will not freeze)

    I do like Mr. S a lot.

  2. I did that GA, and it's still glitching along here, but we'll see how far it gets. But her whole idea here is fucked up. Oneness and privacy are not in conflict at all. We live in a dichotometric experience. We are all one, absolutely completely one. And from that perspective there is no teal, no Sarbdeep, no LaVaughn... it's that state that she has previously described as boring. But from the perspective of our human selves, the state in which we have identity, we have to respect our bodily autonomy and that of every other person here. When you're cramming your idea that privacy is silly down other people's throats you're not respecting that that other person is autonomous and whole and also contains the entire universe. If her argument against privacy is that we're all one, then she needs to extend that to every other area of agreement between people. There could be no marriage or any kind of monogamy, for instance because that restriction implies that two people could have a relationship they're not having with everybody else. We're all one, so fuck everyone you meet. It's cool. And let's have serial killers to dinner and let them stay at the house because, you know, Charles Manson is just another expression of source same as anyone.

    We draw boundaries in this reality because as human beings, we need to for our safety, physical safety, emotional safety, material safety. This is the reality we signed on for. Some rules can be bent. Some can be broken, but when you see an agent, you run. And you don't have serial killers to dinner because they will likely kill you.

    She's once again abusing a spiritual principle to justify whatever the fuck she wants to do, in this case be an exhibitionist and not have to respect anyone else's boundaries or value systems because they conflict with her need for attention.

  3. Reality check people. Did she just say MY name? Right around the 17 minute mark? Did I hear that right? And our issue with one another is self worth? Seriously? Somebody help me out here or do I need to break out the ear candles to be sure. She mumbles but I swear I just heard my name.

  4. HO. LY. SCHEIKES! He just said it. HE could have been quoting me. What did I say in my last post? If you are in teal's life, you are not entitled to a private life, so don't expect one.

  5. Well, that honeymoon ended quick. Her way or the highway, baby.

  6. Yes she is backing up everything she does with the "universal truth". It did not make sense to me what she said. I could follow Sarbdeep well. To relate the overall oneness into "let's skip privacy" is a ridiculous act of trying to skin people so that they don't "end" with their skin anymore. I do believe that this translation of oneness cannot be archived this way - maybe except for Teal ( :

    I actually ordered a copy of the book "The Paradox of Creation" by Camillo Loken. I am not sure if i actually can post this here but I do it anyway. On page 9 is a wonderful paragraph. I totally get it.

    "Everything already"is". The finite, and in that the linear existence, is an experience of what eternity is, and eternity is not a very long time any more than infinity is a very big "thing". Eternity actually means no time, no time passing. We exist, "now". No one exists in the past or future, we only exist now. The appearance/ experience of past and future are achieved by exploding the "now". Like that the infinite is a movie that is complete, an isness, but then you can't know the movie that way. You have to watch it frame by frame. Pass the frames across the lens in sequence and it seems to be moving. The infinite does not move, it "is". There is no void of unknown future to move into - to allow for movement, no next moment, there is no other than the infinite. The infinite is not divided into dark and light, apparent and void, all is ONE and so it is still and unobserved. The infinite "is" and it is on one static "now". That's why you can\t be aware of it, because awareness is a feed back loop, re-cognition, and that requires time, past present and future for the feed back! Again it's why you sleep and wake, your mind as a fractal copy of the ALL paradoxically reverberates from each contradicting state, chicken, egg, chicken, egg. The paradox never resolves. So you are awake/ aware, with a sense of space-time in mind, and then you sleep with no re-cognition facility. The Sleep peelS as you wake. The infinite explodes to create a void to move into. This is the Big Bang."

    Pretty similar to what Walter Russell stated.

  7. yeah it is ruff in paradise but Sarbdeep still is tealdrunk. ( :
    Well LaVaughn...if Teal says that you have self worth issues than this is it! I think you are a great writer ( : tough.

  8. And, hey, while we're at it, fuck the Fourth Amendment, man. We don't need to be secure in our persons at all. So basically she's justifying the NSA's abuses of power as well.

    But he's right, she should show her bank account, her social, oh, and those Shadow House episodes in which she skinned people alive... and the racist rant. Release it on YouTube. No privacy for teal. She should let it all hang out.

  9. Thank you, GA. And thank you for affirming that I wasn't hearing things.

  10. On a side note, I find him very likeable. I know I said that before. And it's not just because I basically agree with him on this issue. I liked his energy on sight. I don't get the attraction. I mean I can see that she's pretty, but he's light years ahead of her...

    Wait, what blog post did she take down? And did she say something about it being a legal issue. I really am having a hard time understanding her because she's mumbling. She looks so uncomfortable.

  11. you know the no-self-worth- issue: I think we ALL have a srew loose in regards to "our overall emotional evaluation of our own worth." You can find it in 99% of thought-freedom given human beings - the one way or the other. in this way we all can relate to each other. She should have said: me and Lavaughn and the rest of humanity....except the monks in the caves and some others.

    Since Elena mentioned him, I watch his material here and there. Yesterday I found this one- yeah we all suffer together:

    Why so much suffering in the World - Sadhguru

  12. She is not uncomfortable - she looks pissed because Sarbdeep didn't shut up with his privacy although she was talking from universal perspective. And he actually also didn;t shut up when she pointed out that his will be over if he doesn't get over his fear driven privacy fanatism ( :

    Yes like him too.
    But they both look gorgeous together! I have to say.
    beautiful bodies.

  13. I am sorry but my mind is wandering and wondering and this sexual tension between them is freaking me out .
    They must have awesome sex together - I mean there a flashes all over them like nuts...
    Now: that there is no privacy intention from Teal's side - we may get a glimps of this as well. Sarbdeep will be swaned out of his privacy illness very soon. Once he starts to finally LISTEN to the spiritual catalyst.

    On a side note - it looked like that SS was truly freaked out when he heard her saying this. He had a proper shock moment there with awkward laughing and checking on second-hand-boyfriend Blake.
    I can already see how she is bit by bit dominating him and taking away some of his manhood. ...mmmhh or maybe it's just me. I saw too many flashes there.

  14. Looks like it was "A Major Change in Our Family." That's the one where she called Fallon a psychopath right? And you know what? Good. Anything that helps that poor guy get some of his privacy back. I can totally respect his desire to have her defamation of him removed.

    And, yes Golden Andara, self worth issues are fairly universal. I certainly have them. I've met very few people who don't. I think she might need to dig a little deeper as to why I wrote these posts. Or she could just read my open, straight-forward explanation, but then she couldn't keep calling me jel. Man, if there is anyone in the world I'm not jealous of at all, it's teal. I wouldn't want that catalog of psychological maladies for love nor money. The only thing worse than living with a borderline is being one, I think. I find her tragic. But she's a jagged rock that other people cut themselves on.

  15. by the way: in last nights shadow house I got a glimpse of real Teal. It was heart opening to see her mother side take over. Otherwise Justin was saying words for 1 hour without saying anything except, that "he saw a lot and that all this conspiracy shit is true." This quoted half sentence was expressed in thousand ways with different words for one fucking hour. I didn't get anything out of this. Except that Justin is afraid that they gonna kill m.
    I don't know -very confusing episode.

  16. ohhhhhhh

    "But she's a jagged rock that other people cut themselves on."

  17. Oh, she definitely sounded angry. She does not like it when people disagree with her and aren't intimidated by her 11th dimensional or Arcturian Adonai Eucharist perspective -- whatever perspective she's coming from that makes her know better than everybody else what's good for them.

    I don't know. I'll have to watch it again. He seems like a pretty grounded, centered guy. And sex only wins for so long.

  18. I think it is also beneficial to Teal that she took it down.
    We will never know if that is the result of Fallon's request or her growing self awarness.

  19. I'm thinking it was Fallon. She did not seem happy about taking that down.

    So I wonder if she'll be releasing that Shadow House on YouTube. I mean, why would she keep it private? Or why would Justin? Just because they're all out to get him doesn't mean he shouldn't let it all hang out. He should also really post his social. Fuck privacy, man.

  20. Yes grounded, centred guy. I hope they meet in the middle and he takes off her sharp edges. They are a beautiful couple. I do wish them the best. I guess it depends how much balls he has. Because Teal is to 70% a man as well - in case some missed out on that! Or shall I say - radiates a lot of male energy. It switches constantly - but always radical states.

  21. As far as I am concerned, she is not able to release it because Fallon is in it. I think that all her public youtube shadow house uploads do not feature Fallon (I could be wrong, not in a mood to check). I doubt that all the guys signed an agreement upfront the live stream. So they would probably also need Cameron's agreement. I think this is the end of your public shadow house release dream!

  22. I know I'm going to have to watch that again at some point when I can hopefully get it to play more smoothly. And at the same time, I really don't want to. It's just cringetastic. I'm not one of these people who watches reality shows. I hate them. I just don't have that kind of voyeuristic need to see all that. I'm too empathic. Seeing other people's discomfort makes me uncomfortable. I'm a big believer in privacy and not just my own. Keep a little of the mystery, is all I'm sayin.' TMI!

  23. And, honest to God, if that's the reason, I'm all about it. As I said before, I was glad Fallon took that weird interview down. That's another one that was hard for me to get through. The informational value on some serious issues raised by teal's treatment of him were worth knowing, but I could only watch a little at a time. It was just painful. So I hope he's exercising his right to close the book on this chapter of his life. I really do. I raise the issue of the Shadow House things only because I think things like her infamous racist rant go down the memory hole to protect no one but teal. Suddenly she's all about privacy when it's that frigging embarrassing.

  24. I also think she should post her bank account and her social security number, because, hey, money is just universal energy, right? And if she's committed to the open, flowing state of the universe, she'd be in total alignment and impervious to, say, identity theft right? And come to think of it, how can anyone steal anyone's identity, since we're all one, right? We don't really have identities to steal, right? Right?

  25. She ain't no dumb.
    After online sunchro workshop
    shadow house
    teal blog
    Tea with Teal ...
    I am slightly overdosed. I need a walk at the lake
    Hopefully I don't see a swan.

  26. LOL

    Enjoy. Thanks for sharing that. Darkly fascinating like all things teal.

  27. I d o n ' t know
    I hope she will not post her stuff. I do get the point that her brain is wired in a strange way...that privacy means torture etc. And btw! It did work for her because when Graciella started to read her diaries (no privacy), Graciella became aware of Fallon/Jared's behavior and she made it public in one of the shadow house episodes. I DO GET IT in this regard. However, Teal must have such aversion to "boring" that she does everything in an extreme way. It feels to me like a boat which shakes from one side to the other. .. until it finds it's balance. So considering that this whole "fuck privacy, be open" thing is NOT a marketing strategy and comes purely from her current understanding of "it is safer than having secrets"... she is probably right now pendling to one extreme side (she is the fat boat right!). Sarbdeep and nature may bring it into balance.
    But a little birdy on my shoulder says: NO FUCKING WAY

  28. Here's the thing, GA. Again I would say, do a little reading on borderline personality disorder. No relationship is going to fix her problem of bouncing between extremes. That's the disorder. Most therapists don't want to treat borderlines because they can't help them and because trying to is torture for the therapist. Again, my father ran a halfway house on the Bowery. He was treating a lot of junky ex-cons. And he was good with that. But borderlines? God no. Junky ex-con? Sure. Borderline? Please let that be someone else's problem. That was my father. Sarbdeep seems like a lovely man who cares about this woman. But he's out of his depth here just as any one of us would be.

  29. I listened to this podcast on privacy and from 18:26, I was having a sick feeling of nausea. This exposure was too much for me. And why did she keep it secret that she was being abused my inner child cries? And then they both threw out stuff at each other including the Fallon revelation. She rattles and I know she has fangs. And he probably has them too.

  30. "And he probably has them too."

    He must be a shape shifter as I cannot see one singel saber-tooth. But hey - we all already know that he is a british spy bond and bound to Teal. The question is: based on love or james-like ( ;

    I do agree - it was uncomfortable to watch because they hit a layer there which both surprised (I think) - not in a good way.

    LaVaughn - I keep forgetting about the borderline. That is probably my own borderline trying to fog my senses :S

  31. Thank you for this very informative blog and all these insightful comments. I've been following Teal somewhat over the past months since I found some of her video's on YouTube. I could never get into the Shadow House episodes as they are too lengthy and I'm not a reality-show kind of person (don't even have the patience to watch TV). Did read some of her blog posts for a while but as I got more familiar with her message I felt more and more uncomfortable with her focus on negativity, problems and incessant retelling of the negative story. Shadow work is valuable to some extent, but at some point you have to be willing to give it all up. To give up the story and start telling a new one. It seems to me that Teal is not willing to give up on the momentum of her story at all, as she has heavily invested her identity into it. She needs the story to retain and justify her current identity, and is thus not able to refocus and let go. The negative focus pushed me away as I am no longer able to draw positive inspiration from her messages.
    However I was curious about this man that she married and watched the latest podcast episode on Privacy. I was shocked by the amount of passive aggressive manipulation that she directed at him, invalidating his experience, using intimidating spiritual slang to justify her own point of view as the only correct one. Luckily he didn't fall for it and I think he was even taken by surprise about her disrespect for his truth. It strikes me as funny that she pretends to speak for "Universal Perspective" as having some kind of opinion. She states that "from a U.P., privacy is constricting". Well, this made me laugh as the definition of "Universal Perspective" is that it doesn't have any opinion of its own. It's inclusive of ALL perspectives and validates ALL perspectives as just that. U.P. doesn't attach definitions like "constricting" to a perspective, because it doesn't compare its own perspectives in those terms. It was obvious that she was speaking from her own fearful perspective, as her story causes her to feel safety in numbers. However much she contested Sarpdeep's point of view, I don't believe for a minute that she would give up her privacy if it would put her son at risk. She has expressed fear for his safety at some point, and privacy regarding his school, transportation and whereabouts are totally justified. However from her own point of view this should all be disclosed for the sake of validating her own perspective? I don't think she would take it that far. I liked Sarpdeep and I hope he continues to stand his ground and not be intimidated by any claims of "higher than you perspective". But I wouldn't be surprised if we see a divorce coming very soon.
    Anyway, just wanted to add my comments. I do not identify with the term "hater" but I cannot stop people from seeing what they see. What you see in others exists in you, and that understanding helps me on a daily basis to continue to focus on happiness and joy!

  32. Mira: loud nod of assent from here.

  33. "I was shocked by the amount of passive aggressive manipulation that she directed at him, invalidating his experience, using intimidating spiritual slang to justify her own point of view as the only correct one."

    Exactly, Mira. I can't say I was shocked, though, because I'm familiar with her shtick by now. Still, excruciating to see it play out so explicitly.

    "It strikes me as funny that she pretends to speak for 'Universal Perspective' as having some kind of opinion. She states that 'from a U.P., privacy is constricting'. Well, this made me laugh as the definition of 'Universal Perspective' is that it doesn't have any opinion of its own. It's inclusive of ALL perspectives and validates ALL perspectives as just that."

    Ding, ding, ding!!! PRECISELY! Oh, well said, Mira. Well said.

  34. "And then they both threw out stuff at each other including the Fallon revelation."

    Do you mean the thing about the blog post, me2yesu, or was there something else? I know I missed a lot of this for 2 reasons: 1) the video was glitchy for some reason, 2) I found the whole thing excruciating and kept tuning things out because I just couldn't stand it.

  35. "Do you mean the thing about the blog post, me2yesu, or was there something else?"

    LaVaughn, I meant about how SS threw out the "problem" of her old boyfriend and online episodes I took to be shadow house with with Fallon causing her trouble. It looked to me that he threw that out in a barbed way in response to her needling.

    That the arrows were unquivered based on her demands and definitions of privacy and her needs and her mission and all that does not mean SS will be blameless in action. There is a certain kind of crazy making that certain character styles elicit. It is frightening because there can actually be an abuser created in the frustration.

    The thing about it, what GA calls their hot chemistry looks like lurking gas and flames to burn, knives and forks to carve, fangs to sink in vulnerarble spots. I have seen that up close. That is what makes me feel the nausea.

    Why does Teal want to act all this out publically? Intimacy is not what she is likely to gain with this tete a tete on camera. That she already claims to be having problems with her partner and said so is not a happy sign. She may gather supporters to show SS was "wrong". IMO SS may be pushed IMO to do things he considers very ugly...she'll make sure of that if I know her style (not 11 dimensional Arcturain but very earthling mean girls).

  36. "Why does Teal want to act all this out publically? Intimacy is not what she is likely to gain with this tete a tete on camera. That she already claims to be having problems with her partner and said so is not a happy sign. She may gather supporters to show SS was "wrong". IMO SS may be pushed IMO to do things he considers very ugly...she'll make sure of that if I know her style (not 11 dimensional Arcturain but very earthling mean girls)."

    Good observation, me thinks. Aside from the basic exhibitionism that seems to mean she wants everything in front of a camera, this is her turf, this format. And it's how she has, many times over, gathered the support of her fans to reinforce and validate her in any conflict. I skimmed the YouTube comments, though, and they're not all so fawning.

  37. I had some second thoughts on their Tea debate. Sarbdeep comes from a professional background where privacy is EVERYTHING built upon. Teal choose a path were publicity is EVERYTHING built upon. The only possible way for both to coexist with such different focuses is to have a time for public information and know the time for privacy. Both need shift a bit to the left and right. Otherwise this beautiful looking couple will go down very soon. They disagree on a very basic need. I do not see SS to move further into public throw outs. I think that telling the story of his father etc was like standing in a bathrobe at the train station. His personality seems very respectful towards the space of others but he also requests this for himself. Teal challenges his control about it. I remember Mark always stayed far away as he could from the camera. Fallon went straight into it (and he liked it as well for a while) and Mr. Swan can be very outgoing but also loves his retreat which seems holy to him (and i so understand). It is holy to him, not driven by fear how Teal put it. I cannot see Mr. Swan putting himself out there like Teal. He would loose ALL of his qualifications as a bodyguard, a housekeeper for superstars or any other position connected to celebrities, moviestars or spiritual top gurus.

    But there is a chance that Teal respects his wish and does not sell his private life to the public to get more fans and fame and more more more "transparency". It's plain reality show marketing and as LaVaughn stated....borderlinish extreme behavoir.

  38. And isn't it ironic... don't you think

    Bodyguard: Protecting the privacy and personal data of our customers

    Now Teal's desire for a bodyguard got manifested as a super hot Sarbdeep with a great last name - marriage material. So she wants the bodyguard who is all about rotecting the privacy, protecting the personal space around the body and she requests that at the same time he needs to also do the exact opposite. Not to mention that wishing for somebody to protect her, focus on her 24/7 is not in harmony to her universal truth of 24 hours openness.

    Somebody is contradicting herself I believe.
    But I am sure there is also a leading edge explanation for this phenomena.

  39. Here's the thing Golden Andara, I knew this was gonna be a problem when I read the thing about his wedding vows, as I referenced in my last blog post. He wasn't comfortable. She "informed him that the discomfort is a sign of expansion" and posted his vows. She just ran right over him. She runs over everybody. And what horrifies me is that it's obvious she's done this with clients like the woman who committed suicide. She arrogates to herself "source perspective" and completely invalidates people, as if somehow, they can't access "source perspective" themselves. It's abusive. It's disempowering. It's something I can't take lightly or hope will get better as she goes along. To my way of thinking this is a profound breach of ethics. It's power theft. And when she's working with someone vulnerable, it's reckless, it's dangerous.

    It's funny. I remember reading a while ago that the career with the greatest incidence of narcissistic personality indicators is reality television. It trumps every other area of entertainment. And here's the thing, Madonna is more discreet than teal. Ma "I love my pussy" donna. Even Madonna knows that there are things you withhold from the public. It takes a very particular mindset to want to expose yourself the way people do in reality shows. It's a rather staggering need for attention. And let's face it, teal has redefined "new age leader" into reality show star. I've never seen anything like it. I've just never seen anything like it. It's horrifying.

  40. Oh, you mean actual irony -- not let me just spout the word ironic every few sentences like some strange verbal tic.

  41. "And let's face it, teal has redefined "new age leader" into reality show star"

    Who knows - Bravo Tv may knock on her door one day and they will come up with a show called "The Swans are loose" IF Sarbdeep is still around. I don't see her let go of this name.

    Yes I agree - very well crafted sentence LaVaughn.

    And this wedding vow thing gave even hard core Tealers some shiver. I believe. I H O P E

    People who constantly contradict themselves need desperatly the word "irony" to avoid deleting themselves so to speak.

  42. "People who constantly contradict themselves need desperatly the word 'irony' to avoid deleting themselves so to speak."

    Oh, girlfriend. That is golden.

  43. Wow, you are on fire today!
    Just had my cup of tea with the Swans. So...where do i start?...Should we also poo and pee in front of everybody without any "constriction" or consideration like babies do, before they get introduced to certain civilized ways of society (not everything about our society is bad, I believe, but I've noticed Teal is very resistant to it)?
    We are not totally transparent in this reality, and who says we should be? Universal Truth ambassador? Huh! No kidding!
    Our bodies are not totally open, and they are not transparent yet. Nature has designed us this way- our insides are inside...and while you can find them beautiful from some artistic perspective (Jack the Ripper was fond of that), I am glad my bowels are not exposed and all the other internal processes too. What value is there in putting all the dirty laundry for everyone on display anyway, it only creates more drama most of the time?... I'm not saying that issues should be suppressed or buried, no, deal with them and with the people involved, but why do you have such need for an exposure, for the rest of the world to witness? Maybe after you've resolved those issues and learned your lessons, you can share the experience with others who might be interested ( without forcing your "transparency" on everyone) while referring to the stuff, but still, no need to give ALL the private or intimate details, non? Some things are simply inappropriate to share, plus dwelling on more and more negative stuff makes your audience "lose their hi vibrations" potentially as well.

  44. This comment has been removed by the author.

  45. I know some still find this woman pretty and attractive but now all i see is a snaky creature who enjoys mind-fuck better than your usual one, I suspect. And how vile she looks when Sarbdeep dares to say "I disagree...". Sometimes she doesn't answer but just glares at him as if trying to hypnotize him so he thinks her way too. Kudos to Sarbs for standing his ground while remaining respectful and without losing his composure, he's got a strong spine compared to some other male "bendables" who can hardly say something legible when in front of a sexual aggressive female. If you are completely open with people like her, then you run the risk that everything you do or say will be twisted and used against you at some point. There is not an ounce of "kindness vibe" I detect from her....esp with these videos. The vibe is hostile... She actually creeps me out at times, like with the first podcast I've noticed how sometimes she freezes and stares in the camera, it feels as if she is looking at you directly and it is very uncomfortable- the look she gives is unpleasant. Like this one with their first episode at 10:45 ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k3or9NR_IGI), she puts down her cup and turns to face you....and freezes, then turns away briefly, then gives this small treacherous smile....It repeats a few times more after that. And in the newer video she looks even more unfriendly, throughout the whole time...Am I just imagining things now? I don't mean to judge her looks, but it's facial expressions that can say a lot. Her eyes are devoid of warmth, and the way her mouth firmly closes at times forming a bitter line with her lips ( lot's of constriction there!). What is beautiful about that? Do you see an inner beauty emanating? Am I blind here? Are all Arcturians like that? Then who knows what truly their agenda is....Beware...
    There are some men who don't find her attractive at all. One said her beauty has a lizard-like quality, it's pretty colored to look at, from a certain distance...but you don't feel like getting too close or touching her.
    Actually, when I saw her video for the first time (one of her older one, less glossy, more goth make-up, etc), I didn't even think she was all that beautiful in a true sense, striking maybe...Sometimes you come across this spiritually infused beauty, and it inspires, it awakens some higher aspirations in you...such women become muses to artists, to poets...while other women deliberately use their sexuality in such ways that only "stimulate" lower chakras, aimed at the mediocre masses and their animalistic instincts instead...
    I was actually surprised she was a model cs usually agencies go for a different type. Or maybe it was because right before her video I was watching all the other "spiritual" videos (I was on a youtube quest that day, discovering the curious abundance of the various cyber teachers). It was thru Leija Turunen videos (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U-kWApQWT3A) I found Teal in "related" column. I had also watched beautiful Gigi Young ( had a successful modelling career) right before and some other "models-turned-gurus" (what's up with the trend?). And Leija is very good-looking and such a ray of sunshine compared to our Shadow Lady with her darker energy (I'm not a huge fan or anything but there is a contrast). So it was hard to impress me much with looks by then. But actually in one of her videos, Leija also mentioned she chose this particular "meat suit" so more people would pay attention to what she says...She has never referred to what kind of projection she is though...Just for the record, she'd started making videos way before Teal.

  46. Hello All! It's been a while, but I sure do appreciate your updated commentary.

  47. Tea Time with Teal S and Sarb S:
    Snake vs. Swan

  48. Elena, I also found Leija Turunen videos just before I stumbled onto Teal. I really enjoyed listening to her for a time while she was with still with her first husband, but haven't followed her much lately. FWIW, Leija once mentioned in a video that she is a Pleiadian. She claims she was visited by them as confirmation, but I get the impression that she doesn't push that much anymore. It is interesting to note that Leija posted her Pleiadian admission video she made with her previous husband long before TEAL went viral with her Arcturian schtick. Leija has such a positive energy and radiates true beauty. IMO she has a genuine warmth behind her eyes. This is in stark contrast to the "lizard like" qualities of Teal. Teal has a VERY creepy look to me as well. Her eyes have always looked either dead to me or like the eyes of a woman who is completely unhinged. Her camera stares to me seem cold and calculating and dare I say EVIL personified at times. She gives off an icky vibe that I wouldn't want to be in the same room with for very long let alone vulnerable in front of a camera with. There is no doubt that TEAL uses personal information and vulnerabilities to vindictively mind f*Ck whenever she pleases. If Sarbdeep is wise, he would never give her enough ammo to use against him later.... IN AN EXPLOITATIVE PUBLIC SETTING NO LESS.
    Elena I almost died laughing when I read your joker posts with all the quotes. The thing is, I had already thought the EXACT same thing about Teal's creepy Joker like grin in that book picture where she is dressed in the red silk pajamas. I had to laugh someone else had come to the same conclusion!! :)

  49. HAHAHA....
    "Snake vs. Swan"


  50. Hi Kevin! :-)
    Thank you for clarification- I haven't seen all of her (Leija's) videos, so haven't heard about the Pleiadian/ alien connection. From what I've heard, I wasn't able to detect much of that kind of "I'm sooo special, famous, luminary, etc" in her way more spontaneous, unscripted videos and from her website. She's become more private and less youtube active once pregnant, I think she is about to deliver now.

  51. Thanks for your reply, Kevin. It's reassuring to hear more men's perspectives, men who aren't just blinded with cheap superficial tactics and taken with fake wisdom proclaimed with such confidence and self-righteousness just because it's coming out of teal like vixens. Cs, ya know, if it's just us girls here, we are nothing more but jelly b****. :-D

  52. From the Lord of the Rings book by Tolkien:

    Learn now the lore of Living Creatures!
    First name the four, the free peoples:
    Eldest of all, the elf-children;
    Dwarf the delver, dark are his houses;
    Ent the earthborn, old as mountains;
    Man the mortal, master of horses:

    Beaver the builder, buck the leaper,
    Bear bee-hunter, boar the fighter;
    Hound is hungry, hare is fearful…

    Eagle in eyrie, ox in pasture,
    Hart horn-crowned; hawk is swiftest
    Swan the whitest, serpent coldest…

    *(funny how they share the same last line)

    Image of Serpent and the Swan (very symbolic, btw :)


    And finally, an actual video (after this snake tries to attack the bird, it retreats in the shadow for some "work" hehe)


  53. "Snake vs. Swan"
    hahahhaa. Well I agree, her facial expressions go from zoomed out to starr to death, I hate you, I love you, I hate you again, I am so awesome, I hate you, Did I flash my skirt already, are my boobs right. I do understand you Elena. But I find it pretty easy to see beauty in everything - especially bodies. Teal is beautiful, SS as well although she tries to kill all of us with her eyes at some point. Still beautiful. ( :
    Leija was, is and always will be annoying. Very conscious female as well. Never liked her icy smile and starring eyes - constantly throwing herself in the selfi obsessed picture generation. Anyhow - just not my cup of Tea - but hope she will have a great time with the baby very soon.

    "The thing about it, what GA calls their hot chemistry looks like lurking gas and flames to burn, knives and forks to carve, fangs to sink in vulnerarble spots. I have seen that up close. That is what makes me feel the nausea. "
    I can see this little war in Teal - I do. Sarbdeep reminds me of a guy who loves sb and cares and loves and is strongly rooted in the earth and gently stands his ground when Tea and Teal go for attack, bit, scratch on a very subtile level. It will not change his standpoint. Very interesting to watch. Teal's famous hypnotizing squeezing eyes movement (which we know well from her half backed photoshoots) seems to have no effect on SS. He is just standing there gently and talking, exchanging. And he talks and relates to Teal not to the Acturian-though-form. But he did have a little shocker there didn't he hahahaha.
    Teal would make a great vampire, she would also be perfect in the xena role, she has some snow white qualities and sometimes she seems to care like pocahontas.

  54. ... but I just can't figure her intensions. I cannot feel it. Which is like "rare". It only happens when I deal with people who constantly change their whole personality in a split second. You are dealing with many people in one. Once you tuned in to one of them and start talking, this personality already left und there is another one. I can relate easily to all kinds of thought personalities but it is SO EXHAUSTING and unless you feel in love with all of them, you will have a hard time to have a good time next to this person.

    In my eyes, the whole Teal with Tea is EYE OPENING. If we just consider for one second that she truly tuned into the "universal perspective" with a tiny touch of self framing to keep a selective perspective..... this universe would be a bitch. How else can sb tuned into the universal perspective try to kill lovely SS with eyes, icy head movements and verbal threats spoken with the most lovely, sweetest, giggling voice.

    It takes a lot of practice - I tell you that. hahahaha

    And SS not being a dumb one, felt it 300%. His last noises of surprise, shock and exhaustion at the end of the video tell it ALL!

  55. Well, in the end, Golden A, personally, I've realized ALL of these new-sprung youtube gurus, Starseeds, Universal Mind representatives with their teachings and their divine guidance, they all annoy me after a certain point, hahaha. Yeah, it was entertaining to try and figure out these different personalities, some of them better than others, with their different ways (everybody's got their own style on how to blow one's nose, so to speak) behind the image or even behind the "transparency", but there are better things to do in life. Like, trying to figure out yourself and your own conflicting parts, and your own REAL intentions, behind all the pretty rationalization. Are we trying to redirect our attention from our own issues maybe, by focusing on someone else's instead, at least at certain times? What a waste of time for the most part, really, listening to them, young cocky know-it-all things at 25 years of age? Pleaaaseee! It was fun to look into this trend closely, just for educational purposes, because it is happening, unique to our times in our society...but that's it. It's much more fun to enjoy your tea with the real people. :-)) And those real people along with your own life happen to be the best teachers, i think.

  56. I see myself as a spiritual hitchhiker. I found amazing aha moments in youtube as I found and find in the life of matter around me. When I learnt something from Teal than this is it:

    Pedestaling is messy activity of a confused mind.
    Everything you put up high will have to come down.
    And it hurts to observe and feel it but I did it myself.

    This never ending hopeful feeling when you encounter some thought structures (embodied or untouchable) which restructure your whole self told story... is kind of addictive.

    I remember this game which the Voyager vulcan member Tuvok used to play. He built a structure with little metal sticks and it looks all chaotic. Once he puts a single stick in a certain position this whole thing morphs into a symmetrical structure of perfection. If you see the sticks as though constructs I am still looking for the right placement of thought to perceive the perfect symmetrical structure (makes sense?)

    However the best moments in my life where never linked to thought activity. It was the moment when I forget who and what I am and nothing exists except a feeling of euphoric expansion.... until I remember my story again ) :

    :D Nature triggers me into these states of mind when the mind is collapsing into itself, mass destruction ends with unnamed and unrecognized perfection. This desireless state is awesome. I bet that Buddhas wishfullfilling jewels are leading to a non-wishful state. All movement will die because the wish is recording frames.

    Well I guess Teal Scott turned into a teal hobby & entertainment.
    I realize that there is nothing she can teach me other than don't follow teachers.

    Your teacher will never call him or herself teacher in the first place.
    you are right. My granny throws out wisdom like a cannon. She never asked me for a penny and never claimed to be from Mars either.

  57. Ok, not a complete waste of time: there were some sound suggestions here and there shared by most of them, or some topics raised which inspired me to do my own research more in depth and I did learn something new, like some interesting health foods or practices I've never heard about before, for one....that sort of thing.

    As for Teal's so called great ability to break down some complicated material into a simple, understood by the majority material....well, I believe the nature of the Universe, and the Source, and human beigns and how it all works is not that simple...and I think she knows this, but well, "you just gotta make people feel better". Reaching enlightenement is not easy, it's a long and sometimes lonely road, affecting your reality is possible once you are more aware, but bending it the way you want all the time is not gonna happen. There are so many forces involved...

    All the "structures" are unstable, at least in this world. ;-)

  58. "However the best moments in my life where never linked to thought activity. It was the moment when I forget who and what I am and nothing exists except a feeling of euphoric expansion.... until I remember my story again ) :"


  59. When I have those rare moments of clarity (yes, happens in Nature mostly- stargazing while lying on the grass at night, swimming in the ocean...)), when I let go of the self, rid myself of the petty little ego-drives that get in my way, I find myself so much more in tune with the natural harmony...But when the focus is entirely on the traffic, or some problems, or on the appointment I'm rushing to, or on Teal, or whatever else my mind may include, those manifistations of the ego are like the bright lights of the city that block out the stars. The stars are still there-I just can't see them anymore.
    But when I focus beyond the self, the interference drops away and suddenly I have an access to a much grander form of awareness and how fully a part of this I am and always remain... I begin to sense the connection of it all, and my place within it all, but only by removing myself from the centre. :-) And when I cling to the self, I feel neurotic, alienated, insecure.

  60. Teal has a very promising hook:
    "My job is to help people find their happiness", she states at her website. She makes complicated things sound simple and easy and gives manuals to how live the life of your dreams and be happy and suggest to speed up your bloody painful process by being the catalyst BUT you need to pay attention to HER. Such a deep core desire of the human existence. Big promise - no wonder there is so much desire activity around her and focused on her - mine too. Not so anymore. And then there is the very unfortunate situation that by following her, you get all her private crap and dark thougths and whatever thrown at you as well. Most of all - her own confusion - obviously - because she doesn't sound happy most of the time.

    I"ll go back to my mountains.

    I guess the appearance of nature is so successful of deleting concepts because nature doesn't promise anything to the mind. It just IS and when focused on nature the mind reeeeellllaaaaaxxxeeesss and the tiny little perception dot turns into all that is until you focus again - there is the dot and the dot perceives and cuts and names and does stuff. The Indigenous Australians are right when stating that EVERY THING starts with a dot. So does the flower of life.

  61. YES Elena - I understand. Same experience here on this side of the planet. A lot.

  62. Well said, esp about nature and the flower of life and that tiny "."
    "I will go back to my mountains". Are you going for a walk literally now or you mean metaphorically your mountains to climb? In both cases, enjoy!:-)

    I will add one postscript. I've read of studies done with youngsters-not with children, but with chimps-that have profound implications for our species and our life on this planet. The scientists behind the research know what it takes to raise a healthy baby chimp with a real mother-all the nutrition and calories and so on. So the create a wire mother with maybe a bit of fur, a perch like an arm across the chest, and nipples attached to a sort of baby bottle, supplying that baby chimp with all the nutrients that would come from a real mother's milk, maybe even more. But despite the fact that baby chimps can climb up on their "Wire Mothers" and be safe and get all the nutrients, the same basic protection from the environment they'd get from the real mothers, the chimps with the wire mothers wither and die (yeah, i know, what a cruel experiment).
    My fear is this: if we cover more of our planet with concrete and steel, as we wire our homes with more and more cables that take the place of more intimate interactions, as we give our children more and more stuff and less and less time, as we go further and further away from the kind of simplicity I knew as a child, our Earth will become for us the Wire Mother, and our souls will wither and die as a result....

  63. "My job is to help people find their happiness"

    See, Golden Andara, my problems with teal start right there. My five minutes of interest in what teal had to say was because at first blush, she seemed like someone who was interested in dealing with her shadow and living an authentic life. I was disabused of that misperception pretty quickly. If that statement had been the first thing I read from her, though, I wouldn't have read any further. Happiness is ephemeral. To my way of thinking, it's a fairly shallow pursuit. I'm far more interested in what will help people live authentically, which is not about transitory emotional states. I think it's part of the very Western, veal calf existence we live in this country that we think a life of ease and happiness is a realistic and valuable pursuit. And I definitely fell into that trap in my first flirtations with the "new age." I was attracted to the idea, too, that I could insulate myself from pain if I could just learn to think properly and magnetize my designer life. That did not work out. At all. And that's when my real spiritual journey started.

    "...those manifistations of the ego are like the bright lights of the city that block out the stars. The stars are still there-I just can't see them anymore."

    Yes, yes, yes, yes... Thank-you for this. Something to contemplate.

  64. Leija is not spiritual. Don't dare to disagree with her or feel her wrath (much like Teal). Leija went on an anti-American rant because she was denied a visa to enter the states to do her tour in NY and other cities a few months ago. Very un-spiritual. Also, much like Teal, she loves presents and was having her doting fans send her expensive baby stuff like strollers, etc. (She forgot to thank them). She sure loves to take selfies and loves the attention centered around her. I hope that motherhood keeps her busy. Also, Jordan should really get some kind of job because he needs to pitch in and support the baby.
    Teal and Sarbdeep will be headed for divorce as soon as the rosy colored glasses come off. She is clearly manipulating him in the videos in a very passive aggressive way. I don't believe that Teal believes half of the stuff she says (about always airing your dirty laundry publicly.) I also don't believe that Winter was born an indigo child. Where is the father? Why isn't he battling for custody? And what happened with Teal's move to the UK? Sarbdeep, being a UK citizen, is only allowed to stay in the US for 90 days as a visitor and if he stays past those 90 days, he's considered illegal. (I work as a paralegal at an immigration lawyer's office in NJ and see these cases a lot.)

  65. Oh, GA, I've had plenty of my "aha" moments curtesy of youtube, but more often that happens not when I'm listening to some you-tuber personality, but those people who have lives mostly outside of cyber presence. They might be scientists who've discovered the spiritual side of things, people who come from some fascinating backgrounds, people with a long practice in the area of their expertise I might be curious about, those with lots of valuable experience, people who truly follow their passion regardless of the outcome...some are not even aware they are now on youtube, they are not the ones behind the uploads, or it can be some amazing well made documentary, some great Nature footage, an interesting movie....
    LaVaughn: To my way of thinking, it's a fairly shallow pursuit.

    Yeah...I hear you. Life is tough and it's better to accept it sooner rather than later. Shit happens. And to embrace the crap that we are the sole creators of everything there is, it's bullshit and operating in the real world on such wishful thinking can not only be too costly, it can be dangerous too.
    We all have our shadows, our personal demons (and the more you aware of them, the more easily you recognizing them in others, sometimes in much exaggerated form, but still...and it is what triggers us and well, how we deal with this varies).
    Some try to pretend not to know that there is this darkness ever present inside, even if they do know. It's hard to step close enough to look even one demon in the eye.
    Sometimes I have this lingering suspicion, that Nature might be fooling with us here on this planet. Are we principal players with pivotal roles in her scenario (as we fervently hope) or merely inconsequential afterthaughts with not the slightest impact on her agenda (as we often fear)?
    We are all a reservoir of rage, dissatisfaction, self-loathing, unhappiness, etc. I think there is some darkness in everyone, though the "some" ranges widely. Darkness can explode in nuclear proportions and with disastrous consequences or make itself felt in small, subtle, irritating ways, depending on the day, the time, the situation, and who's in the room..
    Remember that discussion about the initial flaw in the grand Design of things here? Where is this darkness coming from if God is Light and Love....

  66. Golden Andara said... "I remember this game which the Voyager vulcan member Tuvok used to play. He built a structure with little metal sticks and it looks all chaotic. Once he puts a single stick in a certain position this whole thing morphs into a symmetrical structure of perfection. If you see the sticks as though constructs I am still looking for the right placement of thought to perceive the perfect symmetrical structure (makes sense?)"

    Boy, it sure makes sense to me! That is EXACTLY what I have been trying to do for years with my own 'spiritual hitchhiking'! I LOVE that analogy!!

    Also "My granny throws out wisdom like a cannon." Hahahahaha... what a great granny to have!!

  67. Oh, I was not advocating Leija, I wrote just above: "all the other "spiritual" videos" for a reason. ;-) My point was that Teal isn't the only one "pretty giggling guide" out there on youtube, model-turned-The teacher. Although she has certainly created a league of her own with her unique presence, I'll give her that.

  68. Hi Elena Zh, my response wasn't toward you.. it was in general because I have seen a few people mention Leija. I would put her on the same level as Teal in terms of delusions of grandeur and narcissism.

  69. Thanks, chsdolls, for replying to me now and for your input. I see your point. I don't know her personally, haven't read her blogs or glimpsed behind the curtain really. I think pretty much anyone who keeps uploading their own videos teaching other people how to live, needs to have a "healthy dose" of narcissism and feelings of grandeur, to have such confidence in his/her "knowing things". It's a growing epidemic these days. But these girls are still young and pretty and Leija, I doubt she's ever faced any real challenges in her life (of course everything is relative and I don't wish her anything truly unpleasant), she was born in a safe stable country, to a stable family (they seem very close, that Turunen bunch), young, healthy, beautiful- of course she's been a bubbling "positivity" manifested till now. Maybe with a child on a way and nothing stable yet in terms of employment, she'd change some of her sunny outlooks, her general worldview and her ways. We all live and learn.

  70. According to Teal, Winter was not born an indigo child- he is crystal, whatever it means, an upgraded version, I suppose. That's why at four he is fit to attend the Dead Sea Scrolls exhibit. hehe

  71. On the crystal children, whatever it means, I believe there is a real phenomenon here, as with the indigos. My daughter fits the crystal definitions to a t. I did the aura questionaires and everything back in the day and I'm basically a blue/indigo. I've been told I was a "scout" which is to say an early indigo, before the wave in '72. I've worked with a lot of indigo kids. I feel such affinity for them. I think the only reason I'm a "blue" is that I had no choice but to suppress a lot my indigo traits to culturally survive my generation and educational process. It's a thing. I'm pretty convinced of it, even though I think people can get way too caught up in rigid definitions and ego attachment to it. It's helpful mostly from a place of trying to parent these kids. They have some rather special challenges and they're really challenged by the way schools work, just like I was. So a lot of them end up labeled and medicated. Pretty unfortunate really. I posted something on this a while ago, although I see now that the Doreen Virtue interview was pulled from YouTube. Oh well. Can't keep up with all that.


    On the shadow thing, Elena, we are in lockstep agreement. I think it's very crucial work. You can't be whole without your shadow. Can't do it. And your instincts will be stunted and hobbled. And the more in denial of your shadow you, the more you will encounter it. It will demand your attention by sneaking up in that huge blind spot you've created by insisting it's not there. Been there. Done that. Bought the t-shirt.

  72. Interesting...Yep, being a pioneer is never easy, you've earned your "blue"..
    I do encounter some of these kids with their just mind-blowing gifts and insights. But maybe 150 years ago, or in the Renaissance Era, there were also plenty of advanced souls coming in, in fact we know some of them, but so many of those children back then remained unknown, or even never survived the early years..times were different, even worse for the most kids than now perhaps.
    You've probably heard of Delores Cannon and her three waves of volunteers too.
    Oh I was meaning to ask you, can you feel our energy or something else just from our comments here?:-)

  73. Lavaughn invited me here and I appreciate being able to write here. I am definitely still being processed out of trauma I cannot seem to let go yet.

    I always appreciated that Jung introduced me to the idea of Shadow. Shadow and light in patterns because in form we see a shadow reflected off our surface which IMO is what this Divine matrix is... the reflections off all us diamonds. Denying the shadow is just denying what we cannot love in ourselves. In this time of synthetic memes we create loads of flack and blind spots of self denial.

    I personally in shadow have a narcissist I fell in love with as a baby. I wanted to be just like her but then realized I believed she was awful. It is a quandry. My writing here is because my giving over of love did match a woman unable to feel her own love. She was manipulative and I gave her my power.
    My thoughts...I am attracted to Teal because she looks like the characteristics I fell in love with then hated then now am attempting reconciliation.

    I contrast myself to hitchhiker as a wanderer. There is a funny twist to karma that links us with "narcissm"(not singular but the spirit of separation from own energy supply). Sometimes the contrats teaches us to now seek within. wanderers need strong source supply. Maybe I am just now desiring to become a wanderer of strong self sovereign knowing??

    It is also about discernmenet and boundaries. But one has to move through a strange dance to become capable of useful boundaries. That is to me maybe knowing how to decide the kind of energy we want to play in?

    Narcissm attacks vulnerability in it's deep defense. Any deep true and honest soft and honorable revelation of the self that is given to the narcissist will be flung back hurtfully. This taking of our soft truth and the twisted flinging back in derision is soo hurtful we will capitulate and take the narcissits substitution.

    Narcissm is the game of thieves who are pitiable but noxious. Any close beloved's energy is available and must be taken (cannot live without that!!!) I am in proximity because of my attraction. The narcissit is good at stimulating attraction.

    I feel I was traumatized like all of us are and it feels shameful. I feel that by owning my shadow, I can clear the resistance of my shame to receiving the energy of that we call God or source (as I undertand the ineffable). Adam and Eve in the story hid from God. Then we started being narcissistic as evidenced by what is seen now all over. But only the one hiding can stop and the one hiding needs the energy of God. So self love can be compassion for the hidden parts and clear the blocks to God.

    The end result IMO is that we start lighting up from within and as the clarity is greater, we naturally have no need of hiding. It's an internal activity, not a group activity.

    The spiritual narcissist who learned some principles can manipulate prettily. The irony (?) is that because they have no real feeling for the truth they can be this distorted. The one in truth just could not be in need of manipulation.

    Finally how it suited me to be in love with my one who cannot demonstrate love? I believe I am learning how to be compassionate on my own to the difficulty of living. That is the way out of shame. Getting slapped around does teach us how to create healthy energetic sovereignty too.

    Only I am responsible for my own experience is my belief in the new age. Love just IS around and we allow ourselves to be in its embrace (or refuse). Open the floodgates not to any lofty ideal dimension but the space that carries love. It is not high falooten verbiage but the ability to clear the channels and stand in one's own light and shine that truth seems to evidence.

    Finally, how do I know Teal is not a good teacher? I saw her energy with her beloved. She was treating herself badly with him. It told the truth of "Those who can't teach."


  74. I am an indigo myself, my mum was one of the hardcore firstborn and boy it took a hard hit on her but man did she work it as one of the first. The beautiful baby boy of Teal for sure a crystal. Pretty amazing to "see" them beyond their bodies.

    I am with you on the Leija thing. Very annoying, very flat.
    Was wondering about the visa thing with Sarbdeep as well. Maybe the Arturian council manages this right now. And Teal is one feisty (+ & - ) wifey. Good luck Sarbdeep. May you stay rooted in the earth and light hearted.

    "I was attracted to the idea, too, that I could insulate myself from pain if I could just learn to think properly and magnetize my designer life."

    Well well said! Thank you.

    "Where is this darkness coming from if God is Light and Love…."
    I remember that Granny always said to me: you cannot fight darkness, try to lighten it up so that you can see what it is.
    In general I think we are one thought away of being dark and one thought away of being light. Both can switch in a split of a second. I always thought I am holy and a good girl ((( : REALLY! But now I know I can be everything - wherever I turn my attention to. Not so holy anymore. But maybe more humanish authentically.
    Granny always said that there is a big difference between Do Not Fear the Unknown and Know your Fears and then she said - now go figure - .Zigzagbuddha - I guess I am pretty spoiled.

    But at the same time - she sometimes says really strange stuff like:" I don't want to die." Then I ask her why and she says: "I don't want to see my husband ever again and I know this bastard will greet me. I stay here!" As funny and tragic as it sounds, even my wise Granny needs some shadow work.

  75. Coming back to that relentless humanity's pursuit of answers, happiness, some perfect structure out of chaos, maybe it's designed this way, to some universal benefit that some of us set out on journeys that can have no end (hitchhiking at times, wondering at others, flying or even crawling sometimes too). Consider for a moment, that the amount of energy spent by human beings in pursuit of something that doesn't exist might represent a sizable chunk of the energy Nature needs to make the world go 'round. Which might also explain why- even after a lifetime of struggle-most of us never find the rainbow we promised ourselves would lead us to our pot of gold. :-/
    Why do we spend most of our lives searching for balance between the bewildering variety of opposites arranged this way in Nature's nature? Why do we struggle so hard to find a comfort zone between up and down, in and out, here and there, this and that, him or her, us and them, high and low? This duality is ever present as well as our need to express ourselves between the poles.
    I do believe in the Oneness, but here, now, the Nature's intent seems clear: the idea of the Other. The definition of self by its opposite: "I'm not that". For our Unniverse's sense of itself, her continuance, such aspects are necessary it seems. It might represent a basic truth that collision is essential, that opposites create an energy, and that maybe this nature has no preference for either of the opposites. It appears that Nature doesn't give a damn about the whites and the blacks and the browns and the blues. That on the evidence, she looks to be operating in her own best interests, and we, as best as can be told, are a part of how she operates and not vice versa. And it seems the focus falls sharpest on the clashing of opposing forces, when the sparks fly resulting in mutual annihilation at times.
    LaVaughn, you mentioned the Gnostic teachings about this world being a kind of "error" made by a Demiurge. I've read on that, interesting and a bit frightening. There is also this ancient indian legend from Brahmanism tradition, about Brahma secretly creating a closed universe without the Supreme God's approval and corrupting somehow the pure creative processes, isolating the world from the greater reality. Now it's kind of a cosmic tumor and other forces are trying to interfere and break the cycle. Something like that.
    But you can't live focused on that. You can't hang on to that. Hopes and dreams are necessary tools to our survival...hence our beliefs. With the acceptance of new truths, our hopes and dreams become subject to rewriting according to the need of the new reality. On the other hand, hopelessness sneaks about waiting patiently on the periphery to close in on us behind certain truths. Hopelessness sucks. But as the old saying goes, "As long as there's life, there's hope". :-)

  76. Elena I need some time to digest your spiritual lovely rant there.

  77. Sorry lol, my head is spinning, wasn't able to keep it shorter and clearer. I've been digesting some ideas for weeks.
    So what do we do with our darker aspects, our shadows once we acknowledge them and shed some light...Do we just accept that that's the way we are and this is it? Can we transmute all that "nastiness", at least try and keep it at bay without constantly fighting or suppressing our true selves? Or is admitting things like hatred, jealousy, harsh judgement, selfishness, greediness, etc, is it enough? Or we can work on that, for our sakes and those around us? We can try to be our best selves, but also more gentle on ourselves and on others as well? Ideally of course, it would help if we are raised in such a society that supports the development of such qualities from the very beginning, that nourishes, encourages all the noble that is in people, cultivates the values that are beneficial for the whole and authentic ways.
    But it will also always remain our own internal work and the greatest achievement. It may sound simplistic, or even naive, but I think it's fair and useful to observe that there are wonderful things about our species as well.
    Freud once said that life is love and work. But if you do bad work, it can't provide the meaning in your life that you need from it. I feel most critical of myself when I notice any trace of slovenliness in my work, whatever it is I'm doing at the time. I try my damnest to take very good care of me, because I'm taking care of more than just me that one sees. I'm taking care of the me that represents a hell of a lot more than me. I'm taking care of my parents, of my grandparents, of everyone, those countless people who came here before me and lived and hoped about the brighter future, and perished in this strange evolutionary process of expansion. And of course, for the new generations to come.
    We are all imperfect. Human life at present is a highly imperfect system, filled with subordinate imperfection all the way down and maybe life is simply a perpetual, unending struggle against those imperfections.

  78. My husband and I are thinking of doing a video series wherein we brew a pot of coffee and discuss teal videos. We were going to call it "Coffee Talk" but that's taken. So I'm thinking something along the lines of "How to Drive Your Double PhD Husband Crazy by Making Him Watch TEAL Videos." This one, I had to stop every few minutes so he could go, "Source? Relevance? Where is her evidence?!" and heave an exasperated sigh. The fact that she makes one assertion of "universal" fact after another, as if she was stating first principals, without any reference point other than her eleventh dimensional awareness, drives him batshit. It drives me nuts, too, but he views these things as a scholar, especially as he's still very much in that groove, having just recently completed his second doctoral dissertation.

    He and I have different standards of evidence but we're both really offended that she offers none at all. That she uses this exclusive, occult knowledge -- I can see the energy of it and I'm in alignment with universal perspective -- to try to bully someone into changing his behavior is OUTRAGEOUS.

    We had a good time studying the body language and the video was playing properly this time so I was able to pick up more of the details. Right off the bat, her body language is defensive and his is open. She's facing out, towards the camera, and only turns her head to face him on occasion. She inched farther away as it went on. There was a lot of self-comforting and defensive hand gestures from her as well. Whereas, for the most part, Sarbdeep was leaning forward, open, and engaged. Even when he was obviously gobsmacked by what she was saying, he continued to face her directly and in a fully relational way.

    She just got angrier and more pinched as it went on. She kept trying to hit his psychic pressure points and getting frustrated because he didn't buckle. Nothing she did or said caused him to become submissive or supplicating. It seems like he's worked through a lot of his own stuff and doesn't get triggered too easily. The only leverage she seemed to have was dangling the relationship itself.

    It also seemed to frustrate her tremendously that she could lay down her "universal" knowledge and he would continue to disagree. It really ratcheted up her anger.

    And, as ever, her "Satanic abuse" story is her fallback -- her emotional blackmail chit. She's all about ending privacy because privacy was the tool of her abusers. But here's the thing. If that we're all just energy means that we're supposed to have no privacy, no separation, we would have no bodily autonomy either. Therefore, no abuse would be possible. It sounds very extreme, and it is, but it's the natural progression of her logic.

    Her argument remains absurd. Everyone should be willing to risk their jobs, or just quit them, because they're restricting parts of themselves, but she won't risk a lawsuit by revealing the name of her abuser or leaving that blog post about Fallon up.

    My husband and I agree that Sarbdeep comes across as very likable and mature. And neither of us get what he sees in her but, you know, love is one of those unquantifiable things. We both doubt their relationship has a future. He's too self possessed and unwilling to be bullied or controlled.

  79. "LaVaughn, you mentioned the Gnostic teachings about this world being a kind of 'error' made by a Demiurge. I've read on that, interesting and a bit frightening. There is also this ancient indian legend from Brahmanism tradition, about Brahma secretly creating a closed universe without the Supreme God's approval and corrupting somehow the pure creative processes, isolating the world from the greater reality. Now it's kind of a cosmic tumor and other forces are trying to interfere and break the cycle. Something like that.
    But you can't live focused on that. You can't hang on to that. Hopes and dreams are necessary tools to our survival...hence our beliefs. With the acceptance of new truths, our hopes and dreams become subject to rewriting according to the need of the new reality. On the other hand, hopelessness sneaks about waiting patiently on the periphery to close in on us behind certain truths. Hopelessness sucks. But as the old saying goes, 'As long as there's life, there's hope'. :-)"

    In as much as I understand that Gnostics, and I claim no extensive knowledge, the Demiurge is the result of, not the cause of, the error. It was Sophia's error. According to John Lamb Lash, for one, she created this world -- which I believe he says comprises our sector of the galaxy -- without partnering with another Aeon, and this resulted in an imbalanced creation. The result was the Demiurge (half turn) Yaldabaoth. My personal analysis of The Matrix is that the Oracle is Sophia -- as in that which is channeled by the Oracle of Delphi -- and Yaldabaoth is the Architect. I think it makes a handy thumbnail. The men in black are the Archons. Anyhoo, yes, it does seem to be analogous to the Hindu idea of Maya.

    Here's the thing, though. Every major religion seems to operate from the premise that this world, our present reality, is an error that hopes to be corrected by that religion. And therein lies the hope. We become participants in the correction.


    Oh, for added fun, this is from the The Matrix: Revolutions soundtrack:


    asato mā sad gamaya
    tamaso mā jyotir gamaya
    mṛtyor mā amṛtaṁ gamaya

    From ignorance lead me to truth
    From darkness lead me to light
    From death lead me to immortality
    --Brhadaranyaka Upanisad, I.iii.28

  80. "I do encounter some of these kids with their just mind-blowing gifts and insights. But maybe 150 years ago, or in the Renaissance Era, there were also plenty of advanced souls coming in, in fact we know some of them, but so many of those children back then remained unknown, or even never survived the early years..times were different, even worse for the most kids than now perhaps."

    Absolutely. I think the souls come in as needed, in harmony with shifts in global energy. DaVinci makes us all look like pikers. Indigos are advanced in some ways, but it's also a really difficult energy. Drunvalo calls them the lost generation. Many suffer abuse, many become addicts, many have a very hard time figuring out their role in this world because they're still not in harmony with the prevailing paradigm. He thinks they're here in many ways to transmute it by processing a lot of shadow stuff. I concur on a lot of that. Indigo is not an easy vibration.

    "Oh I was meaning to ask you, can you feel our energy or something else just from our comments here?:-)"

    I'm not reading anybody's energy in these comments for a couple of reasons:

    a) I don't read people who haven't asked me to, which generally means they're paying me for that service. It would be an invasive and uninvited experience for them and it would be exhausting and overwhelming for me.

    b) Internet communication for me is like being blindfolded in that regard. I get very little intuitively in this kind of communication so I couldn't pick up a lot even if I wanted to. For me, intuition about people seems to require either being able to hear their voice or see their eyes. I also seem to need to communicate in real time. I have picked up things about people in live chats but it's limited.

    Much like the way I set the rules of my day to day life in the "meat world," I only get that information if it's urgent for me or for them. Urgent for me would be along the lines of this person poses a threat to my and/or family's safety. Alternately, sometimes I'll get a thwack in the head from one of my guides because it's a reflection I may really need to learn something from. For them it would be something they urgently need to know. Like one time, I was visiting this new age chat room I used to use. And it had been a long time because I lost the ability to use the chat when it went to a format that wasn't mac compatible. But I was on a loaner windows laptop and I checked in and found it was mostly people I didn't know -- depressing -- but they were lovely and we were having a nice convo. Then all the lights in my room started blinking on and off and this spirit came into the room and demanded that I pass something on to this woman I did not know at all. I described the guide. She knew exactly who I meant. I passed on the messages, she thanked me, the spirit left, and my electricity went back to normal. So sometimes all my defense systems get overridden and I've agreed to that in cases of urgent need.

  81. "Finally, how do I know Teal is not a good teacher? I saw her energy with her beloved. She was treating herself badly with him. It told the truth of 'Those who can't teach.'"

    See, me2yesu, for me it has more to do with her treating him badly. This is always what it comes back for me where she's concerned. She abuses authority. She uses her "special" knowledge to bully and control people. She's never wrong but spends a lot time telling people how they're not in alignment with the "universal truth" which she, ironically, has an exclusive claim to.

  82. If I've failed to address someone's direct question to me, it's not that I mean to ignore it. It's that I'm a little overwhelmed by the volume of things I'd love to discuss in these comments. So much food for thought here. So, don't be afraid to ask me again if you feel I've missed something.

  83. ".... for me it has more to do with her treating him badly. This is always what it comes back for me where she's concerned. She abuses authority. She uses her "special" knowledge to bully and control people. She's never wrong but spends a lot time telling people how they're not in alignment with the "universal truth" which she, ironically, has an exclusive claim to."

    I was poetically saying "Do unto others what you would have them do unto you" means to treat others with a lack of respect and violation is treating ourselves badly and so "self love" is not displayed and not "taught".

    I agree with you that her bully control of others' is abusive to THEM but we are one after all (as the reason for no need of privacy etc.), so when she is acting out, she is acting on herself.

  84. So, I grabbed a cuppa and I'm just skimming some more of this... and cringing at my numerous typos.


    "We are not totally transparent in this reality, and who says we should be? Universal Truth ambassador? Huh! No kidding!
    Our bodies are not totally open, and they are not transparent yet. Nature has designed us this way- our insides are inside...and while you can find them beautiful from some artistic perspective (Jack the Ripper was fond of that)..."

    ROTFLMAO! Precisely.

    "But actually in one of her videos, Leija also mentioned she chose this particular 'meat suit' so more people would pay attention to what she says...She has never referred to what kind of projection she is though...Just for the record, she'd started making videos way before Teal."

    What. The. Fuck.

    What is this? Attack of the new age fembots?!

    Oh my gods and goddesses. I feel like we're going backwards. Let's all expand our consciousness so that we can just keep right on reducing women to their bodies. But what was I expecting? Yoga teachers and Buddhist priests are still sexually harassing, molesting, and raping their followers. And now we have TEAL and Leija and whatever other insipid, narcissistic peddler of watered down spiritual teaching...

    I feel a headache coming on.

  85. Oh wow, thank you for all these posts! What a nice read during my "coffee break".

  86. Mmmm, those Pi(es) look delish!

  87. YOU all are too hilarious sometimes!! LaVaughn, I for one would love to see people like you and your husband doing play by plays and debunking Teal's videos one by one using some common sense and logic. Then post them on youtube so they come up under the same keywords as Teal's videos. I think that would be a perfect compliment to offer a balanced perspective. I hope you, or at least other people start employing their critical thinking skills against this "Attack of the new age fem bots!" I for one would love to see you doing a play by play of Teal's material. HIGHLY ENTERTAINING and EDUCATIONAL!!! LOL

  88. Lol, Kevin, I really doubt LaVaughn's husband would be interested in doing this play by play, his brain cells might risk some irreversible damage this way, and I assume he values that a lot. What's his dissertation on (unless of course it's none of our business) ?
    LV, with regards to that podcast, why do you think SS brought up particularly her bank statement as an example? And not just once if I remember it right. Maybe she is refusing to open up to him about her financial situation and he naturally wants to know, now that he is legally bound. Btw, laws in UK when divorcing are somewhat pro wife, I know a couple, it took them years to settle that and she was left very happy indeed. Poor guy...(well, he's not that poor but anyway, he worked hard for what he has).

  89. This is just a test... I have been having a bit of trouble with my google account.

  90. Now Listen up Sarbdeep Swan, you closed, loveless being who excludes the world!

    "I have an extraordinary level of openness with the world, which is a profound gesture of love. It means I do not recognize the separation between myself and other people. It means I “include” them."

  91. Well there is a big, fat new birthday - xmas - and every day around wish list from Teal to all Tealers. I am sure somebody will organise the ice hotel in Sweden for her, will rent a horse near a beach on one of her upcoming workshops.

    Again...I am taking notes for my business plan analyses. Because you can't just scream out to your fans what you want of them and how you suggest them to be seen by them, you come up with a clever question answer game - you first invite THEM to answer it so that you can post your new marketing tools online without causing any suspicion.

    And again - on a side note: How to motivate worried employee even more - tell them that you loooove them so much and that your life depends on them. (thanks god her husband made it into the list as well on fifth or seventh position.


  92. hey Elena for some reason I can't grasp your long email. So I can't really say anything to it. Not ignoring it - just my brain doesn't understand. No need to break it down in baby language ( : I am sure it was really smart what you wrote - as usual.

    It could be possible that drinking too much Teal killed too many of my brain celles. : b

  93. I can see you zigzagbuddha. Let's all clap and say, "I do believe in zigzagbuddha. I do believe in zigzagbuddha," and see if we can't build up her google powers.

  94. Wow! So many wonderful wisdom-filled comments and advice since I last checked. Learning a lot here that really speaks to me. You mentioned LaVaughn that there's a lot of narcissism in reality shows. Makes sense. Lindsey Lohan is trying to start her own reality show, which has a trailer, with funding from Oprah, but she went off the wagon and Oprah got in her face and threatened to pull the plug if she didn't cut the bullshit. Lohan seems to have some of Teal's scary disposition--scare the hide off a cow! Teal has to realize how disturbing she is to the many who start to see her red flags. All this energy spent on maintaining this story and elaborate drama seems like a big crutch, like smoking or alcohol. I think I'm an indigo too, but will have to check up on the criteria--I was born in 75 and identify a lot with what you mentioned about it here. Lately I've been feeling really good. I wake up feeling basked in love, and meditate for about an hour. I need no external source or person or pet or metaphysics for this. It occurred to me that I'm awakening to a greater state of being. And an awareness of many ways I still need to grow and evolve. Its seems for most of us, its easy to switch between love and hate, and its like a little defect in our hearts. The heart should be steady and strong. I haven't watched the video with Sarbdeep yet, but I might watch it. It sounds like maybe what people are describing here is that his heart is more steady. And Teal needs to heal that heart in her. Maybe no one can do that but her. Something's gotta give. About a week ago, something spontaneous happened in me. I just woke up and felt ensconced in love followed by a meditation which felt guided by a higher power, in which I was psychoanalyzing my self and felt like I was doing surgery on my own brain, and healing myself, and followed by a feeling of extreme clarity and peace. that feeling hasn't left since. Imagine...if the whole internet was suddenly reprogrammed so that every sentence ended with the word LOVE. Just for a day. That would be cool.

  95. Also, I remember in some of the dozen or so schools I attended---I moved around a lot, there were always some super freaks. the ones with perhaps severe emotional disorders who would freak out in class and have to be escorted out, or were obviously abused and mute and peed or something, whose parents hung their pee-stained sheets outside to try to train them. I wonder if Teal was like that as a kid. Maybe not. I wonder where are the people from her childhood? What might they say about her?

  96. The whole world argues incessantly about the nature of the cosmos, and the media and news is really like the matrix--I had an epiphany about that, and I was reminded of David Icke. I had considered the Matrix movie more of just fantasy with just parallels to reality, but I think he really must have freaked out around all those reporters back in the day, like he said, seeing them as reptilian...lol!

  97. She loves Blake Dyer... but not her husband. She is grateful to him first before her son, Winter.
    Hmm.. I wonder why they did not marry. I predict that when she divorces Sarbs, Blake will be her next (and final) husband. They seem to be a vibrational match for each other.

  98. Who is "Lauren Stokes"? Is that her therapist?

  99. Chsdolls
    "They seem to be a vibrational match for each other."

    As she stated herself, she feels "like a bitch when they are together" and "Blake feels like a looser". Something tells me that she already knows that this marriage will not last long because Sarbdeep is not easily be bended to the left and right. As Blake lately worries a lot, she's afraid of "loosing" him along the road. This statement will give him great courage and selfconfidence to stick around. Whenever Teal does a public love confirmation, it is always to limit damage, prevent damage or to pull somebody who is on the jump back to her.

    But in all fairness - she maybe truly realized that Blake took a lot of shit from her and is truly grateful to him. We never will know. This relationship between both of them is beautiful and sick at the same time in my eyes.

  100. and...they will never marry. No way. Heavily shaking the head.
    But then...you never know with miss Teal.

  101. "Blake finally admitted to himself today, after ten years of hoping, that we would never be in a romantic relationship together again. We have followed a pattern for the last ten years, where we are like brother and sister (who are also best friends) when I am in a relationship with another man. But when I am “available” again, he tries to close the gap between us and become lovers again. We had a community meeting today to discuss his feelings and he admitted that he has always harbored the hope. But it is not to be born, for the same reasons that our romantic relationship ended in the first place. Blake is not inherently the person I have always wanted to be with. He has to become someone else to be that man. And he fails at it, which is good because a relationship where you can never really be yourself is inevitable torture. For me to be with Blake, I would have to deny my truest desires in order to be lovingly committed to him for who he really is. And I fail at it, which is good because a relationship where I can never really let myself have what I want and need, is inevitable torture. When we are romantically together, he always feels like a failure and I always feel like a bitch. There is nothing worse than a relationship that chronically feeds a poor self-concept.

    Blake has gone off into town to journal at a coffee shop after his realization. Inside I know that our bond is deeper than anyone understands. We became each other’s family when both of us felt like we had none. No romantic bond or lack there of, could ever strip us from each other’s hearts and lives. We are like reunited litter-mates. But it doesn’t stop me from being nervous of how this realization will affect the relationship between us. Deep down, I know that this will enable him to release the clasp he has on me, which is currently disallowing the love he wants so badly to find. He will find a woman who is capable of loving him for exactly who he is right here and now, instead of for the potential of who he could be. I can only hope that she will have a place in her heart for me."


    Sucks to be Blake. Oh, and I repeat: If you're in teal's orbit, you're not entitled to a private life, so don't expect one.

  102. zigzagbuddha I can see a fat pink star - no trouble at all.

  103. yes LaVaughn - it seems like the we are the walking libraries of Teal.

  104. Nah. I'm just handy with the google.

  105. oh you SURE know how to handle google. Whenever you search for Teal Swan or Scott, LaVaughn turns up on top positions. I guess that means that you are a highvibe being or so.

  106. LOL! I'm afraid I don't handle Facebook as well, where, once again, links to my blog are being throttled as if they're spam or something. Happens every time I post a blog about teal and it starts getting mentioned on Facebook. Predictable as the friggin' weather.

  107. LaVaughn, that blog post you referenced at (http://blog.thespiritualcatalyst.com/dating-the-grand-decision/) is so disturbing. I don't even know what to say. It's even worse that this is all being made public.
    She is doing it for fame. That has to be the reason.
    I wonder what her family thinks? I know she dragged them through the mud with her allegations of her father being sexually attracted to her. If I were her parents, I'd disown her. His reputation and existence in society could be severely damaged with such accusations.

  108. Mark, Lindsey Lohan makes me sad. She's a train wreck.

    When I read that about reality shows and narcissism what actually popped into my mind was Elizabeth Hasselbeck who survived Survivor and wound up on The View and now, of course, that hotbed of personality disorders Fox News. I remember hearing her once tell this story about how she was at the White House and meeting Obama, and had a diaper disaster. Her baby crapped his pants and she discovered that she had no diapers in her diaper bag. So she scraped the shit off his diaper and put it back on her son and went the meet the President of the United States. Only a narcissist would tell a DISGUSTING and humiliating story like that publicly, because attention is attention. For a lot of narcissists, good, bad, doesn't matter. Are they the center of attention? Score!

    Sounds like you are having some beautiful states of awareness. Just lovely.


  109. chsdolls, I was horrified when I read that. It was way back before I even quite understood who Blake was and how he fit into this mix exactly, and I just thought, wow, what an invasion of that guy's privacy. We all need to know that he's "processing" his heartbreak in a coffee shop? Really? Why is this ANY of my business? No more than the ins and outs of her relationship with Fallon or his tealvented diagnosis of psychopathy. She wants to talk about her inner life? Fine. Great. But these people have rights. I was so creeped out. And this is what she wants from Sarbdeep -- that all the intimate details of his life and their lives together should be fair game for her to write about -- just grist for the mill of her "business."

    That was another thing my husband said about that surreal Tea Time thing. She's pissed because he won't let himself be used to further her goals in whatever she pleases. And she's clearly not real used to hearing the word no. And if she can't persuade alone, she brings in her "intentional family" and then her fans to break these folks down the minute they get so uppity as to say no to her.

  110. Years ago I was experimenting with windows paint... that 'fat pink star' was my first and only 'creation'. I would create something else that was maybe a little more sophisticated artistry but even if I was able to pull that off I don't have a fucking clue how I ever got it to be my google account avatar, let alone change it... this blog is the first time I have ever used that account. I didn't mean for anyone to respond to my 'test' comment, I just wanted to see if it was my star showing up or the stupid yellow car that Elena said she was getting.

    As to teal and her tea ceremonies... why is it 'tea time with teal' - or as the typo (Freudian slip?) says 'teal time with teal' rather than 'Tea Time with the Swans'?

    The way she tried to manipulate Sarbdeep with the threat of removing her illustrious presence from his life (and bed) was truly disgusting. Will he be able to stand his ground under the onslaught of her 'I Am The Greatest Lay You Will Ever Have And The One And Only Voice Of God Besides' arrows?

    And her voice is not "lovely and sweet", although that is obviously what she was trying to convey to her audience. To my ears it is contrived and condescending and saccharine... and sickening.

    Funny how teal claims that people who are attracted to her are so 'high vibration' but it is my low vibration that brought her onto my radar.

  111. PS: I don't mean to suggest that anybody else who was attracted to Teal is 'low vibration' I'm just saying that when I was flying high and feeling good I never came across her, it wasn't until I crashed and burned and was trying to rise up out of my ashes that she came into my awareness.

  112. I agree with you zigzagbuddha. When I stumbled on to Teal's videos I was at one of the lowest vibrational points in my life. I've found out it was what those in the spiritual community call the dark night of the soul. It was right after I lost my corporate job of five years about a year and a half ago, and was basically having an existential crisis. Up until that point, I was completely plugged into the Matrix. I was "asleep," numb, and miserable and going through the motions of what I thought I was supposed to be doing according to society. I had followed the "rules" of doing well in school, going to college get a "safe" corporate job with benefits. I had spent five years being a cog in the cut throat corporate machine as a manager working sometimes 60 hours a week. I had no time to think about anything besides work. The only people I had time to associate with were the people I worked with. When I lost my job, it felt like I lost my identity. Nothing felt right. I felt like I had been a slave my whole life. While job hunting those first few months, I realized what a joke and a lie specialized higher education can be in the "real world." I realized how destructive and exploitative corporations really are. This led me to the discovery of the illuminati which led me to David Icke and the Reptilians then Alex Jones' "Info Wars." I spent several unemployed months freaked out, paranoid, and doing internet research... Eventually, I was tired of being scared, and admittedly was looking for spiritual answers online that made me "feel better".... I had even called and talked to several psychics(which previously I had never done), hoping that they could give me the answers that I didn't seem to be having any luck finding myself. One psychic read my Akashic records, and she informed me that my guides were helping me to go through " a spiritual awakening" which isn't always pleasant. That was frustrating at the time, as I had never heard that term before. Those words are what started my online spiritual journey for answers when I googled "spiritual awakening." That's when I eventually stumbled onto a Teal video of the Akashic records... So, I only mention this, because it seems that Teal's is not a match to her fans and followers because they are so "high vibrational". I would tend to believe that the reason these people latch onto her so fervently is actually because they are probably some of the lowest vibrational people on the planet and she probably makes them feel better about their lives with her cleverly contrived lies than they ever have before.... This good feeling is impermanent though, and it only takes then so far. I feel as though Teal could be a stepping stone for those who are willing to go through the painful disillusionment process of discovering her as a fraud and then continue on their spiritual journey, or a crutch and a hinderance for those who are unwilling to look beyond their own denial to see her lies. They will remain trapped in the lower vibrational reality of the ego mind construct until they choose to do so. Personally, I am choosing to continue my spiritual journey a little wiser and little less gullible. For some still living in the pursuit of happiness through willful denial, I see where Teal can be posing a very real danger.

  113. Kevin and Zigzagbudda, I agree with you both. I was also going through a very low point in my life when I found her videos. She was a vibrational match to how I was feeling at that time. I haven't watched any of her videos in over 6 months.
    Sorry to sound judgmental but I am sometimes a lurker on tealtribe and I must say that some people there are really, really hurting to the point where they need psychiatric help yet they "worship" teal. She can do no wrong and they say things like "So what if she's making her story up?" Well, mormons say the same about the book o fmormon. "So what if it's made up?" My answer is that her teachings are based on lies much like the mormon faith being based on lies... why would I want to follow something made up from lies?
    I am trying to work on myself and move on. Someone else on here said they want to see her "fail" not for being mean but so that she may learn some important lessons. I must say that I completely agree with this statement and many other statements made on this thread.
    Btw, Teal, you're not as famous as you think. You are suffering from delusions of grandeur.


  114. Kevin: "That's when I eventually stumbled onto a Teal video of the Akashic records"
    That was my first hit as well - Akashic records. Mhhh interesting

    Kevin: "I feel as though Teal could be a stepping stone for those who are willing to go through the painful disillusionment process of discovering her as a fraud and then continue on their spiritual journey, or a crutch and a hinderance for those who are unwilling to look beyond their own denial to see her lies. "
    It was truly painful for a while for me as well.

    Chsdolls: "Kevin and Zigzagbudda, I agree with you both. I was also going through a very low point in my life when I found her videos"

    Me too. I had a very painful phase with first time panic attacks ever. Usually I am a very happy and chilled person but this half year was something else. That was when i found Teal because I was looking for some guidance. I was on the trail of Byron Katie and Rupert Spira at this time and it helped me a lot. However, her akashic record thumbnail turned up on the right bar in youtube and I found her face interesting and got curious. That was my first connection. Then, - like Sarbdeep - I watched all her videos (amateurish looking, still no word of fame and money and the word "dealer" didn't exist at this time) in one go and was pretty stunned. She was so sure about everything and I was so unsure because my whole world just collapsed in strange and wired panic attacks.

    Well I am pretty amazed how similar all the stories are. Scratching my head. Strange.

  115. I meant TEALER not dealer....oppps

  116. She is preying on vulnerable...just like them dealers

  117. and at this time I was studying UG Krishnamurti and was deeple depressed because of it. So the "hope" thing with all new age and Teal just took me and threw me up into the air.

  118. Wow, I was at a low point too when I first came across Teal. I was having first time panic attacks. Just horrible. And relatively depressed and freaking out. Drinking too much, and a friend of mine died. jheesh.

  119. mmmhh interesting Mark! So first time panic attacks we seem to have in common. Now the question is: is this the result of planet frequency rise and freakin-out-egos or did this enable us to lign up with similar vibe Teal at this time. As far as I know she is still pretty often in panic and in a dark place. So her own focus for lightness and happiness and release would have been similar to us.

    Anyhow Mark - thanks for the puzzle piece. I find it VERY interesting.

  120. Well, just so's ya know it's folks like YOU that make teal need all that security. See, she has chosen to embody the lower vibrational states just so she can lead you low vibrational types back to the higher vibrational state. It's very magnanimous of her really. She could have come in as "perfect" but that wouldn't have helped all you low vibe people. Unfortunately, it also means she needs LOTS of security. http://blog.thespiritualcatalyst.com/ukulele/

    Personally, I don't get with all the high vibration, low vibration framing. And a lot of what LOA people call high vibration just looks like a lot egomania to me. For one thing, it sounds awfully judgy.

    The Dark Night of the Soul, fwiw, is a blessed state of ego obliteration.



  121. Cameron Russell on the power of image


  122. "Personally, I don't get with all the high vibration, low vibration framing. And a lot of what LOA people call high vibration just looks like a lot egomania to me. For one thing, it sounds awfully judgy."

    So how do YOU differenciate between different states of minds, considering that there must be a difference in *Something* by standing in front of a smiling person or a deeply depressed one?
    In my language I use high or low vibe to describe an individual state of being or my personal perception of myself or another body.

  123. Hi Elena, I just watched Cameron Russell who is very pretty but found her speech a bit empty. Maybe because I know this industry and I am aware that all modell & fashion photography is a result of minimum 5 people who know how to trick the light into a specific visual. She didn't really say much - I was wondering, why did you post it?

  124. when she says "I'm on the stage because I'm a pretty white woman" I was reminded of smth or somebody

  125. For me the difference would be that one is smiling and one is depressed. Neither is wrong. Both may be very uncomfortable, though. Sometimes a smile is a facade, one The Secret tells you affect so that you'll magically stop magnetizing crap. It doesn't work. I think if depressed is what's authentic for a person at the moment then, good, let's start there.

    I used to talk about this in terms of the difference between "happiness" and "fundamental joy." Happiness is ephemeral. Joy comes from connection to spirit and can express itself through a range of emotional states from happy to sad. I used to but I found that it was a semantic distinction that made sense in my immediate social circle, but not so much beyond it. The concept, though, remains the same. We can experience deep connection to God as we define God, through a full range of emotions because God contains all things, including our depression. If you've ever sat in Twelve Step meeting, you know what I mean.

    My problem with the high/low terminology is that it implies hierarchy and applies values and judgments. I see things in a more circular fashion. I'm more of a round table of emotions kind of person. And I've also found that none of these uncomfortable emotional states are ever really gone until we accept them and love them for what they are -- parts of ourselves.

    None of which is to say you should stop using whatever paradigm makes sense for you. Only that it doesn't resonate for me. And I do think, unfortunately, that in the hands of people with agendas it can become do divisive as to be dangerous.

  126. Very interesting developments happening here, if you ask me. It seems teal is targeting people in emotional pain, which would not be a bad thing at all, if her intentions were as altruistic as she would seem to have everyone believe. But alas, it seems that is not truly the case, and that it is an army of addicted, sycophantic slaves who will raise her to pharaoh status that is her real objective. Oh well. I'm pretty sure everyone concerned will get exactly what they needed out of the experience.

    And it looks like you are getting a ride on teal's very famous coattails whether you wanted that ride or not LaVaughn. Hahaha!

    And THANKS A ZILLION for that dark night of the soul link!!!! It is sooooo exactly what I needed to read right now!! I will respond to it over there.

  127. Elena: Indeed and isn't she working it hahahaha

    LV: "My problem with the high/low terminology is that it implies hierarchy and applies values and judgments."

    I think the whole new age/secret/attraction concept is purely based on desire and cuts the bits into wanted and unwanted. Yes this implies indeed a hierarchy and values or devalues perception. It is a judgement and very opposite to all the other teachings who focus on compassion towards any temporary state of mind (tried this one during my buddhist years).
    Abraham Hicks sounded very promising to me -ego, loved it a lot. Still do. But you are right. There is always this sense of doing something wrong when thoughts and emotions throw dark stuff over the perception and its digestion process. I remember my good friend. He was always saying to me: "When I am happy I am really happy and totally ok with it. And when i am depressed I am really depressed and go fully into it until something else pops up." I never liked the idea to give my all to the arising depression or sadness. I always tried and try to work my way out of it into something I declared as more precious to me. And to be honest: I don't want to be sad, I don't want to be bored, I don't want to be depressed and generally I am always on the inspired, happy side anyway. WHY ON EARTH SHOULD I ALLOW DEPRESSED STATES To TAKE OVER MY WHOLE BEING? Is this my ego or a healthy desire of a living human? oh It is all so complicated. There are too many perspectives. I am getting really confused.

    LV: "I've also found that none of these uncomfortable emotional states are ever really gone until we accept them and love them for what they are -- parts of ourselves."

    My personal raw experience is that I change any kind of emotional state by a) diving fully into it by KNOWING that it will not be forever b) tapping myself (like awesome!!!) c) finding the awesome sides of it. So it is a wild bunch of different ways which I choose accordingly to the actual situation. I do not think that it is right to dive into each dark shit and I don't believe that it is smart not to cry when your dog just died and making focus wheels why it is a good thing that the dog died. I think different mechanism need different individual respond experiences.
    You know LaVaughn - since you wrote this about the value & judgment stuff of high and low vibe I am just coming to terms with me HOW MUCH CONFUSED I am. that is funny and upsetting at the same time. I really want to throw my bowl and not "figuring it out" anymore. It is an annoying game to have that "grasp" -feeling to then being groundless in the next second. It is annoying to see how Teal uses all these concepts to make EVERY of her steps look perfect and "according to truth".

    Btw: awesome acticle about the dark night of the soul And butterflies: I was always fascinated with this sentence:
    A flower returns to its branch - a butterfly.
    I had at least 100 times the feelings that I finally understood it until I notice that I wasn't even close.

    You know, fuck Teal. I want Black and White like NOW

  128. Btw... the way I see it, there are really only 2 emotions... love or fear. Apathy, despair, grief, depression, hatred, rage... all those are just gradations of the fear band. Frustration, irritation, and boredom are about in the middle, and then you start moving into the love band with contentment and hope, appreciation and on up into joy, passion and love.

    The best use of a familiarity with the emotional tone scale is not as a judgmental labeling device but as a tool for deliberately raising oneself into the better feeling emotions. And yeah, you have to start wherever you are.

    If someone is in despair it does them no good to paste a fake smile on their face and chant a bunch of 'positive affirmations' that are so far from where they actually are that it would be like trying to leap across the grand canyon... with big, clunky cement shoes on.

    But if someone is in despair and they are wise enough to allow themselves to experience it, even if they need to wallow in it for awhile, and they are acquainted with the emotional tone scale, then when they are ready to move on they can deliberately reach for one of the emotions that are a step or two higher than despair, like anger. Anger is a 'higher vibration' than despair and is an easier jump to make, even in cement shoes, hahaha.

    They have a very colorful version of the tone scale here (and the site is chock full of other valuable information too!):


  129. ...and what a coincidence: I am working on a huge movie project right now and my harddrives are so full that my mac has not enough memory to process the movie in the software program.
    Well my thoughtdrive is really overloaded.

    The buddhist would say:
    It is just an overloaded hard drive.
    This will change as well.
    Keep breathing.

    Byron Katie would ask:
    Is it true? (Yes or no. If no, move to 3.)
    Can you absolutely know that it's true? (Yes or no.)
    How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought?
    Who would you be without the thought?

    Abraham Hicks would say:
    Make a focus wheel.
    How does it feel to get a brand new super fast fat hard drive?
    Can you feel it?
    Now forget about it because it is already in your vortex- ohhh I can see that beauty which is ligned up for you in your vortex.

    Teal would say:
    Ask Teal.

    And I would say:
    I need a breeeaaaaak.

  130. Golden Andara said...

    " ...and what a coincidence: I am working on a huge movie project right now and my harddrives are so full that my mac has not enough memory to process the movie in the software program.
    Well my thoughtdrive is really overloaded.

    The buddhist would say:
    It is just an overloaded hard drive.
    This will change as well.
    Keep breathing.

    Byron Katie would ask:
    Is it true? (Yes or no. If no, move to 3.)
    Can you absolutely know that it's true? (Yes or no.)
    How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought?
    Who would you be without the thought?

    Abraham Hicks would say:
    Make a focus wheel.
    How does it feel to get a brand new super fast fat hard drive?
    Can you feel it?
    Now forget about it because it is already in your vortex- ohhh I can see that beauty which is ligned up for you in your vortex.

    Teal would say:
    Ask Teal.

    And I would say:
    I need a breeeaaaaak."


  131. "I used to talk about this in terms of the difference between "happiness" and "fundamental joy." Happiness is ephemeral. Joy comes from connection to spirit and can express itself through a range of emotional states from happy to sad. I used to but I found that it was a semantic distinction that made sense in my immediate social circle, but not so much beyond it. The concept, though, remains the same. We can experience deep connection to God as we define God, through a full range of emotions because God contains all things, including our depression."

    YES!! The connection to spirit has a frequency that is NOt emotional and can hold any emotion. I know what you mean there.
    I read a book by Elisabeth Haich (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elisabeth_Haich).

    The book "Initiation" was based on her memory of her incarnations. It is a riveting read and addresses what seem to be REAL concepts. She became hung up with karma because she insisted on power that she misused. You can't skip the desires stages without blowback. The ramifications of desire uncleared are perilous when seeking power.

    The emotions an be felt apart from story as energy to change at will. So I do believe that a "higher frequency" is just being more inclusive. So i call it a broader frequency. It is more peaceful so feels lighter fluffier...so maybe seems "high"?

    If anyone wants to read it, I found the pdf here

    This is from page 152
    "We have to experience different emotional states on command,
    without dream pictures,but with the same intensity as if we really had a reason.
    We begin these exercises at the lowest negative condition, moving up step by step until we reach the highest positive condition. To take an example, we begin by experiencing the deepest state of dejection, moving up gradually through indifference, then on higher and higher, through joy and on up to the highest state of happiness.

  132. zigzagbuddha ( ; & me2yesu:

    This reminds me of the map of consciousness by Dr. David Hawkins who used the touch reflexes and muscle testing to calculate the Log. Briefly, each level of consciousness (LOC) coincides with determinable human behaviors and perceptions about life. Each level represents a corresponding attractor field of varying strength that exists beyond our three-dimensional reality. There’s a critical point within each LOC from which its field gravitates (or entrains). The numbers on the scale represent logarithmic calibrations (measurable vibratory frequencies on a scale which increases to the tenth power) of the levels of human consciousness and its corresponding level of reality. The numbers themselves are arbitrary; the significance lies in the relationship of one number (or level) to another.

    Just another valuation system?

  133. I am one with the sound of
    the wind through homes,
    trees and city blocks,
    the sound of passing cars,
    of birds chirping, my heart beating.
    I am one with thoughts that arise
    and leave, with emotions that arise
    and leave, with resistance to emotions,
    with allowing emotions.
    I am one with speed and slowness,
    with past and future,
    with solitude and company,
    with nature and technology.
    I am one with spirit and science,
    with all theories of the cosmos,
    with all seven plus billion humans,
    with all plants and animals.
    I am one with the hubbub of the news,
    with work and play and love,
    with death and rebirth,
    with the destruction of the ecosystem.
    I am one with the coming devastation
    of the planet, with its prevention.
    I am one with the eventual annihilation
    of all life on earth, the end of the sun,
    with immortality,
    with fantasy, with thoughtlessness
    and refined thoughts.
    But most of all I am one with love.
    I am one.

  134. Golden Andara,

    Let me start by saying, I make no claim to expertise in shadow work. I only know that I work through the process myself and have found it to be a far sight better than the alternative. What makes those shadow aspects so difficult isn't that they're inherently horrible. It's that when these pieces of self become separated from the whole they're extremely jagged. But a lot of our personal power can be found there.

    One of my favorite examples of shadow work is a Star Trek episode called "The Enemy Within." Bear with me. If you've seen it you'll know exactly what I mean. In it, a transporter accident splits Kirk into two people. Both look like Kirk but one is a violent, frothing maniac. The good Kirk seems to be the Kirk they all know and love. His personality seems relatively unaffected. It's almost like, hey, who needs that other Kirk. He's horrible! But the good Kirk, as he goes along, is finding he can't function normally. He can't make decisions which means he can't lead. His instincts, everything that makes him a great captain is really lacking. He's a nice guy but he's kind of ineffectual. Ultimately, they fix the problem and reintegrate him.

    I've long thought it was one of the better illustrations of shadow work. We can pass through life having disowned our shadows. In fact, it makes us very good at being cogs in the machine. But it means we're never in our full power. There are many paths to reintegration of the shadow and different tools work for different people. I think Debbie Ford is one of the better and more accessible sources. I think she was a fairly amazing woman.

    Here's another way to look at the whole thing, literally. It's a way to look at wholeness. One of the things I noticed when I was first getting really involved in the new age thing was how much shaming there was about the "lower" chakras. Now, certainly, if we're being run by lower chakras -- our lust, our appetites, our fight/flight mechanisms, that's a hard way to live. But we still need all of it. It's crucial. And what I found astonishing was that so many people didn't seem to realize this one, fundamental fact. That if you suppress or eliminate red and orange, you know what you absolutely do not have? White light. You can't just pull colors out of the spectrum and have white light when you're done. But what amazed me was how many people seemed to think that if they just focused on "the light" they'd embody it. But we embody it now. The biggest problem we have in that awareness is that we keep suppressing key elements of ourselves because they're naughty, they're angry, they're uncomfortable. They may be, but they're very necessary components of that white light singularity we all come from.

  135. Beautiful LV! Thanks for that. Some good thought food to reflect on.

  136. Now, certainly, if we're being run by lower chakras -- our lust, our appetites, our fight/flight mechanisms, that's a hard way to live. But we still need all of it. It's crucial. And what I found astonishing was that so many people didn't seem to realize this one, fundamental fact. That if you suppress or eliminate red and orange, you know what you absolutely do not have? White light. You can't just pull colors out of the spectrum and have white light when you're done. But what amazed me was how many people seemed to think that if they just focused on "the light" they'd embody it. But we embody it now. The biggest problem we have in that awareness is that we keep suppressing key elements of ourselves because they're naughty, they're angry, they're uncomfortable. They may be, but they're very necessary components of that white light singularity we all come from. "

    This is awesome LV!!
    I just absolutely love that approach to shadow. One just cannot expect that any embodied person is not dealing with the same pursuit!

    "ONE WOULD LIKE TO BELIEVE that our world’s recognized saints and sages have the best interests of everyone at heart in their thoughts and actions.

    One would also like to believe that the same “divinely loving” and enlightened figures would never distort truth to suit their own purposes, and would never use their power to take advantage (sexually or otherwise) of their followers. They would, that is, be free of the deep psychological quirks, prejudices, hypocrisy and violence which affect mere mortals.

    One would further hope that the best of our world’s sages would be able to distinguish between valid mystical perceptions and mere hallucinations, and that the miracles and healings which they have claimed to have effected have all actually occurred.

    Sadly, none of those hopes stand up to even the most basic rational scrutiny." -Geoffery Falk, Stripping the Gurus

  137. The pain of not knowing is very well known by me.

  138. Not knowing how life works, what it is, how I can guide or not guide it. There is just no ground to it. With each religion or philosophy, you enter a new thought construct, in itself pretty logical.
    But the more I hitchhike, the more I realize that any concept is exchangeable and fullfilling until you stop believing it. And then there is the next. I've been around the block. The more I studied, the more I realized that I just take on thoughts of "very sure or very convincing" speakers or generation-to-generation beliefs.

    Chakras: I never saw one, I "KNOW" that they are there, can feel/experience them, "learnt" the colours for each, can't see them. The people who are SURE are people who usually experienced "it or that". This makes it "real" to them and they "approve" of it. Just as Teal does.

    The pain of not knowing or not experiencing it as proof is pretty exhausting for a being that is curious and wants to figure out stuff and life for its well being and self drive.

    Tomorrow maybe a guy pops up on youtube, called "the physical inhibitor", he is very sure in what he is talking about. At the end of the day it would be just another concept which may works well for sb and not for others.

    Sarbdeep was talking about being impressed about how "sure" Teal was - it was certainly one point of attraction to him AND me.
    What's the matter with convinced, sure people who throw out life guidance thoughts? Do they only pick up the people who don't know or are doubtful or is there EVER a universal truth at all?

    Today I got hit by a thought which said:

    This is my world. Whatever I believe, is my true reality. That might change tomorrow and will not be in conflict to yesterday. Truth only exist in the present moment and will change like all around you.

    I remember Teal being curious about why humans are so obsessed with truth? I want to know too?
    What do we get from it?
    How do we distinguish truth?
    Why do we exspect that there is one single truth out/in there?

    The pain of not knowing.

  139. There seems to be a "sweet peace" in being SURE.
    My whole "spiritual journey is driven by my longing for this state of mind

for a fact
free from doubt

    Maybe that's the problem :D
    For fuck sake - that's why I choose to be a photographer. I collect and freeze the -ever changing-. What a deep desire and what a twisted mission.

  140. I remember Teal calling it: "The sweet torture of a doubtful mind."
    That sounds "true".
    Now - why did I use the word "true"? Because I EXPERIENCE it and my experience is the measurment device of true & false?

    Tricky! If sb has figured this out and is really sure, please let me know ;D

  141. There is no one who knows it ALL. Even the Source doesn't know itself apparently and needs our individual perspectives to learn things.

    It's like you can only discover The Truth petal by petal, and one day they might add up harmoniously and form a rose.
    Curiosity is what makes us human. Asking those kind of questions, searching...it is not a weakness, or some sort of madness, it is our birthright.

    And there are plenty of things you do know already about life and how it works. Maybe it's the pain of knowing as well?

    And, finally, imagine if you know it all already. Everything. No mystery left. How would you feel then? That is what makes life interesting also, searching for answers, after all...

    But attaining wisdom does not make everyone happy or free from pain I believe. At least, it's not a conventional happiness the wise one achieves.

    Curiosity is one thing, wisdom is another. Maybe neither can fully cover the territory. Maybe one is meant to drive us, the other to beckon us. It's a question or an answer, boldly stated or subtly implied, that gets me out of bed every morning. Curiosity and thirst for knowledge is definitely a part of whatever energy brought me to where I am, good or bad. And as of now, I find myself, just like you, no less challenged, no less plagued, no less intrigued, by what I still don't know.

    The thought you've experienced today is pretty profound.

  142. There are so many opposite teaching who try to put a light on shadow/light experiences. Should I run away of the shadows or dive deep into them or just let them be. For each version you can find a little universe inside a differently named teaching with different origins.

    Going back to my buddhist examples - they would say: light work or shadow work is all the same, just different states. Non of them is more precious or unsettling than the other. Keep Observing.

    Then Hicks would say: All your desires will be fulfilled in your life but you need to do your homework. Stop focusing on what you don't have, stop focusing on negative stuff or problems. Feel yourself into a good state…..(they don't have you spend an awful lot of time with the shadows isn't it)

    Tealismus would say: follow the relief. Hit a pillow, kill a man or scream at somebody. Or try to find the fearful core belief and look the devil directly into his eyes.

    The christian priest would say: you are guilty. surrender to god and hope that he will forgive you. (ok never studied the christians)

    I am just studying celtic shamanism -so I don't really know right now what a celtic shaman would say. But found this piece of text very "truth promising" for NOW

    The word "shaman" in Celtic is "geilt" or "gwelt." Guilt. I am guilty. I chose to breach the self-imposed and society imposed glass ceiling to learn to see without seeing, hear without hearing, touch without feeling yet knowing I have indeed touched. I can breathe the air and hear from my breath what the wind has to say about where it has been. Every action is sacred, meaningful and filled with life that I didn't - wasn't able to - notice before. I was limited in vision. There is no separation between body and spirit. There is no superiority in the sexes, we are all equal. Creation is a totality of several parts, not divided into trinities - body, mind and spirit - and definately not divided into "inner" and "outer." And this leads to the deepest understanding of Oneness. It is all One. We are all related!

    John Mathews (The Celtic Shaman) states: "The shaman is the servant of the sacred, rather than its priest."

  143. Elena, do you ever feel the desire to arrive? Arrive somewhere in your thoughts so that nothing moves anymore, no question is born anymore? Arriving at the harbour of the final answer = the rose? Is that the cause of thirst for "truth"?

    As always - I love every comment of yours. " And as of now, I find myself, just like you, no less challenged, no less plagued, no less intrigued, by what I still don't know. " Thank you. - what a beautiful description.

  144. Elena: "The thought you've experienced today is pretty profound."

    I was standing at the window, looking outside and figured that this is literally MY world - made by me. Everything happens around me in relation to me. I am literally the centre of the univers. Teal is created according to me. By naming and labeling and reacting...she is created. One twist of a thought and a new label is born. Today she is teal, tomorrow she might be perceived as Orange by me, according to my most dominant thought bridges at this moment. If I would throw Teal in one of the Byron Katie mind work outs, she will come out as a holy and innocent and all bad things I perceived where based on my resting/ not moving knowledge at this very moment.

    There is no ground in perception ever. My mind can turn the most beautiful thing into something ugly and the other way around. Pretty magical technology isn't it our sweet little devil angel mind. What a creator of all that is. And never the same.

  145. I arrive somewhere with each passing day, to some conclusion that might work for today, but will be useless tomorrow. But as for that final arrival-I've accepted the fact that it's not gonna happen in this lifetime in this dimension. We simply cannot grasp the ultimate truth with the puny instruments like our brains, and the revelations I have sometimes, thru meditation, with my consciousness...once I'm back into the body fully, once I'm out and about doing my daily routine, they tend to fade into the background...

    I'm just trying to enjoy it as much as I can, it's like reading a book-do I want to skip all those 500 hundred pages and read the end and close it once and for all? No. Just trying to stay afloat and have some fun before it's GAME OVER. And I know that at some point I will get all the answers and achieve my mastery and the rose will be fully bloomed. Guess, I'm patient:-)

    PS. Mmmm, just read your latest. I love your comments too!

  146. I guess my childhood wisdom (before I forgot most of it) was spot on. I always thought: "Never ask yourself the question what's the point of life". I guess I "knew" that there is no answer and thousand answers. Making peace with no answer and all its consequences could be a delightful life experience. In the same way it could become a delightful life by chaising thousand lightful answers. :D

    Maybe I should just stop asking this question. Granny always said: You ask too many question. The answer game is a tricky one." Or I should practice some elenapatience. :D

    I am off into the strange land of sleep.
    No question about that :b

  147. For Golden Andara

    “What could I say to you that would be of value, except that perhaps you seek too much, that as a result of your seeking you cannot find.”

    “When someone is seeking,” said Siddartha, “It happens quite easily that he only sees the thing that he is seeking; that he is unable to find anything, unable to absorb anything, because he is only thinking of the thing he is seeking, because he has a goal, because he is obsessed with his goal. Seeking means: to have a goal; but finding means: to be free, to be receptive, to have no goal. You, O worthy one, are perhaps indeed a seeker, for in striving towards your goal, you do not see many things that are under your nose.”

    “I have always thirsted for knowledge, I have always been full of questions.
    I have had to experience so much stupidity, so many vices, so much error, so much nausea, disillusionment and sorrow, just in order to become a child again and begin anew. I had to experience despair, I had to sink to the greatest mental depths, to thoughts of suicide, in order to experience grace.”

    “I believe that I am not responsible for the meaningfulness or meaninglessness of life, but that I am responsible for what I do with the life I've got.”

    “I shall no longer be instructed by the Yoga Veda or the Aharva Veda, or the ascetics, or any other doctrine whatsoever. I shall learn from myself, be a pupil of myself; I shall get to know myself, the mystery of Siddhartha." He looked around as if he were seeing the world for the first time. Beautiful was the world, colorful was the world, strange and mysterious was the world! Here was blue, here was yellow, here was green, the sky and the river flowed, the forest and the mountains were rigid, all of it was beautiful, all of it was mysterious and magical, and in its midst was he, Siddhartha, the awakening one, on the path to himself.”

    “One must find the source within one's own Self, one must possess it. Everything else was seeking -- a detour, an error.”

    “The reason why I do not know anything about myself, the reason why Siddhartha has remained alien and unknown to myself is due to one thing, to one single thing--I was afraid of myself, I was fleeing from myself. I was seeking Atman, I was seeking Brahman, I was determined to dismember myself and tear away its layers of husk in order to find in its unknown innermost recess the kernel at the heart of those layers, the Atman, life, the divine principle, the ultimate. But in so doing, I was losing myself.”

    “No, a true seeker, one who truly wished to find, could accept no doctrine. But the man who has found what he sought, such a man could approve of every doctrine, each and every one, every path, every goal; nothing separated him any longer from all those thousands of others who lived in the eternal, who breathed the Divine.”
    ― Hermann Hesse, Siddhartha ( a tale about one spiritual hitchhiker:-)

    “If only there were a dogma to believe in. Everything is contradictory, everything is tangential; there are no certainties anywhere. Everything can be interpreted one way and then again interpreted in the opposite sense. The whole of world history can be explained as development and progress and can also be seen as nothing but decadence and meaninglessness. Isn't there any truth? Is there no real and valid doctrine?" Joseph Knect said to his Music Master "there is truth, my boy. But the doctrine you desire, absolute perfect dogma that alone provides wisdom, does not exist. Nor should you long for a perfect doctrine, my friend rather, you should long for perfection in yourself. The deity is within you, not in ideas and books. Truth is lived not taught”
    ― Hermann Hesse

    “Let me say no more. Words do no justice to the hidden meaning. Everything immediately becomes slightly different when it is expressed in words, a little bit distorted, a little foolish...It is perfectly fine with me that what for one man is precious wisdom for another sounds like foolery.”

  148. ✨✨ ✨
    Oh Elena - you have no idea what your effort in finding and posting these quotes did to me. It feels like a divine rebooting of my system.
    It also silenced the internal war about the struggle to figure out why and what Teal is and what she means or means not to me.
    ✨✨ ✨

  149. When I found Teal, I truly lived and learnt the "absolute perfect dogma" presented by her at the time. Her teachings include relief for many many basic fears of human kind. My "final goal" and deep hopes for peace coming along this way...I archived and felt it. Until the perfect became unperfect because I was observing Teal "interpreting one way and then again interpreting in the opposite sense", and saw more of her "private" persona. Her point about no perfect gurus is kind of right but she also needs to include her teaching as well ( ; . I was upset when the peace left which originally came with her very selfconfident and sure statements like: "death is awesome, you picked your family, there are safe ways to get away from pain, please follow your desire, you can have it all by doing certain things etc." It felt like a proper kick in the ass, thrown out of paradise.

    Teal & Blake built a spiritual Taxi Cab Company for fearful seekers standing along the road in the dark and would like to travel to spiritual locations of mind. They have a big bumper sticker on their teal colored cabs "We help you to find your destination of happiness." The person who jumps into the cab is self responsible to do so and to "give over" to the driver. Included in the taxi ride is a free peep show, a free " I tell you everything about my life" story by the driver, some flattering compliment tributes to the guest and compassionate donation calls "Save Teal"…. the tip business is an own business in itself.

    In case you get annoyed during your cab ride by peep shows, endless drama stories and donation calls, they allow you to simple leave the taxi and claim that they still fulfilled their mission statement because you obviously are more happy now after leaving the cab. ( ; btw: all tips, fees and charges are not refundable. Sorry. And in case you get annoyed that the taxi cab business is doing so well that they can exchange mitsubishi with limousines …. damn - you obviously did something wrong because the the teaching works for the business. Obviously.

    Now: the 1.5 years taxi ride was awesome at the beginning and now - standing in the rainy dark streets again after fleeing the cab - I have to acknowledge that it was me who placed my nice little ass on the cab seat in the first place. I blame my restless seeking for it. Teal's teaching work very well - for herself ( : I am sure she can buy 6 of the best water boilers now…if she would like to. It doesn't work for me.

    And for now, I enjoy the consequences of Elena's awesome quote post and just chill like a child. When I was small I spent my life making teddy sand soup with grass flavor and I was the best chef on earth in this moment. When I cut my finger I cried like a tiger until I didn't and forgot about it. Nobody ever taught me how to make the perfect grass sand soup but I knew that is was the best. And nobody ever taught me to cry about pain and to forget about it when it's over. I just did it.
    And as a child I never asked myself the most annoying question on earth: what's the point of life and how to manage it? I just did what I wanted to do in every moment and I was cool with it

    ( ;

  150. :-))
    Taxi cab analogy is great! Beautiful post and such a lovely ending.

    I woke up today and I've realized that the spring is coming and soon everything will be blossoming and birds will be singing more enthusiastically and there will be a gentle fragrance in the warm air...so it's time to fall madly in love for me once again! With the world:-) I want to drink that magic potion and think no more, but to feel and to dream instead. My mind can have a break from all this analyzing and processing different ideas, it's time for my heart to lead me. Just enjoying to the fullest being alive and being receptive of all the beauty with my senses freshly sharpened. More dancing, more laughing, more feeling and loving. To hell with everything else. Love is the meaning in itself.

    Pain may well remind us that we are alive, but love reminds us why we are alive.
    - Trystan Owain Hughes

    A lifetime without Love is of no account
    Love is the Water of Life
    Drink it down with heart and soul

  151. Most of the teachings speak to my mind, except for the rare gem. My head is so full of some useless information by now. Time for a MAJOR spring cleaning!
    Music can find its way to the heart, to the soul better than the words...quieting the restless mind.

    Vivaldi Spring:

    “And all the voices, all the goals, all the yearnings, all the sorrows, all the pleasures, all the good and evil, all of them together was the world. All of them together was the stream of events, the music of life.”


  152. After a long walk at the beach I had some kind of flashes in my endlessly wired brain:

    The question is the cause of everything.
    The answer is the effect
    Both enfold the play of life
    Cause and effect are action and reaction.
    I am the cause and I am the effect.
    I am all that is.
    I am the question of life and that causes life to be alive.
    I am the observer of the ever-changing relationships between light, shapes and movements… those endless circles of enfolding and overlapping.
    I am the flower of life.

    My truth is the only truth that is - now.
    You appear in me and I appear in you.
    We both are our own centre points in the universe and co exist.
    I am the cause of your being.
    You are part of my ever changing truth.

    I created all that is. Each war, each fight, each love, each peace.
    Your truth is your truth
    My truth is my truth
    Both can co exist or eleminate each other.

    Teal's truth works for her (Bling Bling)
    In her universe she is the Arcturian with a mission and some words
    Because it is her truth it will manifest.

    Her truth is not my truth
    I can start a war or I can acknowledge her truth and let it be.
    By making sb else's truth to your truth, it was your truth is the first place as you created this person. And if you take it down then so because your universe just changed according to you.
    I can celebrate that everybody carries an unique truth in his- or herself and lives accordingly to it.

    Any question is the end of me being present.
    And there lies the suffering of a focused question.
    My life is a question in itself but I never know the question.
    That is the difference.

    I can be at peace with this.
    And looking forward to the spring.
    I have nothing against winter.
    I love life.


  153. empty the hearts
    empty the brains
    empty the body
    empty the house

    May your heart reach for the hand of the brain and guide it.
    Whatever that means.
    Allow life to enfold and participate in it full of excitement and joy.

    Just like my dog.
    She knows nothing, and by that enjoyes the state of not-knowing.

  154. When I was six, I observed my mum working in the garden all day long. I came running to her and said:

    I can't imagine not to play.
    I never want to work
    I always want to play for the rest of my life.

    I forgot what she answered.
    Maybe because I didn't ask a question.
    It was a statement.
    My truth.

  155. Elena and GA and all, thanks for your lovely writings.

    The last few days I have been feeling really awful because spring is coming and I am still in the same reistant place about my life. I have been refusing and unable to see what I would like. There is nothing I really want tangible except the space to keep being unreasonable till i quit.

    I do not believe in the systems around. I am not interetsed in marketing or products or problems/solutions. I used to work as an RN.Now I do not want to work or do anything like I used to want to do.

    I was expecting i would cross some "threshold" where I would be a different person. Now my "reality" looks broke and lonely today and I am in doubt and yet at the same time, something IMPORTANT to me seems to be at the bottom line of my choices that look screwy.

    What I desire is a direct connection to my source of supply and to see the world as magic with miracles. Why won't I be reasonable and settle down to "business" of my life OR make the transition to "the frequency"???

    All I can say I know is my choices led me here. And I am stubborn. I ask myself in the mirror whI I am so pig headed about demanding to be an heiress of benevolence. I really still want to be taken care of by source so I feel it and know it. I realize I am self preoccupied but I crave the feeling of connection with grace as a child who can relax in arms that feel solid. The mind just takes me to ideas. People seem unreliable. I FEEL UNRELIABLE.
    i feel i lost the ability to get along with my world and no other one looks available at the moment.

    I love in such an abstract way and so NOT loving the bricks and the dirt in my life. That is my shadow but it glares and does not melt even when I ask it in to awareness to cuddle.

    Maybe I have cracked? Thanks for listening. Thanks LaVaughn, coming to this salon and venting makes me feel better.

  156. This is an interesting doc on fame "starsuckers"


  157. Me2yesu, I can recognize some of myself in your post.
    Ten mins into the video, it's quite disturbing.

  158. You're welcome, me2yesu, and thank you and everyone else for a great read. What an awesome dialog. I have very little to add except that the certitude that Sarbdeep, et al., found so appealing in teal was one of the biggest turn-offs for me. Anyone who projects that kind of authority and certainty makes me nervous.

    I craved certainty a long time ago and that led me into born-again Christianity. Man were those people sure about stuff. I heard a lot of "I know that I know." That's a common aphorism among evangelicals. But at a certain point I realized that all I had to show for my investment was a lot of cognitive dissonance and that I couldn't get the questions to stop asking themselves. I realized that I'd been brainwashed a little. And I undertook the painful process of deprogramming myself. The college classes helped. A lot. So I'm not so fond of certainty anymore.

    I found that with some of the new age teachers, the dogmatism is more covert. Most of them know better than to openly state that they have all the answers. They say a lot of the right things about finding your own truth within. But after a while, you find out that a lot of them don't really mean it, and they undermine that idea in many subtle ways. What blew my mind about teal was that she's not even subtle about her certitude and barely gives lip service to the platitudes about finding your own truth. She always right.

    It was so obvious in that discussion between her and her new hubby. He was drawn to how "sure" she sounded. And now he's coming face to face with what that kind of certainty means in day to day life. It means she'll wait for a while for him to realize she's right but she IS right and his inner truth is wrong.

    I'm more of a Socratic thinker. I like to pick ideas apart and keep evolving my thinking. I know that any answer I find today could give way at any time to new information and analysis. I embrace the mystery. "I know that I know nothing," is something Socrates is often quoted as saying. That's not really true either, which makes it kind of a perfect quote. It's really more of an idea suggested in the writings about Socrates.

    Elena, thank you for the Siddhartha quotes. I'm realizing that I read book for a religion class around the time that I was clearing the fog from my great fundamentalist experiment. It probably informed my thinking more than I realized.

    “Belief is the death of intelligence. As soon as one believes a doctrine of any sort, or assumes certitude, one stops thinking about that aspect of existence.” ~ Robert Anton Wilson

    "If you meet the Buddha on the road, kill him." ~ Sheldon Kopp

  159. 'The word "shaman" in Celtic is "geilt" or "gwelt." Guilt. I am guilty. I chose to breach the self-imposed and society imposed glass ceiling to learn to see without seeing, hear without hearing, touch without feeling yet knowing I have indeed touched. I can breathe the air and hear from my breath what the wind has to say about where it has been. Every action is sacred, meaningful and filled with life that I didn't - wasn't able to - notice before. I was limited in vision. There is no separation between body and spirit. There is no superiority in the sexes, we are all equal. Creation is a totality of several parts, not divided into trinities - body, mind and spirit - and definately not divided into "inner" and "outer." And this leads to the deepest understanding of Oneness. It is all One. We are all related!'

    Thank you so much for this, GA. I hope you'll share more about your journey with Celtic shamanism as you go along. A couple of things came to mind when I read this. Firstly, the origins of the word shaman which has come to mean indigenous spiritual practices from around the globe. It comes from Siberian Tungu practices and really means "one who knows." I never took that to mean, someone who knows everything and has all the answers. As I understand it, it means something more along the lines of one who has knows that there is something behind the veil and how to access it.

    Possibly of interest, I read this article yesterday and it really speaks to the trap of dualistic thinking inherent in the mind-body idea and that we need to begin to think holistically in a more genuine sense. Your quote put me in mind. http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/shift-mind/201001/beyond-the-mind-body-connection

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  164. Will keep you updated on my celtic journey LV ( : and thanks again for the article link. Will dive into it. Always great stuff.

  165. I love this guy. He just clarified something for me

    The Difference between Solipsism and Non-Duality


  166. I noticed some interesting things this morning when I tried to find the latest Tea Time with Teal "podcast." Not only is it Tea Time with Teal instead of Tea Time with the Swans. Not only is there a very telling Freudian slip wherein the second episode is called Teal Time with Teal. There don't appear to be direct links to ANY of them. The page is here but there are no links to it within the website. I was only able to find it by very indirect means. They're posted on YouTube through the Spiritual Catalyst account but they're not listed there either. And, as discussed, it's called a podcast but I sure don't see how it is one. It's not on iTunes and there's nothing explaining where or how it can be downloaded.

    So she's rolled out this new feature and it's almost completely hidden. I don't know. Maybe they'll get things properly updated but it seems a little sloppy for this tech savvy bunch.

    Oh, and PS, there's no new "weekly" episode yet. So we have 3/4, 3/11, and...

  167. You call it podcast - although it's not a podcast - to get a weekly radioshow. The univers is listening LaVaughn - always ;D

  168. Well, maybe "the universe" will have better luck at finding the damn thing.

  169. Universe is patient. If I wouldn't know better I would say that you are on the hook of Tea with Teal :b

    And I decided to take down my memoirs. Must have been the wine. The comment section looks a bit messy now.

  170. I feel better today after writing and reading elna's response. I agree that the doc on fame was intense as it shows the huge abyss .....the maw of the consuming culture...the intent is just eating up the world and like all "substances" we are fuel....It intends only to continue itself and will eat you up and spit you out and move on to fresh crops.

    Elena, I never had children so i cannot give any support but I think where you are in your knowing and literally maybe "where you are" may be the perfect place for wee ones? IF you want to be a parent? I agree I would keep the kids in a secure location until 7 and actually consciously pointedly teach to the "mind control" that is used.

    I wish us all a very snuggly day in our lives...Full and satisfying like a great meal. Love, Maggie

  171. HI Maggie, did you have secret email chat with Elena or are you talking about my thoughts in regards to children? :D

    You sound much better - nice to see.

  172. OOPs GA. I did mistake the author of the posts including thinking about children and so I apologize but the thoughts are still true...
    the posts seem to be disappeared now but I see where they used to be. From yesterday to now for no reason, I feel better. That is just a miracle hehe. Thanks for noticing.

  173. Beautiful ( ;
    Yes I took them down now.
    ( ;

  174. Lovely episode with Sarbdeep and Teal. Teal turns into a different creature when it is not all about her but a dialog.

    Hi Sarbdeep, I know you are reading the blog. You used the same sentences posted here to describe the last episode. :D

  175. I was wondering - the guesture which Teal does after blowing kisses (2 fingers in the air) - what is that? It doesn't feel great. She did that in the other episodes as well.
    I've just fallen in love with Sarbdeep - I love how he is expressing himself. Teal found herself a nice man :D

  176. Looks like we have a new tea time on masculinity. I'll have to take a look later if I can carve out some time.

  177. "So some people might say 'when I watch Teal's videos, I feel really free, and I would really like to adopt some of the mannerisms that Teal exhibits' ".

    First I was like -Errrrrr huh?- and then I was like -whahahahahahaha-. Truly this is another hilarious TealTime episode, well worth the watch for entertainment purposes.

  178. Wow, first it was Maggie's post that hit close to home, then an entire Andara's memoir that could've been easily written by myself ( after some wino ;-). Thank you for sharing. Except for a few differences, with the external details mostly, lot's of stuff resonates. So, me2yesu, I enjoyed your response to "me":-)) And a while back I did bring up the kids subject.
    Oh, my Soviet childhood! I would never trade it for any other! Maybe it was somewhat tough on our parents, but we children were really taken care of. So much free stuff for us, like extracurricular activities, amazing summer camps and the educational system in public schools was better. And teachers were like our parents almost, they were so involved, we were like a big family.Yep, the toys were lousy, but we really utilized our own imagination to come up with exciting, active games outdoors, and some more intellectual ones for rainy days inside. Very little TV, only 2 channels, but the movies, cartoons, and some programs were really nice. They were teaching us about good values, with quite a few spiritual messages, surprisingly, now that I am able to analize them better. Although, as a child, I did spend a few years away from it all and lived in Nigeria and Ghana. Fun times:-)

  179. Well... that was ghastly. My husband got home from work early so I, once again, forced him to watch Tea Time or Teal Time or whatever the fuck it's called. He's off nursing a sick headache now. I'm sure I'll have more to say on this later but for now I just want to say that Dave Foley is a man with a good attitude towards menstruation. Yes, he's the guy. The guy with a good attitude towards menstruation.


  180. I think the reason why you can't find any direct links to the "podcasts" is that they want you to subscribe to the newsletter. In the beginning of the last couple of Ask Teal videos, it says to subscribe for access to the new podcast. The "podcasts" are made private on youtube, so one would need the link they send you in order to access them.

  181. Thank you, August. So, it's announced in the newsletter. Well, clearly it's not designed to promote the newsletter because they're not promoted anywhere else in print. Here's the irony. She keeps talking about how the universe wants everyone to be public and then makes the videos in which talks about that this a kind of hidden, secret thing available to insiders. ;- And she even said in this last one that she "chose" not to delete the previous one. Why would that be a decision at all? Wouldn't she be going against universal truth if she deleted it? Oh, but see, that one was really embarrassing for her and that, I think, is an exception to the universal law -- an escape clause, if you will.

  182. The FIRST radio interview without spending 20 min on torture descriptions. Thumbs up. I didn't know that they parents sold everything and went to a buddhist monastery. Kind of amazing!


  183. LV "http://youtu.be/ppuMaQ4hZE4"


  184. Men = Men
    struation = The state of being under œstrual influence, or of having sexual desire.

    there is the male relationship to it. You BETTER have a great attitude towards it hahahaha . But now seriously - the most balanced men I've dated with the most beautiful male energy always had a wonderful relationship towards this monthly event. And they all had another thing in common. They always knew about the Kundalini explosion and were admiring this opportunity for a female. One was even jealous - straaaange.

  185. I must briefly interrupt this conversation to deliver the following message from spirit:

    "The gates are now open around the world."

    As you were.

  186. I did know that about the monastery. She's made reference to that before. I don't think I'll be listening to that any time soon, though. I'm kind of tealed out after that "podcast" which I'm still processing. Because huh?

  187. LaVaughn, how do I find the gate?

  188. Hi Elena, I was given a very specific message and phrasing and I haven't been give leave to expand on that at this time. I may later. I hope sooner but for now, that's as much as I've been allowed to say.

    I will say this, though. If that message resonates for you, I'd take that to spirit, whatever that means for you, and see where you're directed. My sense is that it was meant to kindle awareness, start a process, rather than complete it. When I can elaborate, I will.

  189. Hi Elena, just saw your answer now. Glad that you still saw it before I took it down. Yes childhood was amazing. Camps and hundred mothers :D

  190. The sign Teal often makes does look a little like the kind of 'devil horns' that some people have said are made at some music concerts. However if you look carefully it is American Sign language (ASL) for 'I Love You'. The hand makes a shape a bit like an 'L' and a 'U' https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-1Ripm6RuDU

  191. I think maybe teal is trying to drive the people who think she's really a Satanic, Illuminati plant absolutely crazy. That symbol is often, and I mean often, conflated with the "Horns of Baphomet." Musicians, politicians are all fair game when they use that hand sign. Did you know Helen Keller was a secret Satanist? See, I did not know that. But it's on the internet so it must be true. http://www.jesus-is-savior.com/False%20Religions/Wicca%20&%20Witchcraft/signs_of_satan.htm

  192. Yes, I really think she does deliberately provoke some people. Or maybe it is just non-resistance, and she thinks 'should I make that sign, or say this or that, what will people think' and then she doesn't like that whole thought process so just does it as she wants and feels to do. With so many people watching her videos a fair proportion will be deaf as well.


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