I was once close friends with Teal Swan. This was us. I met her in the summer of 2011. We became close instantly. I had never met anyone like her before. She was different, and I like different. One of the first things Teal told me was that she was an alien and that there was a reason why I had come back to her, all in a very detailed fashion. That we were colleagues. Okay,cool- I can handle this, I’ve had strange experiences all my life this was something I could entertain. It wasn’t weird. Simply intriguing. And for a bonus, I fit in here.
In the fall of 2011, just after Thanksgiving, I had gotten in contact with the creator of Spirit Science. I introduced Teal to the website and thought it would be cool for her to upload this question and answer type video series that she was talking about doing, a little like the Abraham Hicks styleforum that we all knew and loved. She had held her first Synchronization workshop in Salt Lake and published her first book “Sculptor in the Sky” just before we had met. When she began to work with Spirit Science, I had moved to the Virgin Islands, and from afar I watched her views soar. It was amazing and exciting, we skyped often. She told me that she’d come and visit me in the astral plane. Comforting and strange at the same time. But I had had weird out of body travels before so I wasn’t going to doubt her experience.
We had this inside joke, when I would stay over at her house at night we’d say to each other “goodnight! I’ll see you in 5.” Because of our strange and vivid dreams. Life with Teal was great. I loved her very much. Each morning we would wake up, she’d cook an awesome breakfast for her family, we’d watch this boxed set of Abraham Hicks dvd’s that she had and then she’d get to work typing up a script for an Ask Teal episode. Each night she would sing her son to sleep.
She had bookshelves full to the brim with esoteric, self-help as well as parapsychology and occult type books. They were all annotated and dog-eared. She would write down my name eventually next to an aura color and personality type. She and I both had a fascination with Human Psychology and philosophy so we got along great. It wasn’t soon after that she began to tell me about her dark past. It was detailed. It was calculated. It would have made an amazing novel, and I let her tell it with my mind open to it. Even though a lot didn’t add up. After all you never question the victim… right? Right?
It was soon though that she was talking about this communal living and this desire for money, fame and a wealthy lifestyle. She wanted to change the world and she was born for this. A lot of people want to change the world and they do so everyday. She saw things differently and people seemed to appreciate it. She wanted to help people. Teal was the most dedicated person I had ever met.
I was able to see what Teal was doing from very early on. It didn’t take long to notice how every piece of her life is carefully calculated. Her friendships, her interactions, her reasoning behind everything she does, her voice and every movement. It is designed to draw you in, to captivate you. It didn’t bother me at first. I am a loyal person. Her behavior was just her behavior, whatever.
Our friendship took a drastic turn when I began struggling with extreme PTSD after I was raped by the man I was traveling with. I was experiencing hallucinations, depersonalization and delusion thoughts, I didn’t know who I was anymore. I was lost. I needed to handle it with medication. I have a great deal of respect for the field of Psychology and Psychiatry. Instead, she wanted me to tell her all about what I was experiencing, which was fine- she was a friend, friends talk. These strange and vivid thoughts made me feel insane. When I did tell her, she asked if I remembered certain things. If I said yes that was fine. If I said no, I just couldn’t see what she sees… “Go into it, what happened next, what happened next.” It began to get twisted. Suddenly I was feeling like I should be remembering something that never happened… I was told it was valid, not to question it. You have seen this too, I am sure when she uses the phrase “cop out” to bully you into believing she knows the ultimate truth about you.
If I didn’t believe her, she’d get frustrated. I just wanted to hang out and not do all of this deep work (call me unconscious, I dare you). I began to feel that she was overstepping her boundaries. The absolute apex of my relationship with Teal came when she attempted to make me believe that I grew up in the very satanic cult she was a part of. I knew my childhood- but Teal knew me better than I know myself. I was being driven absolutely mad. I loved her so much but we both had these butting-head type of differences and disagreements- disagreements that I found increasingly harmful to my psyche. Funny thing about Teal is that she will tell you “from universal perspective it’s all valid, it all needs to be dissected, it is your repressed memories” Repressed memories in general are a very controversial topic in the field of psychology. It is MUCH more likely that a memory is implanted than to be repressed. We both kind of had to back away from another if we were going to make this friendship work.
Eventually Teal gave me the name of her Psychologist that she had seen for the last however many years… the one who changed her life. The one who “specializes” in Satanic abuse because it is such a massive problem here in the State of Utah. Barbara Snow. I visited her just to see if I could get any answers, for myself or for Teals behavior. It was almost immediate that the leading questions began. I would tell her exactly what was on my mind- and suddenly she would finish my sentences. Safe to say I got the answers I was looking for. Her methods are very controversial. She believes heavily in the idea of repressed memories. Searching her name will pull up the articles describing her behavior almost immediately. She has had quite a few issues with other clients adopting storylines of Satanic abuse here in the State of Utah, having her license revoked 3 times since the mid-2000’s (around the time Teal was19). All of this information is open-source. I believe Teal adopted this method as gospel.
So, let me say this- Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is a very serious illness, it should be treated by Professionals who have gone through actual University to attain their degrees. By Professionals who are licensed by the State. Psychology is not to be taken lightly. It isn’t a game.
Later on, Teal came up with excuses as to why I could not be trusted. This excuse involved the cult that we were supposedly a part of. Teal continued her storyline that I was a part of cult she was in, and that I was meant to drag her back to that hell, but more obvious than her “back door” way of manipulating me into submission was the fact that she could tell I knew her secrets (and we all know and love how Teal mentions “getting needs met through “backdoor manipulation” amiright?!). I was told that I had been trained by the cult to bring her back if things got too risky with her being out in the world. I was told that I would either leave and be free from the cult or that I would digress. I was told that I was programed to do exactly what I am doing now- to speak out.
The truth is that if you are building a world upon lies- you will absolutely be paranoid of being found out, you won’t trust anyone and you can easily train the vulnerable ones to hold two congruent truths at once without them even knowing it’s happening. It doesn’t take a psychic to know that someone is a danger to the empire you create with lies. Teal is a fascinating character. She would make a brilliant writer if the work were fiction instead of something that she is trying to pass off as real. There are many lives at stake here. Including all of yours.
Teal doesn’t understand the human psyche…. She has no place to give herself authority over others. She may understand her own psychology, but her psychology is skewed by a heightened sense of herself. Teal has studied various cult leaders down to a tee. She relates to them not because she is smart and cunning- but because she only has the capability to think exactly as they do. Though she was never inducted into one herself, she IS using the tactics that she has learned through various measures of psychology. The man that she created “Doc” to be are really just aspects of her that she channels into this character in order to embellish a back story. This “Doc” character is based off of a man that Teal knew growing up. Again- it isn’t politically correct to question the victim. She learned that early on. It is part of the reason she has so many followers with dejected souls. She says that everyone is looking for a place to belong because of an unmet need, when the truth is- some of us are just fine on our own. Just because she says she sees things from “source perspective” doesn’t mean that you should hang on her every word. There is a reason she places herself on a pedestal like that.
It is very difficult to be friends with someone who plays mind games for fun, for life, for a career. It is another thing entirely when you care about them regardless of their Narcissistic and Psychopathic tendencies. I am not trying to paint myself as “good” by any means against Teal. I smoke, I drink, I make mistakes, I am impulsive, I am not spiritual.
Twenty Thirteen and The Suicide Obsession
In 2013, our friend Leslie committed suicide. I met her earlier that year and didn’t know her well, but she would reach out when she was sad. It struck me as odd when Teal, her husband and I were sitting there talking about it that her reaction was to say (in paraphrase) “I am not upset because she’s dead, I am upset about the fact that I lost a client and it could hurt my credibility.” It blew me away. And I just sat there. A few days later, we both attended Leslie’s funeral. Blake had set up a camera and Teal was the last person to speak. She introduced herself as Leslie’s Spiritual Guide stating “suicide is never the answer.”
A week or so later Teal released her first video on suicide. Calling suicide a reset button. As someone who has been there before, Teal made suicide sound like a siren’s call. I knew that pull, I know what it feels like to want it. But she would take out the hardest part for a lot of people with her words. It’s just a step off of a curb. Yes- I related to that. I related to her. But it wasn’t right. At all. As someone who has been suicidal, who has dealt with self harm- borderline personality disorder and bipolar… I found myself needing to back away again. It was to much for a person struggling with mental illness already to handle. I began to notice that Teal had an affect on people. She sets herself up to be that way and she sets up those that follow her to be manipulated. She is calculated, she watched for reaction, she makes you believe that she is inside your head. She makes you believe that she sees the truth. The truth is- she likes the control. The power over other people.
Later during a Synchronization Workshop in Santa Barbara, Teal would mention Leslie. She mentioned her only as her “first client lost to suicide”, stating that they had “that very serious sit down talk” was Leslie going to commit to life or not? Teal mentioned that, the answer to the question was “‘no, I am done’. So there is nothing any healer could ever do for that type of vibration- which is totally fine.” She went on to tell her audience in a humorous tone that Leslie’s death was in vain- as she reincarnated 2 days later into the same situation that caused her to leave this life. The audience laughed. They all laughed at Leslie…
There is so much wrong here. Teal made a grave mistake by not providing Leslie with the option of taking her to the hospital. It is a stressful situation to deal with someone who is suicidal. It can be hard to know what to say. It is important that the suicidal person visits a mental health professional. A “spiritual guide” is not a mental health professional- no matter how much they portray themselves to be.
Recently, a video was placed online. It contains 40 minutes of nothing but Teal speaking of suicide, glorifying suicide and coaxing guests on stage into believe that there is nothing wrong with suicide.
Summer Twenty Thirteen.
It was in the summer of 2013 that I met her new housemates, Cameron, Justin, Flavia and Graciela- the only one of that group who still lives with her today.The first thing that Justin told me when I met him, was that he had been doing trauma work with Teal and recently discovered he had been severely abused but repressed it. He was also told that he was an alien. I was shocked but not surprised, as Teal had tried this very tactic on me. I witnessed how poorly Cameron was treated because she too saw through Teal. Although Teal never told me think about whether I wanted to commit to life or not- I have witnessed it happen through Cameron and through the countless videos that you can find- submitted by Teal herself.
I also met Fallon, her new boyfriend (Teal decided to name him that- another grand cult tactic). Out of respect for him I will not share his real name. I witnessed Teal manipulate this man so that he would protect her no matter what. He is adorned with symbolic tattoos that Teal drew herself. In the end she publicly diagnosed him as a psychopath and threw him to the mercy of her followers in order to gain sympathy. He is one of the kindest men i have ever met and has been through hell after what he endured, privately and publicly in respect to Teal- which also makes him one of the strongest and most understanding.
When dealing with someone like her, it takes a lot. Her game of mental chess is intense. Her manipulation and control becomes too much. You begin to feel like she is inside your mind and controlling what you believe. This is gaslighting at its finest.
The most frustrating part was that I would disagree with her on so many points. And as soon as you question her, the mind games begin, and if that doesn’t work- you are out. You cannot question Teal. She sees you, knows you better than you know yourself. Even if all you want is the truth, even if you would never judge her no matter the truth. The only problem is- the lies are becoming much worse and more manipulative.
Twenty Fifteen and Twenty Sixteen
In 2015 I was hospitalized. Having been raped 3 years before, the stress of dealing with it on my own was too much to handle anymore. It was that same year that I told Teal about it. She knew my perpetrator well. She got her start uploading to his website. I knew that they had a falling out, so I felt okay talking to her. It wasn’t that I wanted to rekindle our friendship- but I wanted to make sure that everyone that I knew back then had the chance to know what was about to happen- just incase they were still associating with the man who raped me. She listened and then I left. We still couldn’t handle each other so we kept this meeting short and too the point.
In 2016 my rapist came into town looking for me and hoping to talk with Teal. He messaged me. I didn’t say a word back. I received a message from Teal stating that he was in town, and that she was letting me know that he might try to talk to me. I told her he already tried. She told me that she had called the Police. I was grateful that she had my back in this, despite us not being close anymore.
A little later that year I found out that my rapist was publicizing her work. The more I looked into it, the more I had realized that Teal had been publishing her work on Spirit Science again since the winter- when she had told me that she called the police on him. After a little more digging, I found out that Blake had set up a meeting between my rapists organization and Teal’s organization. I was understandably livid. Why was this person working directly with my rapist? After everything I told her in confidence? After supposedly enduring sexual abuse herself?
I decided to confront her about it. I messaged her and asked her why? Why was she working with my rapist? Her response is one that I will never forget.
“It’s business. And besides, I don’t believe you were raped. You have shitty boundaries.”
When asked again, she explained that she needed his “Alexa rating” which ranked in the 100’s as opposed to her lower rating hundred-thousand away from being #1. The woman who validates truth attempted to tell me that what happened to me, didn’t. My rape was an inconvenient truth. Teal Swan who supposedly experienced rape and trauma for 13 years wanted to work with her friends rapist because he could get her higher ratings- more traffic to her content. She serves one person on this earth. Herself.
We have seen this tendency time and time again, from an interview in 2013 where she states a panel of beings would construct how she looked in this life. That she is beautiful to people of all Continents, as opposed to “an African woman considered beautiful coming to America only be considered pretty ugly”. To her written and video blogs. She is the living definition of Narcissism.
I began to notice that Teal was banking her entire career on the political correctness of “NEVER QUESTION THE VICTIM”. What if this victim IS a pathological liar? What if she lies even when she doesn’t have to? What then? **This is not to say that she hasn’t been through something terribly traumatic at some point in her life**
I noticed something that I would never put below Teal when she married the man who became her ex husband shortly after. She wrote a long article all about the name that she would be taking. How this new name was a representation of her new life. She was now a Supreme Swan. Paramahamsa. It became a MAJOR part of her brand. She took his name- and then tarnished him when he did nothing but help her career.
I can tell you with an extreme amount of certainty that Teal is the most dedicated person I have ever met. She is dedicated to running this facade that was her supposed childhood abuse between two cults by a man called “Doc”. I have seen the lies form right before my very eyes. I have seen the story change again and again. I have seen details edited out because she found out it wasn’t possible, I have seen both her and Blake back out of interviews that might be too difficult or in which they might feel cornered.
I have seen Teal lie about her extra-sensory abilities, claims that she cured people from cancer, claims that she travels out of body to prevent certain situations
I witnessed Teal tear down Esther Hicks and Eckhart Tolle to say “Spirituality needs a young pretty face”. Only years later to name drop Eckhart surrounding the release of her Completion Process.
Teal often states “we in the spiritual, self-help or Psychology field….”. Let me explain why this is harmful. Psychology and Spirituality do not belong in the same field. Psychology is a science of the processes of the brain. Spirituality is a system of belief- a faith. Faith can be helpful for people in life- especially in times of need. But your personal belief has no place within the realm of Psychology. Especially because what Teal is essentially doing is performing delicate trauma therapy in a setting which might feel personal and safe because you get to be on stage with your teacher- but its very public and that will influence how you feel and how you act.
It is illegal for Teal to be using such a process without a Degree and License in the state in which she lives. If you are thinking that Teal is a genius for knowing such grand forms of psychology without a degree, think again. She is misusing and abusing the field of Psychology to her own benefit- and by misuse I mean acting inappropriately using manipulation and calling it Psychology. Teal is known for her contradictory teachings based off of where an individual is within their own spiritual development. It’s easy to do and it creates a sense of cognitive dissonance in the minds of those subject to this type of abuse.
The Synchronisation Workshop is the perfect playground for a psychopath to roam free in full power. She is on stage, she pits herself against and above you by saying that she can see your vibration, she can see your thought forms, that all of you are there for the exact same purpose. This isn’t a magic trick, there is nothing special about it in anyway. It is plain programming. Cult Leaders around the World do this well. She never learned this behavior from a cult that she escaped from. She learned it because it’s all she has ever known.
I have watched her story conveniently change and adapt once she faced too much criticism.
I have been in touch with Blake off and on these last few months. Each time I have been very open about asking the difficult questions that many are coming to finally ask. The questions that are being overlooked by those that follow Teal blindly. I was able to get through to him after causing enough noise. He wrote me with a simple suggestion of asking Teal why we were no longer friends. It a truth that’s obvious. I could disrupt this following that she has, this fame that she needs so desperately. We had a civil discussion. I was thrilled when Blake decided he would like to talk to me despite knowing that I had some majorly difficult questions to ask. Things that to me, just didn’t add up at all. Things that to a lot of very rational people just can’t understand because it’s simply not possible.
Blake and I agreed that we should talk. I had questions, and he said he still cares about me. I was very much looking forward to this discussion- to finally getting somewhere. We agreed to meet in person. I was thrilled when Blake decided he would like to talk to me despite knowing that I had some majorly difficult questions to ask. Things that to me, just didn’t add up at all. Things that to A LOT of very rational people just can’t understand because it’s simply not possible. We had been friends and it had been a hell of a long time since the last time I saw him. We agreed on a time and place for the following day. I was ready to hear his side to the story. Unfortunately, I already knew that he wouldn’t be able to follow through. It was evident in his reasoning that Teal had warned him not to visit me. He told me he had a scheduling conflict. Of course he did. I knew this would likely be my only chance, so I pleaded with him to meet me.
All I wanted was the truth, for him to come clean. After the “scheduling conflict” copout wouldn’t work, he asked the next question that I knew was inevitable. “If you can’t fix things with Teal, why bother meeting?”. I told him that my friendship with him was not dependent on my relationship to Teal. Teal and I most likely would never be able to fix what we had because the manipulation was too much- this was personal. I was personally harmed in part by this woman’s lies and manipulations. He told me I needed to look at myself first. What good was that going to do now? This is all I have done for the last 5 years.
He mentioned that if I had anything to say, that Teal was standing there and to do so. I wanted to try and get through to Blake not Teal. I tried once more to get him to come and talk with me. It sucks because I strongly believe that he would have if it weren’t for Teal talking him down. I decided to ask my questions anyway right there instead: Why did Ale lie about Teals ex husband hiring a hitman? Why did he also lie about the fact that his ex wife did the same. Why tell a lie so embellished and dangerous without a shred of evidence to back it up? These types of lies are potentially dangerous to the person they are being told about. It puts them at risk for being attacked, it puts them at risk publicly. To my surprise he responded by continuing the narrative: “he did hire a hitman”. After I asked about Jason Freedman and lying for Teal in order to promote this insane story that would otherwise not hold any flack- he blocked me. This is their true authenticity movement.
I do not believe that Blake would be who he is today without the influence of Teal. Teal met Blake soon after the passing of his brother from a cycling accident at 18. Teal told Blake that she channeled his brother. I am sure it was convincing, with him being in such a vulnerable state. He has taken care of her every need ever since. I have seen first hand how loyal he is to her. So loyal that he wrote the first article ever published about her claiming to be an award winning journalist as well as a PHD- I know because the number published was his very own number that I had in my cell phone for him. Blakes family has a difficult time understanding his relationship to Teal. Blakes own mother feels a distain towards Teal.
Followers, Teal Tribe, Tealers
As authentic as you may view her to be, it is all a ploy to gain your sympathy and your empathy. I implore you, do not waste anymore of your time believing that she is your savior, that she sees through you, that she is in your brain. You are sovereign people. You are individuals. As I stated above, Teals every move is a calculation. She places herself above you as “The Spiritual Catalyst”- the extrasensory omnipotent. Has she ever been able to prove her abilities? I have seen her personally over power so many of you by telling you that you feel a certain way even if you know you don’t feel it. It is a classing con trick. Teal has been disproven time and time again.
To those of you who believe that a Degree is “just a piece of paper” and that Teal is “Helping so many people”… take a look around. How many of you have lost jobs and are having to turn to means like Gofundme when you could make an honest living and be satisfied. Is every cell of you screaming that your reality is in jeopardy right now? Are you denying it? How many of you have shunned family for not seeing reality through your lenses. How many of you have adopted dizzying stories of abuse, causing everyday life things to throw you into a triggered state? Many of you have dedicated many years of your life to this woman, saving all of your money to attend her retreats, spending your time watching her content online. Defending her. I know it’s hard to look at this situation from another viewpoint. But this is exactly where she wants you to be. Defending even the pettiest of lies so that she can live in this reality that she has build around her.
In Conclusion- Twenty Seventeen
Teal is not the person that she portrays herself to be.I know that a lot of you will say- no one could possibly come up with that type of story, so detailed without it being true. The truth is, people can and people do. There have been quite a few before Teal who have created stories to gain exposure in the world, to gain a status. Would Teal have the affect on people that she does without her dark past? Probably not. When I knew her, I remember her telling me that she “chose into this life path” including her looks, full of the worst kinds of abuse just so that she could reach the world with her message. To reach anyone and anything. She experienced the darkest past so that there is nothing that shocks her- she understands all things.
Respectfully, when Cameron came forward with her story, I was so proud of her. I wasn’t ready to share mine yet. Teal and I live in the same State not 5 miles from one another. I know what she is capable of. I wasn’t ready then. I had a lot I needed to make sure got done before I came forward. I was taking care of my own mental health after everything that happened in 2012. In particular my rape case. I thank Cameron from the bottom of my heart for doing what she did and for facing such horrible amounts of criticism.
My biggest problem after witnessing all I have, is that Teal associates herself with the Psychology community and yet uses methods that are not only controversial to the field, but for which she has no training, no education, no degree or certification. Her Completion Process puts its “certified” practitioners at risk for future trouble with the Law, facing the same fate of being cited by Government Officials for practicing Psychology without a license.
In response to this article, I am sure Teal will respond more or less carefully than she has in the past. That’s fine. She has absolutely no power over me now and I am ready to share my story and put this to rest- finally. After everything that I went through in 2012 and 2013 I went back to University to study Psychology and Criminal Justice- working towards this Degree has been the most rewarding and incredible experience of my life.
And finally, to those of you who may dismiss me as a “jealous hater, obsessing over someone instead of leading my own life”. This is such an important cause for me. I witnessed first hand how troubling it can be to be at the mercy of a true psychopath. That word can be thrown around a lot- and I assure you, this is not one of those times. It is a dizzying maze to return from. I want you to know- that I am so glad to be away for the grip of this relationship. I am thankful every day that I do not have to deal with covering up lies and mistruths everyday. I am thankful not to have thousands of fans, grateful not to have to go to greater and greater lengths to appease my sense of greatness to myself. Teal’s life is one of misery and a tangled web of lies. I hope that one day she will receive the help that she needs.
I knew Teal very well, not because I am some psychic or extrasensory but because I am human and I have endured the insanity myself. I stayed silent for a long time, first out of loyalty, but it’s gone too far now. Before you dismiss this as a non factual article- please tell me, is there any factual evidence against this? To see the absolute facts- do your research.
This is a Cult- and it will only get more and more dangerous the longer you stay, please be careful. Please take a moment to evaluate your current situation. It can be very difficult to maneuver your way back to reality- but there are many people, including myself who have found life after this type of abuse.