A client of mine was working through the all-important process of separating from her parents. She had reached an age at which she felt it was time to move out of their house and begin her journey as an independent adult. Her progress was slowed by feelings of incompletion with her mother. In her mind, the lingering connection appeared as a thick, red, fleshy cord. Over and over again, she tried to imagine cutting that cord. She visualized knives and scissors severing the nebulous object but she did not feel satisfied.

Then she had an idea. She purchased a can of cranberry sauce, the kind that slides out of the can as a solid, gelatinous roll. She put it on a plate and, with a simple kitchen knife, she sliced it clean in half. Today, my client lives in her own apartment and is enjoying a very different dynamic with both of her parents.

I share this story because it is one the finest illustrations of "ritual" I have ever heard. My client utilized representational objects to express an internal process of transformation.

In ceremonial ritual, we utilize certain tools as representational objects. We aren't limited to these but there is so much collective agreement on their purpose that they have become classics. Some of the staples are: candle, incense, anointing oil, and dead sea salt.

A candle is a marvelous point of visual focus in a ritual and can represent anything from divine light to individual illumination. Some people carve words or symbols into their ritual candles before anointing and burning them and sign them with their names, birth dates, and astrological sun signs. My opinion? If it sharpens your focus, do it. Many practitioners of magical traditions, such as Wicca, believe that you should not extinguish the candle if possible. Let it complete its own process by burning down to nothing in a fire-safe location like a shower stall. If you must extinguish it, do not blow, as it disperses energy, but pinch or snuff the flame and only dispose of the remnant in a natural setting so that it may complete its life cycle.

Incense is a staple in traditional ritual. The word "perfume" means "by smoke" and harkens back to the ancient tradition of fragrancing the air. Anyone who has ever attended an Orthodox church has experienced the pervasive scent of pure Frankincense smoke billowing from handheld censors. If we are viewing ritual as a means of focusing the mind on transformation, the use of fragrance is completely logical. Smell is our first sense. Its interpretation bypasses the neocortex and goes straight to limbic brain where it directly affects our emotions and our autonomic body functions. Sandalwood, for example, slows our breathing, inducing a meditative state.

The same is true of the anointing oils. Inhaling the fragrance of essential oils while smoothing them onto the candle will assist you as you see, sense, or feel your goals and focus them into the candle to be actualized by its burning.

Salt is for cleansing. Just as saltwater clears infection from the body, it is said to purify any environment. Try bathing in it to prepare for ritual. Sprinkle a few grains around your sacred space to clear it of any unpleasant presences. Some ancient rituals call for pouring dry salt into a receptacle of water to symbolize the dissolving of evil.

There are certain ethical standards that are important in the construction of any ritual. The information that I have to share comes from my own explorations in Judeo-Christian beliefs, Wicca, Goddess traditions, womencraft, Native American traditions, most notably my training under Cherokee Mystic, Virginian Sandlin, and my personal experience in the twilight world. I encourage you, gentle reader, to construct your ritual in accordance with your own truth and in the way that evolves organically from your own consciousness.

If you want to call your ritual a "spell", that's fine. Just, please, do not think that you can cast a spell on another person, good or bad. There's a popular saying amongst Wiccans: "An it harm none, do as thou wilt." Wiccans also speak of the three-fold law. Anything you send out into the world will come back to you 3X3X3. Now here's the joke. You are and will always be the source of your own reality. Anything in your external world is a reflection of your internal world and you cannot cast a spell on anyone but yourself. That's as a good a reason as any I can think of that you will want to be responsible for the thought forms you create in the concentrated focus of ritual.

A realistic goal in the practice of ritual is that it facilitate internal shift and thereby bring about greater flow in your day-to-day life. A ritual can be viewed as a small play that acts out your internal drama. Its props are the objects that represent the components of your process and give the mind a clearer focus on the issue at hand.

Ritual is also an opportunity to merge with greater reality of the universe, become consciously one with the creator. This is why we perform our rituals with seasonal correspondences and moon cycles. We are acknowledging that we are part of the flow of all things. This is also why, in some traditions, we cast a circle, call in the directions and ask all the kingdoms of this world to support us in our focus. If the following guidelines feel right to you, use them. If not, make some up.

• East: Archangel Uriel/New Beginnings/Air
• South: Archangel Raphael/Inner Knowing/Water
• West: Archangel Gabriel/Transformation/Fire
• North: Archangel Michael/Higher Wisdom/Earth
• (Try adding Above, Below, and Within)

• Waxing Moon: (New moon to full moon) Perform rituals of invocation and manifestation
• Waning Moon: (Full moon to new moon) Perform rituals of banishment and completion
• (Also consider that the year, itself, waxes and wanes. There are seasons of new creation and seasons of things passing.)

• Sunday: Sun/Gold or yellow/Success, new money, leadership
• Monday: Moon/Silver or white/see moon cycles above
• Tuesday: Mars/Red/Courage, strength, and protection
• Wednesday: Mercury/Yellow or violet/Communications, creativity, the mind
• Thursday: Jupiter/Bright Blue/Wealth, success, expansion
• Friday: Venus/Green or rose/Love, harmony, monetary flow
• Saturday: Saturn/Purple or black/The unknown, assessing obstacles

Your rituals will be much more effective if you perform them with your whole body. Movement and joyful dance will assist you in completing a process and clearing cellular memory. Doing the ancient spiral dance or walking the labyrinth will help you to draw your attention to the interior of your being. Bring the secrets of your subconscious out into the light of day and free up the energy of stuck patterns.

There is also much to be said for "making a joyful noise." Find the emotion inside of you and sing, shout, cry, or just make any sound that you hear when you listen to your heart.

I'm a big believer in the transformative process of fire ceremonies, which are traditionally performed with the full moon and reaffirmed on the new. Once you have assessed that which you want to release and that which you wish to actualize, write it all down on a piece of paper, light it, and watch as it combusts into pure energy. (Put the burning paper in fire-safe container please.)