It should come as no surprise that the majority of questions I am faced with as a psychic reader have to do with love and romance. Problems with existing relationships and the problem of non-existent relationship predominate. "When will I find love?" "Is this the person I'm supposed to be with?" The phrasing varies but it usually comes down to one of those two questions.

I know that what the client longing for new love wants to hear is something along the lines of, "In three months your soulmate will appear... dressed in blue... at the supermarket... in produce." Sorry, but it doesn't usually work that way.

Integrity demands that I tell that client what I truly sense. More often than not, the first pieces of information that come through have to do with incompletions from past relationships. Not very romantic, but an unavoidable truth.

A client of mine bought and used one of my Ritual of Love Kits. One of the very first things that happened after doing the ritual was that he was contacted out of the blue by his ex-fiance who was living in another state with another man. His question to me was an obvious one. "Does this mean she and I are supposed to get back together?" I explained that it more likely meant that there was a lot left incomplete between them and that those incompletions were an impediment to his establishing a new relationship. The chain of events set in motion by his ritual provided an opportunity to come complete with past events so he could move forward into a genuinely loving relationship.

There is a classic form of Japanese theatre called "No" drama. A typical story-line of No drama centers around a male character having difficulty in a relationship with a woman. He is visited by the ghost of a wife from a previous lifetime -- a relationship he is karmicly tied to and cannot move past. She comes to help him resolve the karma, or incompletion, so that he can love the new woman freely. This basic theme can be found in various forms in a great deal of Japanese theatre and literature to this day.

Years ago I found myself deeply moved by an episode of "The New Twilight Zone." The plot centers on a researcher in holographic technology who is faced with the inexplicable appearance of a rapidly developing baby girl in the hologram chamber. The man, whose marriage is on the rocks because of his resistance to having children, begins to fall in love with the holographic woman. He ultimately learns that she was his wife in a past lifetime and she had died in childbirth. Learning this enables him to consciously grieve the loss and heal his marriage. Apparently the writers of this show were familiar with No drama long before I was.

A theme like No drama is as enduring as it is because it speaks to something profoundly truthful in human experience. Incompletion attaches us to the past and inhibits forward movement in any area of life.

There are two major areas of our lives to which we can source the incompletions that are barriers to intimacy: our past (and past life) romances and our relationships with our parental figures. Injuries we have sustained in these core relationships are the ghosts that keep us running from love, even when we think we are actively seeking it.

It is for these reasons that I have recommended over and over again the books of marriage counselor Harville Hendrix to my lovelorn clients. Hendrix, the developer of "Imago" therapy, is dedicated to helping single people heal from past relationships and prepare for love, and couples to acknowledge the effects of childhood wounds and heal within the context of relationship.